When couples can’t talk, they quickly become dissatisfied, and when couples feel acutely dissatisfied, talking openly and effectively goes down the drain. A vicious cycle of partner alienation ensues. No one I know of likes to feel bad or alone, or to blame for a joint problem situation that a couple has to deal with by individual changes.
More than 82% of couples in a recent New Insights Communication survey reported that “talking to him” and “talking to her” when tensions arise is all but impossible…certainly tougher than driving when you are tired or spacing. So much is at stake when we don’t “feel good” in our primary relationship. On the other hand, so much is possible when you use the revolutionary new talk tools that I share in my new communications handbook TALK TO ME.
Talk Excuses That Spell Danger Ahead On Your Communication Highway
Here’s how men and women alike who are feeling stuck, stubborn, down and blue, fuming, bored, hopeless and helpless, lonely, disconnected and mad as a wet hornet searching for someone to sting…speak about their partner’s whom they don’t believe or experience they can talk to without a big fuss ensuing.
I can’t talk to you.
It’s hard to say anything.
Whatever I say gets turned around.
You never talk to me anymore.
Your mind is already made up.
I’m afraid to talk to you.
Why don’t you ever want to talk to me?
Why is everything I say so wrong in your mind?
You don’t listen to me.
You take what I say out of context.
I’ve given up trying to get through to you.
When you “give up” on getting through to a partner instead of “giving up on giving up,” your decision can spell disaster thusly: UNFAIR FIGHTING, DISTANCE, and LONELINESS.
Don’t despair. Try some of my new talk tools to see if you can get along better and get back on the track of enjoying each other.
Dr. Dennis O’Grady has taught marital psychotherapy for doctoral students at the Wright State University School of Professional Psychology. He has also worked with couples on ways to improve their loving relationships for 30 years as a communications psychologist. Dennis is the author of the communication handbook that you should have gotten when you were a teenager called, “Talk to Me: Communication moves to get along with anyone.”