Are you a positive thinker, a positive talker and a positive doer? Does your personal credo make you a living legend, of sorts, because you choose to deploy an optimistic mental attitude and make a constructive impact in life?
Or do you prefer to be a “contrarian,” a negative talker who is a negative thinker and a negative doer? In my book TALK TO ME, I cover what effective communication is all about for all of us.
These are Dr. Dennis O’Grady’s Ten Tenets of Positive Thinkers and Talkers:
1. Dare to care. Positive thinkers and talkers “dare to care,” especially when they feel knocked “down and out.”
2. Look for the miracles—not only the mistakes. Positive thinkers and talkers “bravely acclaim instead of lamely blame,” and “count the miracles and the mistakes as messages.” They look squarely and courageously at the silver cloud and the dark lining.
3. Refuse to swim in a pity pot the size of a pool. As a positive thinker and talker, you embrace who you ARE and what you’re DOING right NOW, instead of wrapping yourself around a past or future axle of who you WISH you could be or WHAT you WISH you might have done.
4. Walk the “communication is everything” talk. Positive thinkers and talkers are eager and willing to work hard and smart to make daily improvements in effective communication skills.
5. Who are you talking to? Positive communicators use the “secret strengths” of the two communicator types to talk to you. The negativity embedded in a statement such as, “We just can’t talk because of how different we are,” instead becomes, “Why can’t we talk, for a change, just because we are opposite Empathizer and Instigator communicators?!”
6. Go the extra (s)mile. Positive thinkers and talkers live on an avenue of two-way relationship talks by giving help to others who want the help, and permitting themselves to be helped in equal doses.
7. Lop off gossip. Positive thinkers and talkers believe “IF I can’t say IT to a person’s face, THEN perhaps it’s stupid to talk IT behind backs.” After all, talking IT is a stinky and slinky way to live an unreal life.
8. BE so tight you squeak. Positive people can’t afford the expensive luxury of any negative thought or negative relationship. Instead, they focus on the good works that help them manage moods positively.
9. When life hands you lemonades—be glad they aren’t guilt grenades. Positive thinkers and talkers are guilt-free communicators because they strive courageously to keep an open vs. a closed mind, a mind whose emotions flow vs. block.
10. Spare energy. Energy is the gas and mood is the spare tire in your communicator car, a vehicle that needs both fuel and pumped tires to travel a bumpy life road with ease.
Really, positive thinkers and talkers simply try to compromise by, “At least talk about the positive things, too!” Since the bowl of life is filled with luscious cherries and pits, your attitude DOES make a difference today in how you feel about you, others and your life. In Talk to Me, I cover what communication is all about for you, me and those among us who choose to use “The Positive Thinkers and Talkers Credo.”
So lean in close to me, and let me whisper something into your three ears. Are YOU using a problem-solving and optimistic “I’m O.K. and You’re O.K.” attitude, the kind of attitudes used by people who are experts at change? Or are you the spite-filled and prideful contrarian who won’t go the extra mile (much less the extra smile)…because of emotional laziness and pessimism. Contrarians smirk instead of smile. Or are you a “Merryian”…a positive person who smiles instead of smirks–one who may not be perfect…BUT is one person who is perfectly happy?
The choice is yours—Contrarian or Merryian–and yours alone, as IT should be.
Dr. Dennis O’Grady is the proud father of his new “baby” called “TALK TO ME: Communication moves to get along with anyone” found exclusively at www.drogrady.com. It’s the communication class you should have taken in high school to be an awe-filled communicator all life long.