Monthly Archives: May 2006

A dear reader sends a sad goodbye to an old friend below. She says, “I’ll miss that old tree. And I just wanted to take this opportunity, maybe in the spirit of the Ent World, to say “Thanks. Thanks, climbing tree…for all the hours of fun.”

I feel I need to give a little tribute here to a family friend who’s going away next week, because sometimes people and things leave our lives suddenly, and we never get to say goodbye.

One of the reasons that Teakwood Avenue became “home” in 1983 is because it’s a nice, friendly old house surrounded by lots of nice, friendly trees. Mostly big old oaks, similar to the ones at my mom and dad’s farm. Big, hulky old trees that have been there probably 100 or so years…they give great shade and a sense of belongingness to this square plot of land on Teakwood Avenue. I’ve even learned when to shut the windows in the spring to keep all the oak pollen outside so that my son, Tim, (and later Squeak, the cat) didn’t erupt with nasty effusive allergy attacks.

But in the front of the house, one near the front door and two on the extra side lot, were big old pine trees, too. The blue spruce died long ago and is now a productive flower bed, and it was sad to see that go because Sara used to love spreading a blanket underneath it and playing there, hidden by its green boughs from the outside world. Somewhere, I have a photo of her at about age 3 poking her head out, just checking…..I love that photo.

“Clinical psychologist suggests supplanting your rage with a healthy dose of personal change. Dennis O’Grady contends anger is deeply and emotionally entrenched in our culture, but it doesn’t have to be that way.” Written by Kevin Lamb, Health Reporter, Dayton Daily News.

At first, the notion that anger can be constructive sounds like a brass band off key.

Yeah, right. Just like cheesecake can be healthy.

People tend to think of anger in only one way, says Dennis O’Grady, a clinical psychologist in Dayton. As a classic example, he talks about the “anger orgies” on television talk shows. “We kind of hang that unhealthy anger up on a flag pole and salute it,” he says.

“We recognize that explosion of tempers as normal, reasonable behavior,” Dr O’Grady says, “and no one is challenging that.”

So he challenged it. He created a six hour, audio-tape guide to making anger constructive instead of “the thief that is robbing you of happiness.” He called it No Hard Feelings: Managing Anger and Conflict in Your Work, Family and Love Life.

Anger itself is only an emotion, O’Grady says, not a reaction. There are different ways to express it. There are the standard shouting and bulling and pouting and other variations on the theme of a howling infant with a heavy diaper. Or a person can direct that energy toward solving the problem that caused the anger, toward meeting an unmet need.