Monthly Archives: April 2007

You’ve invested your nest egg in a small business. Your business plan will work. You have the “fire in the belly” of the emerging entrepreneur. You are not lazy, and you are willing to work around the clock to make your dreams come true. You’ve hired good people, correctly read your success compass or GPD, and are heading in the right direction. You’re a little nervous, but optimistic.

GOOD TALK HABITS AT WORK

So what communication strategies (or “good talk habits”) do real-life entrepreneurs use? I posed that very question to Brenda and Rick Weber, who established and own The Cobblestone Village and Cafe in Waynesville, Ohio. In their own words, they routinely use these seven keys to keep lines of communication open with their employees:

1. MAKE YOURSELF ACCESSIBLE. Routinely ask “How’s it going?” and listen with interest to the responses.

Example: “This is done by checking in with employees daily, maybe several times a day, to let them know you are interested in what they’re doing. That way you don’t isolate yourself in an office everyday.”

2. WORK AS A TEAM WITH EMPLOYEES. Constantly build a “We-Team” and can-do attitude vs. a “Me-Team.”

Example: “We try to do this each day by pitching in and by physically or intellectually helping out wherever help is needed. Do not always be the one who delegates; be the helper too!”

3. INCLUDE EMPLOYEES IN DECISION-MAKING. Especially encourage your quieter employees to speak up.

Example: “The best way this works for us is by addressing job-related problems, improvements, and changes with the employees. Solicit their feedback and solutions, then integrate their ideas with our ideas.”

4. BE FLEXIBLE. Keep focusing on doing what works and making it just a little bit better each day.

Example: “How we do this is by offering different ways or options of achieving the desired result. For instance, if the stockroom needs organized, I let employees pick the best time to do it, as long as it gets finished by the end of the week. Or, I don’t mind if you take a certain day off as long as you work it out with your work partner and let me know.

5. CELEBRATE THE LITTLE THINGS. Celebrate the journey instead of the destination.

Example: “Let employees know you appreciate what they do, and talk about how they do it. If an employee helps you design a Web site for your company and they do a great job, let them know immediately that you love what they have done, and that you really appreciate their talents in this area.”

6. HAVE INTEGRITY. Do what you say you are going to do and be trustworthy.

Example: “We love this one! If you tell an employee that you are going to follow through on something or help them work on a project, then do it! If a circumstance arises so that you cannot participate, then tell them ahead of time instead of just not doing it! Let employees know they can trust you with their confidences.”

7. MAKE IT A FUN PLACE TO WORK. Work is supposed to be fun, challenging, and enjoyable.

Example: “Be happy and positive as a manager or boss. Then fun and happiness will trickle down and follow you everywhere!”

Use these simple yet effective leadership communication secrets as you ride along the two-way communication highway toward a town called Success.

Dennis O’Grady

Dennis O’Grady is the author of Talk to Me: Communication Moves To Get Along With Anyone. He is a Dayton-based corporate trainer and can be reached at www.drogrady.com.

What are the benefits of going from a good to a great communicator? Will your company or family post record profits, fire up motivation, boost morale, come up with better solutions to pesky problems, measure produced results and have a smile on all the faces around the communicator table if you do improve your communication status? You can bet your compass of effective leadership communication on it!

THE 9 PERSONAL BENEFITS OF GOOD COMMUNICATION

But don’t take my word on it. Listen to the most often cited “personal reasons” for using the TALK TO ME communication system:

1. Energy and empathy improves…“Where does he/she get all his/her energy and compassion?”

2. Mood bumps up to the positive…“Nothing much seems to get you down for very long!”

3. Self-inflicted worry and anxiety declines…“Why run yourself in circles or beat your head against a wall?”

4. Enjoying diversity…“They really seem to enjoy people from all walks of life!”

5. The light-bulb effect turns on…“My relationships no longer derail me from doing what’s good for me.”

6. Impossible people don’t make you reel…“Difficult people are no longer so difficult!”

7. Improved problem-solving…“I let go of relationship or work situations that aren’t working.”

8. Talking positively to self…“I have a far better inner-personal relationship with my self.”

9. Optimistic attitude…“I have more vitality, less depressive thinking, irritations don’t ruin my day.”

GET A GOOD GRIP ON THE COMMUNICATOR CAR STEERING WHEEL, BECAUSE YOU ARE THE LEADER OF YOUR OWN LIFE

Hey, if you want to keep getting a speeding ticket for being a fast talker, or running into the same walls and problems over and over again, then pay no attention while you drive down the Communicator Highway. But if you want to be as happy (mostly) as you are setting out on a vacation, then try on for size the benefits of positive and effective communication driving skills at home and work.

COMMUNICATE POSITIVELY AND EFFECTIVELY…BE THE LEADER OF YOUR OWN LIFE

Dennis E. O’Grady, Psy.D., is a corporate trainer, professional keynote speaker, and effective leadership communication seminar leader. Dennis is the developer of the powerful new communication system found only in his book “Talk to Me:  Communication Moves To Get Along With Anyone.” He is the founder of New Insights Communication, and is a Clinical Professor at the Wright State University School of Professional Psychology in Dayton, Ohio.

Foggy communicators really fog things up… looking around while they’re driving, drinking coffee, talking on a cell phone, hollering at another driver, turning up the hit song on the radio, and guess what? You get steamed like a sardine. Well, we all act like idiots sometimes. We all push people away out of awareness using bad talk moves. There are no bad apples in the communication orchard, because we all can learn smooth communication moves.

NO BAD APPLES IN THE COMMUNICATION ORCHARD?

Jesse Jackson said, “Never look down on anybody unless you’re helping him up.” 14 ways to tell if you’re talking from a me-centered vs. a relationship-centered perspective that shuts down good talk:

1. Negative communication is hard work. Nothing is straightforward or simple with the bad communicator, so getting straight talk from their crooked world is near impossible.

2. Blocked communication. Bad communication blocks and all but closes down the ability to change. Open communication means listening to constructive negative feedback instead of firing sympathetic souls who insist on speaking a truth you may not want to hear.

3. One-way communication. One-way talk strives to win at all costs. Bad communicators aren’t generous, and in fact are very stingy. Winning is perceived as “taking more instead of giving more.”

4. Dishonest communication. Bad communicators play stupid games and change the rules of the game or the time left to play it. They justify “cheating” when caught with “BUT I didn’t mean to…my bad!”

5. Controlling communication. Unethical communicators live for the thrill of control. “The harder I try to control, the behinder I get in all my relationships!” is not the awareness the control freak “gets.”

6. Me-centered communication. It’s just all-ways always about what’s convenient or inconvenient for me, in my never-ending quest to never-ever want to appear to be in the wrong or willing/able to admit that I’m anything less than a perfect know-it-all.

7. “Poor, poor, pitiful me” communication. Sob stories make us all feel sympathetic, when we assume that life happens TO you instead of WITH you. When there are victims and villains, psychodrama abounds.

8. “I’m owed big-time” communication. Victim talkers are hard to pin down with all their “road noise.” They expect extra compensation from your insurance company for the troubles they’ve seen.

9. Lazy communication. Lazy communication closes down talk avenues by erecting roadblocks, while active or open communication builds bridges.

10. Aggressive communication. Bully communicators won’t take no for an answer; they’ll hammer away at your point of view until you give in or give up your right to talk.

11. Change-resistive communication. Resisting change means you don’t change what isn’t working, or open-mindedly adopt “mini experiments” to uncover what will work better.

12. Head-spinning communication. A talker who refuses to admit that he or she is wrong, and implies that the responsibility to “fix” the problem resides somewhere else. A head-spinner tells you that you’ve got to figure this huge puzzle out all by your lonesome.

13. Apples-to-oranges communication. Fast talkers switch topics and connive to convince you that a shriveled grape is a red shiny apple, or that apples and oranges are alike and interchangeable.

14. Distracting communication. Miscommunication is a constant cycle of self-doubt and second-guessing. It’s like a track wreck waiting to happen to a car as it tries to beat the odds of getting across the tracks before the crossbar drops.

You can tell a lot about a person by how they drive. When you’re cut off in traffic, how do you react? Empathizer-type drivers typically default to the other driver getting ahead, while Instigator-type drivers can lose their cool more easily when falling behind.

CAN’T QUITE PIN DOWN A SLIPPERY TALKER?

Slippery and slick passive-aggressive communicators play by their own rules and thwart yours. They key your parked car, leaving a long scratch down the side of it. Later, they will astound you by implying that you are to blame for parking your car in the wrong spot.

A SQUARE PEG IN A ROUND HOLE

Are you bruising your hands and making your knuckles bleed by trying to force the square peg of a bad communicator into the round hole of good communication? Put simply: There’s nothing to figure out because a bad communicator simply makes bad things happen.

ABOUT COMMUNICATIONS PSYCHOLOGIST AND CORPORATE TRAINER DENNIS E. O’GRADY, PSY.D.

Dr. Dennis O’Grady is a professional keynote speaker and leadership communication consultant who is the developer of the Talk to Me: Communication Moves To Get Along With Anyone system. The system assists managers be better communicators, and builds high-quality teamwork, that nets better decisions that are easier to implement and produce measurably positive results. You’ll be on higher ground when you understand that Empathizer and Instigator communicators are like apples and oranges, each perfectly acceptable in their own light, and very different in your eyes when you can see.

I recently visited my elder mom at the Life Care Center of Sarasota, a rehabilitation center. Mom had fallen and broken her hip in four places, and after intensive surgery, she was recovering slowly. I was comforted by team members who were friendly, positive, Johnny on the spot, and who took time to talk to me and asked: “Is there something I can do to help?” Team members said they liked to work at LCC, because the owner-leader at the center began the business when he couldn’t find a good place for his mother to heal. “Would you send your mother here?” is the mission focus. My answer is a booming, “You bet your bipper, gipper!”

THE MOST COMMON REASON FOR SUCCESS IS THE ABILITY TO COMMUNICATE POSITIVELY AND EFFECTIVELY

What makes all the difference between a low-performing and a high-performing team? Ever think about that? Put more personally: How can you or I wreck good communication. How can we together build a high-performing team, one that produces positive customer results? Here’s how:

COMMUNICATION WRECK #1: SET MEDIOCRE GOALS.The high-performing team sets high goals with a smile, will go the extra mile to accomplish them, and will steer clear of feeling smug while failing to set big enough goals.

COMMUNICATION WRECK #2: IGNORE PROBLEMS.The high-performing team solves mouse- and elephant-size problems alike, and steers clear of ignoring or justifying either in any room during dark or bright times.

COMMUNICATION WRECK #3: BE LAZY. The high-performing team works hard, but hardly feels the time fly by, and steers clear of being a sporadic mood-driven worker.

COMMUNICATION WRECK #4: FEEL INSECURE. The high-performing team projects confidence and exudes warmth, and steers clear of being too low or too high in self-esteem.

COMMUNICATION WRECK #5: CARRY A RIGID MINDSET. The high-performing team uses a resilient mindset and carries a coping flashlight, and steers clear of pessimism so good ideas will take flight and light up the night.

COMMUNICATION WRECK #6: STICK WITH THE TRIED-AND-UNTRUE. The high-performing team doesn’t keep doing more and more of what isn’t working, and steers clear of ditching new brainstormed solutions to old bothersome problems.

COMMUNICATION WRECK #7: BE A ‘YES’ PERSON. The high-performing team isn’t afraid to say “no” or “yes” or “maybe so” when occasion dictates, and steers clear of “nicey-nice ‘yes’ men and women” who exchange wishful thinking for reality.

COMMUNICATION WRECK #8: DISHONESTY. The high-performing team speaks honestly and ethically, keeps its’ promises and effectively doesn’t change the rules of the game when behind.

COMMUNICATION WRECK #9: CAN’T TRUST YOU. The high-performing team is trustworthy, accountable, humble, fun-loving, respectful of blind spots, dependable, personal, doesn’t take failure personally, encouraging. It’s a bunch of quiet leaders who are quite stunning performers when led by a like-minded leader.

COMMUNICATION WRECK #10: SPREAD STRESS AROUND. The high-performing team handles stress well, and uses joking, teasing, acts of random kindness, sharing personal stories, checking up on team members who feel down, and getting ahead by going ahead; they aren’t afraid to laugh at fear in the face.

Relationship-centered teams are trustworthy, effective and ethical. In short, TEAMwork is a far different call of the wild than MEwork.

THE MOST COMMON FAILURE OF TEAMS TO THRIVE

The most common reason for failure is the inability to communicate effectively and positively, which keeps the team engine tuned up periodically and humming and purring along smoothly. Employees lose morale when they feel treated like losers or are made to feel like a bucket of old rusty bolts that are good for nothing.

ABOUT DAYTON, OHIO, CORPORATE TRAINER DENNIS E. O’GRADY, PSY.D.

Keynote speaker, corporate trainer and communications psychologist Dr. Dennis O’Grady teaches leader managers and teams to use the “Talk to Me” system to achieve high-performing communication results. By knowing your communicator type, and knowing the type of your opposite whom you have difficulty with, you will be more likely to produce the positive results that persistently and consistently keep you and your company on the winning track, and off from the whining rack. The Web page of Life Care Centers of America at Sarasota is www.lcca.com who live the belief that “The sun setting is no less beautiful than the sun rising.”