Monthly Archives: May 2008

IS SUCCESS AS SIMPLE AS HANGING THE BROOMS AND SHOVELS?

Is success as simple as hanging the brooms and shovels where they’re supposed to go? Is it finding out what works well and doing it over and over again, instead of doing what doesn’t work over and over again? Right you are on both counts. A best practice in communications psychology is to ask top-performing leaders how they get such good results, so those same results can be duplicated by others. In short, when the novice does what works for the master, lo and behold, the novice gets good results, too.

5 COMMUNICATION BEACONS FROM A TOP FLIGHT INSTIGATOR LEADER

After a recent corporate training session, I asked one of the participants, a long-standing, peak-performing Individual Quality (I.Q.) Leader of a growing business in the area, for his Top 5 Leadership Commandments for Good Communication. Here’s his formula for success which you, too, can use…

5 Positive Attitude Beacons from a Top Gun Communication Flight Master:

1. KNOW WHO YOU ARE. Don’t try to be everything to everybody. Find out what you do well and what you like to do, then do those things a whole lot.

2. ACCOUNTABILITY. Each of us is accountable and has a boss to be accountable to. We’re expected to perform those functions assigned.

3. WORK ETHIC. You are paid to produce positive results.

4. DISCIPLINE. Do it the right way – the same right way – over and over and over again.

5. A SENSE OF TEAM. No matter what function or role you perform at the workplace, we’re just people…and just because I have a different job than you, doesn’t mean I am better than you.

In short, if you embrace your role in the company and strive every day to become a little better at it, we will have success, and, at the same time, set everyone up for success.

ARE YOU A TOP COMMUNICATOR?

What 5 attitudes do you use to navigate your success? Top communicators don’t allow their communication to come out of the blue, dropping out of thin air and confusing others like a spinning gyroscope that drives everyone batty….

Sandwich. The fourth Earl of Sandwich was John Montagu, and he engaged often in his favorite pastime, gambling. Any time he was able to take a seat in a game, he would. During his playing times, he didn’t want to leave the gaming table to take the time to eat formally at the dining table. Instead, he ordered his servants to give him a slice of roast beef between two pieces of bread so he could eat while he played. Because this sandwich was portable and needed no utensils, it became widely incorporated into the daily lives of those who were short on time or who found it difficult to be at home for every meal. The Earl of Sandwich may not have been the first to come up with the idea of a sandwich, but he was the first to use it in public…often.

WHO IS “TALK DOC” DENNIS O’GRADY?

Dennis E. O’Grady, Psy.D., is a Dayton communications psychologist and relationship communications coach. Dennis wears two hats, one of corporate trainer in leadership communication skills, and the other as a couple communications expert. The Talk2Me system bridges communications gaps and helps resolve family conflicts. Dr. O’Grady’s mission is to give you tools to use to improve the quality of your life. Dennis is the author of Talk to Me: Communication Moves To Get Along With Anyone.

AVOID LOOKING LIKE A GOOF BALL

Last time I told you that movie hero Rocky Balboa was an Empathizer-type communicator. In the Talk to Me© leadership communication system, he would be a “Seer.” He went to war with Apollo Creed for the Heavyweight Boxing Championship. As you’ve learned, whom you box with in real life is typically your opposite communicator type. I’ve also taught that you should walk in the shoes of your opposite talk type. Are there characteristics which tell you that boisterous and flamboyant top dog Apollo Creed was an Instigator communicator? You tell me….

DO YOU EAT NAILS FOR BREAKFAST?

Instigator-type communicators don’t mind a good fight or conflict. They are strong-willed, eat nails for breakfast, and fart thunder. I-types can’t stand losing, much less losing face, and they want to win big and look good while doing it. When criticized harshly, they will work harder and smarter to be the one in the right. Situations that worry most people roll off the backs of Instigators like water off a duck.

I-type talk-traits which Apollo demonstrated:

…Lived life with fiery passion – and an occasional flare-up
…Easily accepted that he was the greatest champion
…Turned bad news into an opportunity
…Snatched success out of the jaws of defeat
…Came up with the promotional idea of using a local talent
…Bragged comfortably
…Got lost in the marketing and didn’t see that Rocky had nothing to lose
…Surrounded himself with very talented people who could deliver what he needed
…Saw the map ahead which would solve his problems
…Made a memorable spectacle of the whole thing, with fancy costumes and all
…Confident – ever confident
…Never going to give up or quit
…Believed in justice and fairness for all

ARE YOU AN INSTIGATOR-TALK BOXER?

If you are an Instigator communicator, these traits will fit you like a hand in a boxing glove when you’re in the ring with your talk opponent:

• You need R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

• You default to anger when vulnerable.

• Tough feedback is easier to give than to take.

• Getting past the past is your way to make peace, not war.

• Reaching a friendly compromise is a challenge, when you are hurting.

• An Achilles heel for you, however, is that when the red flag of anger is flying, logic flies right out the door.

• Rogues or toxic communicators, psychodrama, and making a mountain out of a molehill drain your physical energy battery.

• When stressed, you forget that being right and winning is not the same as being loving and compromising.

• You are for doing less of what isn’t working.

• You recommend a cooling off period before attempting problem-solving, when the bridge of trust has been weakened.

• Although proud, you can admit to making mistakes.

• You are a role model for how to get down to business and not beat around the bush.

• You tend to be loyal to people who produce the results you seek.

To avoid looking like a goof ball, use your strengths, and your co-communicator’s strengths, for the good of all.

ABOUT “TALK DOC” DENNIS E. O’GRADY, PSY.D.

Dr. Dennis O’Grady is the new Talk Doc in town, a corporate consultant, team trainer, and the insightful, original developer and researcher of the Talk to Me© positive and effective communication system. T2Me has been successfully implemented in multi-generational family companies and couples communication training.

IN THIS CORNER…ROCKY BALBOA

Remember when you watched and felt the first punch of the original Rocky movie, starring Sylvester Stallone? And what about the music from that muscle-pumping soundtrack… ♫da-da-dah♪… ♫da-da-dah♪ … ♪da-dum …♫da-da-dum♪-dum-dum …. It still makes me want to punch bags, do sit-ups, sprint up hundreds of steps, and leap up-and-down in celebration! I enjoyed watching this classic with my wife and daughters recently.

Do you recall the story line? In one corner of the ring is Apollo Creed, the heavyweight boxing champion of the world, who is, at the moment, in a pinch for a payday. The other corner was occupied by a Philly Italian underdog boxer named Rocky, who had nothing to lose and who trained by breaking the ribs of slabs of beef hanging in a meat freezer.

Each man was a skilled, thriller fighter. Could it be that Rocky was an Empathizer-type communicator, in the Talk To Me© system, who was known for being super-sensitively tuned-in, as my wife suggested? Adrian! And what about idea-man Apollo Creed, whose promotional genius saved the day? Here comes a left jab…you tell me. Rocky was an Empathizer, but how do I know?

CHARACTERISTICS THAT EXPLAIN WHY UNDERDOG ROCKY WAS AN EMPATHIZER COMMUNICATOR

Although Empathizer-type communicators have guts that don’t quit, and they possess “jerk radar,” they can also be saps and neglectful about sharpening their talent tools. E-types don’t want to stand out and risk falling down. (In fact, when slammed or shunned, E-types shut down and disappear on you.)

E-type talk-traits that Rocky demonstrated…

…Sensitively talked to his two turtles, Cuff and Link
…Dreamed big but thought small
…Put a great deal of thought into joking with Adrian at the pet store, to gain her favor
…Although he felt slighted, he avoided conflict with his gym manager
…Procrastinated working out at the gym and lost his locker
…Intuited that although Adrian was shy, she was a beautiful woman, inside and out
…Couldn’t bring himself to break the thumbs of a client who owed the loan shark cash
…Kept forgiving Adrian’s brother, when he was an “anger alcoholic” repeatedly
…Had difficulty believing in his natural born boxing talents
…Really valued talking to everyone on the street and being in relationships with people

Rocky always empathized and connected with people and creatures of all kinds. He was muscled, big and rough, and tough spoken, but he had a soft heart of bright gold.

ARE YOUR TALENTS SHUFFLED AROUND BY OTHER PEOPLE?

Empathizers can lose track of who they are, which results in a forfeiture of confidence. Rocky set his goal to go more than three rounds and still be standing at the end. The fight ended in a tie, so he got his wish. Are you in an invisible boxing ring or cage, feeling as though you’re being shuffled around, causing you to get off track and unable to reach your goals, my dear Empathizer communicators? Don’t let anyone, anyhow, anyway toss you into the backseat of your life or throw you out of your communicator car!

ARE YOU AN EMPATHIZER-TALK BOXER?

If you are an Empathizer communicator, these traits will fit you like a hand in a boxing glove:

• You tell the truth and listen more than talk, to really know what’s really going on.

• You dislike, “I know best…” or “I’m right and you’re wrong…” extremism.

• You care about people, not just about their money, so you can sleep at night.

• You may not have book-smarts, but you do have street-smarts. Unlike many people, you actually learn from life.

• You are able to predict which strategies will fly or fail, based on your uncanny ability to look into your crystal ball and see the future.

• An Achilles heel for you, however, is that you get your knuckles bloodied, trying to fit a square peg into a round hole.

• You are able to command great respect and loyalty, not only because you put your customers’ needs first, but also because you genuinely care about their satisfaction as well as their frustration, over the long haul on the two-way communication highway.

• You have uncanny relationship savvy.

• You are opposed to doing more of what isn’t working.

• You have irreplaceable wisdom, earned through painful experiences.

• Although humble, you do know best.

• You are a role model for how to get along with anyone.

• You tend to stay loyal to people who aren’t being loyal to you, to the company, or to the project.

What about the communicator type of Apollo Creed? Where does he fit into the scheme of things…? Stay tuned for the next round of good communication in the Friday Talk News.

ABOUT “TALK DOC” DENNIS E. O’GRADY, PSY.D.

Dr. Dennis O’Grady is the new Talk Doc in town, a corporate consultant, team trainer, and the insightful, original developer and researcher of the Talk to Me© positive and effective communication system. T2Me has been successfully implemented in multi-generational family companies and couples communication training.