Communication Ramifications

I have an “attitude of gratitude” for being the developer of the TALK2ME© system, which teaches you how to communicate effectively with opposing Empathizer or Instigator communicators. After all, there are communication ramifications for driving in a fog of ignorance. Do you understand the needs, wants, and language preferences of each type? Let’s find out….

WHAT AN EMPATHIZER WANTS

  • Respect of feelings and person; dignity
  • Validation and acknowledgement
  • Non-critical, non-judgmental feedback
  • Recognition, esteem, expressed appreciation
  • Non-threatening means of expressing
  • Forgiveness for past mistakes
  • A listening ear – to be heard
  • An opportunity to make a difference
  • To not hurt anyone’s feelings
  • To preserve the relationship at all costs

WHAT AN INSTIGATOR WANTS

  • Get down to business and get things done
  • Forget about feelings and focus on task
  • Stop wasting time and get to the point
  • Follow my lead; listen to me; do what I say
  • My way or the highway; be clear and direct
  • Don’t bore me with your details, feelings…
  • Stop taking things personally; get over it!
  • Get out of my way! I have a job to do!

Talk in the other communicators’ style of language, and they will hear you!

EMPATHY: THE PATH TO EMPATHY IS LISTENING TO AND USING THE LANGUAGE STYLE OF YOUR OPPOSING TALK TYPE

Are these questions or comments you have heard or perhaps thought?

  • People don’t listen….
  • You just don’t understand….
  • I’ve quit putting ideas out there.
  • Why are feelings always coming up and getting in the way?

…AND many more.

That’s where the TALK2ME© system comes in – it can help resolve the conflict points. Because of the research-proven communication tools which rapidly resolve conflicts in the TALK2ME© system, decision-makers are providing the opportunity for their employees and teammates to learn these powerful strategies. Go to http://www.drogrady.com/talk2me/ and find out what TALK2ME© can do for you.

Don’t Just Talk. Communicate!

B2B MARKETING COLUMN – N. J. VALLONE

Dr. Dennis O’Grady has a message for marketers and other business people: “You may be talking your way out of successful customer relationships without realizing it.” As a Dayton-based clinical psychologist who specializes in interpersonal communications, Dr. O’Grady has distilled years of research into a communication system he explains in his book, “Talk To Me” (available in local bookstores and on Amazon.com).

According to Dr. O’Grady, “Just as people are born either left-handed or right-handed, they are born as one of two types of communicators. I’ve designated these as Empathizer-Types (E-Types) or Instigator-Types (I-Types). One type isn’t better or worse than the other, and they both have their strengths and weaknesses. The trick is to know which type you are, learn the characteristics of both types and be able to use this knowledge to communicate more effectively.”

So what does all of this have to do with marketing communications? Plenty. As savvy marketing people have moved from focusing on individual transactions to developing deeper customer relationships, it’s more important than ever that we understand each other explicitly. Have you ever lost a customer and didn’t know why? It could be that you were simply not communicating effectively. You may have unknowingly hurt the customer’s feelings. Or perhaps they felt that you didn’t pay enough attention to what they were telling you.

That’s where the TALK2ME system comes in. By learning which type of communicator you are and understanding the traits of your opposite type, you’ll have the communication skills you need to talk with your customers instead of talking to them. As a result, you can create more profitable relationships.

Through the metaphor of communications as a superhighway, Dr. O’Grady’s system enables readers to learn and use the strengths of both E- and I-Types to avoid communication “accidents” that prevent us from achieving our goals.

“On this highway,” Dr. O’Grady tells us, “E-Types drive ocean blue-colored cars because their emotions run as deep as the ocean, and they put the ‘motion’ in the word ‘emotion.’ I-Types drive burnt orange cars because they burn as bright as the sun and love to instigate and lead change. E-Types complain that I-Types don’t listen to them, and I-Types complain that E-Types don’t drive past their moods fast enough.”

Which type of communicator do you think you are? According to the book, you are likely an Empathizer Type if:

  • – By nature, you are a sensitive person.
  • – You are an empathetic leader.
  • – You are a good follower and a team player.
  • – You struggle with your feelings getting hurt too easily and for too long.
  • – You are a great listener because you listen open-mindedly with three ears.

You are likely an Instigator Type if:

  • – By nature, you are a less sensitive person.
  • – You are a strategic leader.
  • – You are a good problem-solver and debater.
  • – You struggle with biting your tongue or sticking your foot in your mouth, wishing you could take back your words.
  • – You have guts galore and courage to lead the way ahead through the unknown.
  • – You listen selectively with a goal in mind, and you expect people to push back and spark a conversation.

You can find out for certain which type communicator you are by visiting www.drogrady.com and clicking on “What’s your type?” Your answers to a dozen short questions will tell you. I answered these questions and quickly found my communications type is…well, I’ll let you guess.

By the way, the lessons learned through Dr. O’Grady’s system not only help you to be a better marketer, they can also make communicating with your business associates and those closest to you in your personal life much more effective. Which may be an even better reason to check it out.

Norman J. Vallone is a marketing strategist who helps businesses achieve their goals by advising, training and empowering them to strategically market their products and services.

Communication Turn-Ons

COMMUNICATION TURN-ONS

Drivers on the two-way communication highway avoid turning off good talk. Common barriers to effective communication which seminar members say you must steer around:

COMMUNICATION TURNOFFS

  • Emotions, emotional displays, drama
  • Too much talk without saying anything
  • Beating around the bush instead of getting to the point
  • Inaccurate information – too many feelings not enough facts
  • Bad outlook
  • Bad mood
  • Shooting the messenger
  • Saying one thing and doing another
  • Putting value on project, not people
  • Mistrust
  • Discourage telling truth

COMMUNICATION TURN-ONS

You want to create talk that is priceless? You’ve got nothing to lose and everything to gain. Try these talk shoes on for size:

  • Be rational
  • Ask directive questions
  • Listen with three ears
  • Ask for more facts and fewer feelings
  • Use a good outlook on life
  • Spread a good mood around when times are tough
  • Implement what the messenger advises
  • Do the new and record the results to logically find out what works
  • Put value equally on getting things done and on the people who get the things done
  • Build bridges of trust by being reliable
  • Encourage telling the truth…which sets you free

SOLVING PROBLEMS AND SEIZING OPPORTUNITIES

It’s all about communication. Everyone says so…everyone knows so. Every organization and family flies or flunks based on their effective use of communication skills and tools. The TALK2ME© system can show you the map around communication turnoffs and the way to get on down the road of solving problems and seizing opportunities.

Clinical psychologist Dr. Dennis O’Grady is the developer of the TALK2ME© system, which is central to business innovation and couple communication through using positive and effective communication tools.