As the developer of a new interpersonal communications theory, I am often asked “How can I be a good two-way communicator?” Actually, that very question is a miscommunication because “good vs. bad” communicators is a misnomer. Rather, you are either an “effective” or an “ineffective” communicator on the two-way communicator highway — one who does or doesn’t get “positive results” when you speak to yourself or to others.
So here’s what makes a “good” or “effective” communicator in my book TALK TO ME:
- You know your communicator type. You are either an Empathizer-type (E-type) communicator or an Instigator-type (I-type) communicator.
- You know a talk partner’s communicator type. Chances are your talk partner is your opposite communicator type.
- You are able to recite the four communicator modes in this order: Emotions mode, Beliefs mode, Behaviors mode, Talks mode. You are able to “hear” the modes talk to you and be “responsive” instead of “reactive.”
- You appreciate that E-types prefer to travel in the lanes of Emotions and Talks and respond appropriately.
- You appreciate the fact that I-types prefer to travel in the lanes of Beliefs and Behaviors and respond appropriately.
- If you are an E-type, you use the positive Beliefs mode more to change fast and try out new talk tools that last.
- If you are an I-type, you use the positive Emotions mode more to change fast and try out new talk tools that last.
- You don’t play the blame game by using gender, mood, ethnic/racial, emotional baggage, habit, personality, inability to change or other excuses to explain away lame talking tactics.
- You don’t ever claim that “venting a spleen” is really “talking.”
- You spend four minutes a day learning new talk tools and you keep an open mind about how to drive more sanely on the two-way communicator highway.
The two-way communicator highway is the way to go if you want to achieve lasting intimacy, teamwork, family problem-solving, entrepreneurial success and lasting good works. If you don’t know your “communicator type,” you can “take the test” at this site to find out.
Are you ready to go from a “good to great communicator?” I bet you are! Talk isn’t cheap…good talk is priceless.
Dr. Dennis O’Grady is the developer of the new communication technology featured in his new book TALK TO ME: Communication moves to get along with anyone at www.drogrady.com