One of my clients who has good communication skills, and an extroverted and highly charismatic personality, told me recently: “I even can make a pig talk!” I’ve seen this professional saleswoman in action, and make no mistake about it, she talks to animals and humans alike, and they all talk back super-enthusiastically to her. Talk about being APPROACH-ABLE. Whew-ee.
Do you let your charisma flow and your confidence show? You were born to win, too, but are you able to make people stop in their tracks and take notice of you? To be seen and heard, you must send the disarming message, “I’m approachable!” Put differently, send out the message you would like to receive from others, without any expectation of receiving anything back in return for the best fishing.
You were born to communicate, weren’t you? All you need is an approachable attitude, quiet confidence, good communication skills, a bit of organization and a dash of charisma. Now don’t tell me you play down your communication skills by self-labeling yourself as “shy?!” After all, “shy” people aren’t shy around people they like, trust and know to be honestly emotionally expressive. Anyway, here are effective ways to send the message to, “Talk to Me….Today:”
- A BIG, open smile is a welcome mat to good talk
- Sparkling eyes that dance and give energy away
- A “giver” attitude, not a “taker” or “DOFORME” diatribe
- Good eye contact…solid and serene
- RELAX…breathe…we’re all scared out of our wits and pretending not to be
- Don’t stare off into space, for crying out loud, by multi-tasking
- Let your mind empty…do you know how to listen with “three ears”
- Shake hands like you know no strangers…only people who are waiting to become your new friends
- Ask good questions…LISTEN as if you are able to walk in their moccasins
- Ask another good question to the answer you just received…be “multi-asking”
- Make a warm-hearted joke or jest that pokes fun at yourself
- Remember that good questions are more important than one-up, witty, repartee
- If you are one-upping or debating…stop IT before you lose a new friend
- Enjoy yourself…you’re not shy!
It’s not so hard to send out the positive vibes message that, “I like to talk to people…and that especially includes you. There’s no rush because I have all the time in the world to talk to you.” Let your charisma flow and your confidence show. Send the message to everyone you come into contact with that, “You’re very important to me. I will show you how important to me you are by listening intently and closely to you.”
There’s nothing to hide. You’re a winner. No one said you have to be perfect…just be the one-and-only “I’m good enough” you, that you were born to be. The world needs unique people who aren’t too afraid to be who they are. After all, you CAN seize the moment with the positive inner-skull talk, “I like who I am!”
One of my favorite books on overcoming shyness (Johnny Carson of The Tonight Show was ‘publicly shy’), is called “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie. It is chocked full of good communication tips for teenagers and adults, alike. Why can’t you make a pig talk, too? Eddie Murphy could talk to all sorts of animals in the movie, “Dr. DooLittle.” You can talk to anyone, too, including people who are too shy for their own good.
Dr. Dennis O’Grady taught “Overcoming Shyness” (using Dr. Philip Zimbardo’s research and book) and “Career Education” classes at Miami University of Ohio, and “Assertiveness Training” (using Dr. Bob Alberti’s and Dr. Emmons book “Your Perfect Right“) at Muskegon Community College in Muskegon, Michigan. His new and tested interpersonal communication theory, distinguishes Empathizers and Instigators communicator types from extroverted and introverted personality types to make change happen faster. One benefit of his training is that you will be able to talk to anyone…including your pets at home.