My ears get reamed every day and my brain screams when I hear some of these talk fillers from pedigreed people: “Um…y’know…um…I kinda’…like…don’t you think so…um…yeah…um…y’know…don’t you agree…ya’ know what I mean?!” Aarrh! Give my ears a break from all the word pollution and rigmarole!!
Getting down on tobacco smokers for second-hand smoke is all the rage…BUT what about people who accost your ears and senses with secondhand talk fillers, noise, static and all types of verbal pollution and gobbledy-gook? What about those noise-makers whose talk is about as calming as someone scraping their fingernails across a chalk board?
Do you think I want to be around your toxic clouds of pollution talk? Not on your talk couch, word whacker. Dr. Taibi Kahler, gifted thinker/writer/consultant for “Process Communication Management” put forth that there are five talkspeak “drivers,” or talk habits, that tell you how consciously and carefully a person is driving down the two-way communicator highway:
- Please Others (Me): Agreeing with people just to make them feel good, and getting others to agree with you to get them off your back, instead of giving differing opinions or negative feedback. Example: “Don’t you agree with me? Ya’ know what I mean?”
- Try Hard: Trying hard isn’t the same thing as doing what you say you want/will do. “I tried hard to…” is an excuse for laziness or inertia. This is the procrastinator’s gas-station hang out. Example: “Don’t be mad at me…I’m trying REALLY, really, really trying hard TO _____!”
- Hurry Up: Rushing around with your hair on fire but not being where you are NOW or getting where you need to GO. Example: “I’m running from pillar to post. I just DIDN’T have time! It’s not my fault…don’t feel despondent or dejected!”
- Be Strong: Stuffing feelings in the subconscious mind, thus permitting them to be covered up in the short term and come out sideways in negative behaviors over the long haul. Example: “I didn’t want to tell you what I was feeling because that would have upset you SO much so I just quietly went out and had an affair, instead of bothering you.” Hey, am I just joking here, dear reader?!
- Be Perfect: My personal favorite today gets you looking and sounding good but not getting much good done. Requires a speaker to say whatever you want to say JUST PURRfectly (perfectly)…or don’t bother saying anything useful at all. Example: “I’m not sure exactly…right this particular instantaneous instant second of time in the unfolding universe of time…IF this would be the right course of action for the right reason at the right time…SO I had better think about this more in-depth and study the issue more thoroughly and then get back to you because I don’t want to miss something really BIG and MAKE A BIG MISTAKE!”
Psychologist’s Life: Hey, I’m sick of people pokin’ a stick in my ear and calling it “good talk.” Give me some room to breathe, think and be of good cheer. Keep your talk pollution outside of my three ears…y’know what I mean?! And furthermore, my fondest talk polluter, do you even know that the word “rigmarole” that I used above actually means “confused, rambling, nonsensical, incoherent discourse?” HA…Gottcha’! Y’know what I mean?
So PLEASSSE…think about what you say before you light up some words that are going to make me choke. After all, IT’s up to you to protect the health of our talk planet and reduce “word pollution.” NOW don’t ya’ agree with me…I kinda’…um…like…y’know…y’know what I mean?!!
Dr. Dennis O’Grady offers Corporate Communications Coaching to Dayton-area privately-held entrepreneurial companies, and is the developer of a brand new communication theory showcased in “TALK TO ME: Communication moves to get along with anyone” due for release in June, 2006.