Talkin’ IT Out: “Say good-bye and why!”

What do you say when you’re ending a relationship and want to be honest about it? The importance of “completing the circle” of a relationship by saying “good-bye” is brought home by our next contributor.

We all do it. At some point in our lives, we say good-bye. But the one thing we don’t all do is say why.

Everybody ends a relationship in one way or another, but most generally we don’t tell the other person in the relationship why we are ending it. I think we should. I do most of the time. I may not just flat out tell you in exact words why, but I usually tell you.

I’ve had too many good-byes and not enough whys. After a relationship has ended in my past, I’ve spent a lot of time wondering why. Was it something I said? Was it something I did? Was it me at all? I don’t think it is fair to the person being left to not tell them why. That person has been a part of your life for some time, and they deserve to know why you are ending the relationship – even if it is you and not the other person that is or has the problem with the relationship.

A person deserves to know if they need to change something about himself/herself, or if it’s you that needs to do the changing by moving on. People with low self-esteem need to know that it is or isn’t them, because they often end up spending time and hard-earned money on therapy that they may not have to.

Of course, the good-bye and the why may hurt for a while, but we all live through it. It is just easier to know the why along with the good-bye. It makes everything easier to cope with…and allows you to then move on. Life is full of good-byes, whether they’re instigated by changes in location, changes in a person’s life or just a bad relationship. God puts people in our lives for different reasons and seasons. We all know that and we learn to deal with it. But make it easier the next time. Don’t just say good-bye. Tell them why, too.

Why Can’t We Talk? This is another effective way to send the message to, “Talk to Me….Today” brought to you by an anonymous positive communicator on…what to say when you’re ending a relationship and want to be honest about it.

Dr. Dennis O’Grady is a blogging psychologist, executive workshop leader and professional speaker and counselor with over 30 years of positive psychology experience. Dennis is the author of a revolutionary new tested communication theory found in TALK TO ME: Communication moves to get along with anyone.

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