How to keep your mouth shut when talking to a conniving snit of an ill-tempered communicator? A business-savvy Instigator communicator client, who specializes in appetite management systems, asked, “I want to walk away from here with a list of key words to keep myself under control…to keep my mouth shut. If I keep my mouth shut, I will be O.K. There are going to be more stressful times ahead. How do I use your TALK2ME© communication approach to keep my mouth shut?”
ARE YOU AN AVERAGE OR AN ABOVE AVERAGE COMMUNICATOR?
Now, that’s a dandy question for all Instigators who have those “out of mouth” experiences, and then they regret words spoken. “Can’t I take my words back?” they wonder. Nope. If you ever wished you could take your words back, chances are, you are Instigator communicator, feeling only of average communication skills. You perceive your counterparts, Empathizers, as being superior communicators. How can you control your actions so you don’t open mouth and insert foot?
TO HAVE TOTAL CONTROL OF YOUR COMMUNICATION
When to be assertive and when to just listen? My Instigator colleague pointedly answered that Million Dollar Communication question. Key thoughts to keep your cool when temperatures rise…
- Don’t be abrasive
- No bitter sarcasm; be polite
- No fuel to the fire of conflict
- Be assertive, not aggressive
- Keep control of yourself
- Don’t do anything rash
- If necessary, walk away when words fly
EASY SAYS IT: SENSIBLE THOUGHTS VS. PANICKED THINKING WHEN IN CONFLICT
The AA slogan, “Easy does it!” teaches not over-doing, while the T2M slogan, “Easy says it!” teaches not over-talking. Emotional fuel is added to the fire when you have a negative attitude. Emotions confuse facts. “I’m right…and let me tell you why!” arguments land you in a ditch. How do you NOT do something rash when someone is coming at you with opinions, not facts? Well…how? Walk the talk pointers listed above….
“Talk Doc” Dennis O’Grady is a clinical psychologist, speaker, and seminar leader and developer of the TALK2ME© system.