Guilt works in a twisted way. Those who should feel guilty often don’t give the possibility a second thought, and those who have nothing whatsoever to feel guilty about often get stuck in a tar baby of guilt. Guilt feels like a weight on your shoulders, a weight that drags you down to drown in ill-advised actions and keeps you at arm’s length from enjoying your life.
Guilt bombers are people who shamelessly push to get their way at your expense. They are shame advocates of: “I can get what I want by making you feel guilty!” Guilt bombers succeed at what they do because tossing guilt bombs at others work very well to make you comply, make you easy to manipulate, and make you say “yes” when you want to say “no.”
Guilt on the interpersonal stage causes lashing out, bickering about money, unfair fights, downer moods and relationship plights. Guilt and shame scenarios make the very people who positively love us run off and hide. Guilt bombing zaps the energy from true love and inhibits intimate sex. Ah, how we clutch unto an anchor of guilt and sputter while we drown.
You don’t deserve to let guilt blow up your self-esteem or weigh you down, because doing so can make you depressed…or depressing to be around.
Dayton communications psychologist, Dr. Dennis O’Grady, has some help with tips for us all who want to improve our communication skills and become more approachable. He promotes positive relationship moves to stop being manipulated by guilt trippers and let go of unearned guilt and shame. Dr. O’Grady has a new psychology book aimed at better communicating, “Talk to Me: Communication Moves to Get Along with Anyone,” available on his Web site for $39.95.