Can you talk at work? Because I’ve been a communications consultant for so long, maybe I’m nuts about executive coaching and positive communications training in the workplace. BUT I think teamwork is solidified by talking openly about the good, the bad and the ugly without casting stones of blame at esteemed co-workers.
SO YA’ REALLY WANT TO KNOW WHAT’S THE TRUST LEVEL LIKE IN YOUR WORKPLACE?
As an alternative, what types of questions would I suggest you ask as a leader or manager to review satisfaction among the troops? My retort to leaders: Do you really want to know what your co-workers can’t talk openly to you about for fear of reprisal if they speak up honestly? So ya’ really want to know what’s the trust level like in your workplace—low, high or medium? Hey, why not…I’m with you!
WHY CAN’T WE TALK AT WORK?
The “directive questions” below (if you have the nerve to ask them) reveal what truly needs to change in order to do an even BETTER job of serving our customers’ needs and surviving and thriving as a department and company. Do you dare ask them of yourself, and your fellow workers, today?
1. Ask sincere feedback questions that work at work, such as: “So, how’s it been goin’?” Then listen open-mindedly to the answer.
2. Ask the often overlooked or unasked questions that work at work, such as: “So, what can I do to make your life go easier (better) today?” Then implement the answer in a little way today.
3. Ask “big picture”-focused questions that solicit feedback, such as: “Overall, if you use a grade card for my communication style…what grade would you give me? An A, B, C, D, F…or an “I” for incomplete? Be honest!”
4. Ask for energy questions that work at work to measure emotional satisfaction, such as: “Do I act as if I enjoy working with you and enjoy being around you? Or do you feel like a fixture around here, like a lamp or a table?”
5. Ask motivational questions that work at work, such as: “Do you feel I constantly critique you or make unfair negative comments about your work habits? Or do I make you feel about as unspecial as a hood ornament on a car?”
6. Ask bold questions that work at work, such as: “How free do you feel to initiate dialogue with me at any time about anything?”
7. Ask feedback-focused questions about ‘how full our glass is,’ such as: “Give me some feedback about my attitude. Do I send the message that I’m an optimist, or a pessimist or pretty neutral?”
8. Ask employee-evaluation feedback questions that work at work, such as: “How’s your attitude been lately? Do you see yourself as an optimist or a pessimist or a neutral person around here?”
9. Ask humble feedback questions that work at work, such as: “Are you able to speak openly to me and not hold anything back without fear of being put off or put down?”
10. Ask for change-focused feedback that work at work, such as: “What ONE thing could I do around here that would make your work life and effectiveness better?”
11. Ask for positive feedback about what you’re doing well that work at work, such as: “In what ways do I help you accomplish your goals by what I say or do?”
12. Ask directive questions that work at work, such as: “In what ways do I boost your confidence levels by what I say or do? How could I do better by you?”
13. Ask for groans that work at work, such as: “In what ways is your self-esteem balloon popped by what others are saying or doing?”
14. Ask for gripes that work at work, such as: “What one thing would YOU change around here if you had the power to change anything?”
15. Ask for improving your effectiveness that work at work, such as: “What ONE THING could I facilitate that would make everything go better around here?”
16. Ask for critiques in your listening skills that work at work, such as: “Do I listen to you without interrupting? Or do I turn a deaf ear to your complaints, or put you down when you have a complaint about me?”
17. Ask for critiques about your interpersonal sensitivity skills that work at work, by asking: “Do I need to be hit by a solid two-by-four between the eyes to wake up and smell the coffee and change? Or do I act dumb and fail to get the message that you’re trying to send to me?”
18. Ask for critical feedback that works at work, such as: “Do I let you know how important you are around here or do I make you feel that you are making a mountain out of a mole hill?”
DO YOU HAVE THE NERVE OR GUTS TO ASK FOR FEEDBACK AND HEAR THE TRUTH?
Of course you can hear the truth, and use it to solve problems and become better at what you do best. Of course, no one likes conflict or to hear negative news, and asking for feedback does result in a combination of both the good and the bad and the surprising. Got caring? Then at least ask:
1. “HEY, HOW’S IT GOIN’?” (Then listen to the under 500 word answer.)
2. “SO, WHAT CAN I DO TO MAKE YOUR LIFE GO EASIER (BETTER) TODAY?” (And then try to do one of the suggestions in a little way.)
Hey, so how’s it goin’? Do you have the nerve to ask for, or give, positive and negative feedback? Of course you do. You and your team can quickly change a group dynamic of intimidation, complacency or mistrust by talking openly and non-defensively for a change!
OFF WE GO WITH THE BLAME GAME?
Do people in your work area feel too intimidated to talk openly and honestly and share their wisdom about how to make things run better for everyone? There’s only one way to tell: Ask one of the feedback questions per day for the next couple of weeks; then listen OPENLY to the answers as if they are the gosh-honest truth. (Be aware that it may take a week for esteemed workers to really believe that you are REALLY asking their opinion, since doing so is so rare in the workplace today)!
ASKING FOR NEGATIVE AND POSITIVE FEEDBACK IMPROVES Y/OUR PERFORMANCE
“What goes around comes around” if you don’t have the time or take time to ask for honest feedback to improve performance. If you don’t ask for honesty on a regular basis, and reward it, THEN the trust factor among team members is weak and too splintered. If you can’t talk about anything…how can you be effective at anything…and doesn’t that just leave “water cooler complaining or gossip” as the only de-stressing outlet?
IS YOUR TEAM PADDLING THE COMPANY CANOE IN THE SAME DIRECTION?
In another “seriously fun” article, I used canoeing as a simple and rich metaphor for effective teamwork vs. ineffective teamwork. In short, how can your team get to where you all need to go if the direction is unknown or feedback results unmeasured? Moreover, how can you all paddle successfully in the same direction, IF you can’t talk about which direction you ought to go in? Simple answer…you can’t because you will later or sooner get trapped in a whirlpool and hit the rocks and capsize and come up sputtering, wet and frustrated.
Dr. Dennis O’Grady provides executive coaching and professional training in Dayton, Ohio, and surrounding areas. Dennis is the author of “Talk to Me: Communication Moves to Get Along with Anyone.” In this inspiring new communication program and leadership training workshop, you will learn the crucial differences between Empathizer-type communicators and Instigator-type communicators. Chances are the person you struggle with the most, and whom you think of as a “difficult person,” is in reality your opposite communicator who is comfortable with what you are uncomfortable with. In the case above, Empathizers “freeze up” and are reluctant to give helpful negative feedback while Instigators feel free to “let it rip” and speak their minds. You can “test your type” and receive a free communicator type feedback report by clicking on the link “What’s Your Communicator Type.” If you believe you are a “good communicator” then ask the two questions above to a co-worker…and listen open-mindedly to the answers. You at least will be able to tell the level of trust your co-communicator is experiencing with you.