Management consultants, executive coaches and human resource specialists are all hired to keep employee satisfaction high and poor communication low. One assumption in workplace psychology is that those of us who are in positive partnerships are better able to shrug off rejections and stressful assignments while keeping our attitudes positive, and all of that combines to improve overall work performance.
But is this line of reasoning true, and how many of us are coming to work with the “sunburn” of stressful family relationships? Well, I figured the first order of business was to find out how many of us are just passing or failing the relationship grade in our romantic relationships. In short, does the grade you give your romantic relationship spill over at work?
WHAT GRADE DO YOU ASSIGN YOUR ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP AT WORK?
The questions that this New Insights Communication poll asked was: “What grade do you assign your romantic relationship?” Implied was “How stress-free is your partnership?” and does it support or undermine your concentration and effectiveness at work? Here are the results that tell a story.
The grade I assign my romantic relationship is:
“A” Excellent…6.45%
“B” Good…32.26%
“C” Average…22.58%
“D” Poor…25.81%
“F” Failing…12.90%
GROUP TENSIONS AND THE CORPORATE COMMUNICATION CULTURE FLOW AT WORK AND AT HOME
Well, there is some tension in our home partnerships. Well over half of the “guaranteed confidentiality” responders report that things are only “average or poor to failing” on the home front. Which means that today, about every other person you sit down to do business with is experiencing pretty significant stress at home, stress that may de-motivate them or negatively impact their focus and energy at work. And only a teeny tiny few of us team members are feeling “excellent” about conditions in our romantic relationships!
BLAME YOUR PARTNER FOR LOW MOTIVATION AND WORK PERFORMANCE OR IMPAIRED PERSONAL INITIATIVE?
Psychologists have long found that personal and personality maturity directly effects job performance, while a negative attitude and bad mood can affect quality of performance, task accomplishment and accuracy and miscommunication about decisions and planned directions. Should we blame our partner, or a stressful partnership or marriage, on our limiting work performance or mistakes made? No, I don’t think so.
Mature communicators will let you know when the stress ovens are burning too hot at home, without being a “poor me crybaby” about it so a co-worker can adjust their expectations for short periods.
WHY NOT FOCUS YOUR MIND AT WORK WHEN THINGS AREN’T GOING SO HOT AT HOME?
Lastly, work stress can flow back home along a “pipeline of stress” and cause for some heated disagreements, making “waves,” withdrawing into quietness or going to the inner-personal “cave,” as Dr. John Gray has written about. In any case, I would recommend that you focus more on work to feel good about something when you aren’t feeling so good about what is (or isn’t) happening in your romantic relationship.
Come to think of it, you deserve to be a giant success in all of your communication worlds that include work, family, extended family, friendships and romantic loving relationships. Why not score points at home…and at work?! It can be a “delicious” cycle.
Dr. Dennis O’Grady provides executive coaching and professional training in Ohio and surrounding states. Dennis is the author of “Talk to Me: Communication Moves to Get Along with Anyone” which is available in the resource store at his Web site www.drogrady.com. Dr. O’Grady leads workshops, and provides business consulting, about two new communicator types called Empathizers and Instigators. One example of a talk difference between the two is that Empathizer-type communicators have a high need for interpersonal security, while Instigator-type communicators have a high need for interpersonal power. Knowing who you’re talking to in the workplace by communicator type and temperament, makes all the difference in the “mood” in your workplace and the “effectiveness” of your management team.
Previous New Insights Communication Polls have included “What’s Up With Your Confidence Level?“… “When You Argue, Are You Always Right?” … “Are You Shy or Stuck Up?”… “How Do You Handle Anger?”…“Are Men or Women Better Communicators?” “How Easily Are You Frustrated?” Read more about the challenge of leadership, and other topics about executive coaching, business consulting, leadership training and communication skills here four minutes every day of the week to make change happen fast and last.