I tell my youngest daughter Kasey (and myself) when she gets all funky and grumpy: “Change your attitude!” And when she goes off on an inappropriate conversational tangent, I say: “Change the subject!”
PUMP UP YOUR ENERGY
That kind of thinking is both helpful and a comic relief when my last nerve has been ripped from my brain and my immortal patience stripped from my soul. BUT how do you pump up your energy when your attitude has been flattened by stress or stressful people or relationships at home or work?
CHANGE THE SUBJECT
You TOO can be as happy as a clam at high tide when you apply positive communication tools and principles FOUR minutes each day. That’s right…four minutes, five times a week. Can you afford four minutes to improve your confidence? You can’t afford not to.
PUMPING UP YOUR ENERGY WHEN YOUR ATTITUDE HAS BEEN FLATTENED BY STRESS
BUT here’s the catch: You actually have to use and apply these change communication principles…so look at people and SMILE sincerely at them as you:
1. “It’s not what people call you BUT what you answer to!”
What’s the point? Talk to the mirror of your mind. Disallow anyone from making up your mind or otherwise doing your thinking for you. Talk about your true thoughts, instead of allowing others’ rhetorical bullying or ill-fitting opinions to unduly influence you.2. Change your “to do” list to a DO(NE) one.
What’s the point? Perfectionist-focused procrastinators make a “to do list” that just statically sits around waiting to be done. Prime your mind by using a DO(NE) list that makes you accountable for what you have/haven’t done.3. Give yourself a WOW.
What’s the point? Give yourself a bow and a WOW (Words of Wisdom) by actively using everyday, common sense words of wisdom to change your life as you go about co-creating your day. For example, “Nobody’s perfect.” “It’s not who’s at fault that fixes a problem but WHAT new thing we can do that works.” “I can’t afford to give you a piece of my mind.” Or, “IF you drive me up a wall I WILL find a way(s) to climb back down again!”4. Get a grip on griping.
What’s the point? Get a grip on grousing and griping about why others drive you up a wall. Instead, send a point-by-point email to yourself that lays out what goals you would like to achieve and the timelines you have. Others’ procrastination can’t drive you up a wall unless you allow it to.5. Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can put into today.
What’s the point? Forget waiting…forget waiting for magic…forget waiting for miracles…forget waiting until your stars align just right. Wait no longer. DO something different today by being a student of effective communication. Imagine changing a little thing in your routine, such as parking in a new parking spot at work for a month without fail.6. Free up time for a four-minute attitude adjustment.
What’s the point? “There’s nothing I can do about IT!” busts your attitude down to its bootstraps. By taking just four minutes a day to read something positive, you can pump up your mind with encouragers instead of feeling as flat as a pancake or as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rockers.7. Talk some sense to yourself.
What’s the point? The blame and shame game forces you to talk to yourself in limiting ways about who’s to blame for what and what you would REALLY like to say to an offender to even the score. By focusing on what you’re NOT getting and who’s to blame for it, you stay stuck in a rut spinning your tires getting nowhere fast by focusing your energy on loss.8. Pop the BIG question.
What’s the point? Big isn’t better. In fact, all large accomplishments are made in a series of small steps taken in a timely manner. You want BIG? Pop the BIG question, and mull over in your mind: “What one small thing for a lifetime would I like to be known for?”9. Go the extra (S)MILE.
What’s the point? Going the “extra mile” for a customer or lover endears you to others. Moreover, when you feel bad but go the extra (S)MILE you will uplift your mood to reach your goals.10. Change the subject (focus) of your attitude to alter your mood.
What’s the point? If your inner chatter agitates you…then say out loud: Change the subject! Why focus on who’s to blame or what’s not working instead of WHAT will fix the problem? And why make things worse when your mood sucks pears by playing the greatest hits of anger or worry?
WHAT TO DO WHEN STRESS EVENTS NIP AT THE HEELS OF YOUR SELF-ESTEEM
You may not have much control over stress events that nip at the heels of your self-esteem, but you CAN pump up an attitude that has been flattened by stress, simply by using these simple and easy “talk sense to change yourself” strategies that are in the “Talk to Me” house. You have a lot more to say about your attitude during the day than does a passerby.
Here’s the catch point: Do you treat yourself to the kindnesses you expect others to treat you to? Well, why muck up your attitude and make things worse when your mood sucks pears?
Dennis O’Grady is founder of New Insights Communications and a professional psychologist who understands that the best kind of talking, counseling and therapy is the kind that establishes good communications skills and focuses on change….change for the better, change for the future, change that helps the world go forward instead of spinning and spinning in place.
Dr. Dennis O’Grady provides executive coaching and professional development training in Ohio and surrounding states. Dennis is the author of “Talk to Me: Communication Moves to Get Along with Anyone” which is a leadership training and positive relationship workbook.