FLAP YOUR LIPS?
Has your happiness taken a hike? Do relationship resentments create a great divide between you and your talk partner? The emotional rule: As your frustration goes up, your happiness goes down like a lead Zeppelin crashing to the ground. When you feel pushed away or rejected in a relationship, you will feel mad. When you feel angry, you won’t feel happy. So what can you do about it?
TALKED OVER LEADS TO TICKED OFF
When you are talked over and not listened to, you will feel ticked off. And when you are too hard on yourself about any of the above, you will naturally feel depressed. It’s pretty hard to feel happy when your partner is stomping on your foot and saying: “I’m SO sorry…NOT.” When the same frustrating things keep happening over and over and over again, you might get hooked into putting your positive energy into a black hole.
PUT A NAIL UNDER YOUR TIRE TO CREATE A FLAT MOOD
To get your happy back…you’ve got to assertively confront anyone who is pushing you over the cliff of the talk canyon by “talking over” you. That is the same as having a nail or screw stuck in your tire, which creates a flat mood. Other ways poor communicators chase people off who want to love them:
1. Make life as hard as possible. Turn even the easiest task into a labor of frustration, and you’ll have people on their knees eating out of your hand begging you to quit.
2. Be a crappy communicator. Blame other people for what you’re going to continue to do, even if it doesn’t work, because no one can tell you what to do.
3. Don’t feel good enough in your own skin. Pretend to be consumed about what other people think and say, instead of feeling good about how you treat others who butter your bread.
4. Be a relationship hiccup. Don’t truly invest your time and energy into inventing a caring relationship that is genuine and emotionally rewarding…just say you are.
5. Flap your lips. Make others around you lack confidence by hypnotizing them to forget the fact that they are a privilege to be with, work alongside and know.
6. Be a control freak. Try to control everyone and everything under the sun as if you’re the One.
7. Drone on and on and on that “IT won’t work because…!” I hope you feel safe and protected surrounding yourself with “the wall of a pessimist.” Whoops…you won’t enjoy the good side of life, either.
8. Deploy passive-aggressive paybacks. When people don’t do what you say they should, drop guilt bombs on the rebels, to teach everyone the lesson that you rule all.
9. Sing a victim song. When you don’t get your way…cry and wail until sane people bail.
10. Live by the unholy rule, “What’s the problem with your idea is….!” Just hammer people with the negative idea that what they want won’t work out.
11. Keep people guessing. Make people wonder and guess when you will show up and whether or not you will keep your word this time out.
12. Drive people away by driving them nuts or up a wall. Drive people away by “talking over them” and then cry alligator tears when everyone who’s anyone takes their leave from you.
13. Fake it until you don’t make it. Be a pretender, seller of a story line and perception maker instead of people appreciator.
14. Be a people possessor. Think of people as play things and just toys. That ought to make loving people feel ashamed and no good so they will saddle right up to you.
15. Push people over a cliff, then mourn the loss pathetically. Perhaps you have better things to do with your life than push…push…PUSH people over the ledge and pretend they jumped.
Making yourself unhappy is most easily accomplished by squelching your true self when you are “talked over.”
GET YOUR HAPPY BACK
Get your happy back. Get “all gone” when people play with your happiness by talking over you to shut you up.
ABOUT YOUR COMMUNICATOR TYPE AND DR. DENNIS O’GRADY
Dr. Dennis O’Grady is a clinical psychologist, keynote speaker and originator of the “Talk to Me” communication system which is guaranteed “to get your happy back” when you care to use it to move on down the communication highway. When you drive your communicator car, you will be driving either a blue Empathizer car or a burnt orange Instigator car. Have you received your free communicator report? Although the rules of the road are the same for both types of communicator drivers, each type prefers their select talk lanes to travel in. Cross abruptly into the opposite talk lane, and you will hear honking horns and screeching tires, and see some non-verbal hand gestures that indicate driver Emotional I.Q.