If you’re on the front line of customer service, then chances are you are an Empathizer-type (E-type) communicator who wants everyone to just get along and be happy. Likewise, chances are that your irate customer is an Instigator-type (an I-type) communicator who believes that there is a “right and good” vs. a “wrong and bad” way to handle customer complaints. These fanciful ideas don’t always work so well in the real world of customer relations and imperfect business systems.
WHY THE CUSTOMER ISN’T ALWAYS RIGHT
Although the platitude chanted is “The customer is always right!”…you and I both know that angry customers dump gunk on any passerby, especially one who is paid to listen to their complaint. Most frequently used excuse to vent is this one: “I’ve got to get this off my chest!” You don’t have to pick up the insecurity and fear of an irate customer. You don’t have to wear those negative feelings around your neck like an Albatross the rest of your day. A dead bird you ain’t!
HOW TO KEEP YOUR COOL DURING HEATED DEBATES
How to talk to an I-type communicator who is upset and venting? It’s not too difficult, but what to say that works often runs counter-logical to what you E-types “feel” will help. Imagine saying these things to an irate customer. What will be the comeback, do you suppose?
1. OUR INTENTION IS TO MAKE EVERY CUSTOMER HAPPY, AND THAT INCLUDES YOU.
2. WE DIDN’T MEAN TO HURT YOUR FEELINGS.
3. I’M SURE YOU’RE RIGHT.
4. THIS SEEMS VERY BAD, BUT IT WILL GET BETTER.
5. WHO CAN BLAME YOU?
6. TALKING LOUD AND SHOUTING ONLY MAKES THINGS WORSE.
7. UNLOADING ON ME WON’T RESOLVE THIS.
8. PERHAPS YOU’RE RIGHT BUT YOU’RE WRONG TO TAKE OUT YOUR FRUSTRATIONS ON ME.
9. I DON’T WANT YOU TO KEEP EMBARRASSING YOURSELF.
10. DON’T FEEL AFRAID THAT THIS CAN’T BE FIXED.
11. IF YOU CAN CALM DOWN, WE CAN GET TO THE TRUTH OF THIS.
Being upset isn’t a viable excuse to be a pest. “I’m sure you’re right!” takes the hot air out of the ego balloon of an irate customer. “You know misery loves company!” is not the kind of company you wish to keep, is it?
I HATE CONFLICT SO I AVOID IT
What do you think? The implied message is “Temper tantrums don’t work around here.” Problems can be more easily solved when anger isn’t allowed to lead the talk parade.
I AM NOT AFRAID OF YOU…OR YOUR UNHELPFUL ANGER
All of these transactions send the implied message that “I’m not going to be controlled by your blustery anger…I am not afraid of you or your manipulative anger. Calm down, this issue doesn’t have to be a major psychodrama. Of course, the irate customer will defend him- or herself but something more productive and positive and peaceful is likely to happen.
THIS IS HOW IT IS: ABOUT COMMUNICATIONS EXPERT, PSYCHOLOGIST, AND KEYNOTE SPEAKER AND BUSINESS TRAINER DR. DENNIS O’GRADY
Dr. Dennis O’Grady is the author of “Talk to Me: Communication Moves To Get Along With Anyone.” O’Grady’s new communication system will show you how to talk in the language of your partner, child or business customer to create win-win problem-solving communication strategies. O’Grady teaches there are two communicator types called Empathizers and Instigators; who drive in the four talk lanes of Emotions, Beliefs, Behaviors and Talks. The reason there is so much miscommunication and frustration going on, isn’t because other people are so dad-blasted difficult who want to drive you insane, but because the two types of communicators haven’t been known until this point in our history and accounted for in our relationships. “A Beginner’s Guide to Communication” is available to study on Dr. O’Grady’s CommTools blog, while his entire advanced communication system is available only in his “Talk to Me” book and seminars. “Talk to Me: Communication Moves To Get Along With Anyone” is now available at Amazon. You can talk personally to Dr. O’Grady at his Web site, too.