Empathizer communicators or E-types are too calm for their own good…long, long fuses burn before they blow. Instigator communicators or I-types really try to stay calm and cool, but as a whole, they are an impatient group who expect most things to get done efficiently and effectively. E-types can feel down and blue for too long, while I-types can feel irritated and frustrated too often.
A BAD MOOD HAD BY ALL
This is how I see it: Your mood is the amount of gasoline you have in your communicator car. A bad mood makes you drive around town running on empty. “I stew about it!” is true of the Empathizer viewpoint while “I have a really short fuse!” is true of Instigators.
Thus, I-types are often frustrated by glitches beyond their control, as the vulture of impatience picks at their bones and serenity. “Are you mad at me?” is often a relationship check-in to find out “Did I do something that bothers you?” Both E- and I-types dislike stirring the relationship pot or messing with the status quo. “Change” is your middle name.
ARE YOU MAD LIKE ME…ARE ALL COMMUNICATORS CUT FROM THE SAME CLOTH?
A new world opens up, as if you’re looking through a telescope (or microscope) for the first time when you learn what makes Empathizer communicators tick and makes Instigator communicators ticked off. No problem, Snoopy.
INSTIGATOR TALK
Know this about your tough-skinned Instigator co-communicator who doesn’t much feel like talking to you “too sensitive” E-types:
- I-types don’t talk to try and control their feelings
- I-types believe feelings spell trouble for good relationships
- I-types thus can come across as cold and unfeeling
- I-types talk negatively in bombastic in rigid ways when they feel afraid
- I-types pick at your good character or motives (speak inaccurately) when they feel insecure
- I-types Achilles Heel is feeling out of control of their emotions
- I-types energy is commanding and confident when they feel weak or small
- I-types blurt out private thoughts that they don’t mean for public consumption
EMPATHIZER TALK
Let’s be fair. Know this about your thin-skinned Empathizer co-communicator who always feels like talking to you “too insensitive” I-types:
- E-types prefer to talk about their feelings to control them
- E-types believe avoidance of feelings spell trouble for good relationships
- E-types thus can come across as hot and extra-feeling or “too moody”
- E-types criticize themselves in compulsive ways when they feel afraid
- E-types back off and don’t speak up (speak inaccurately) when they feel insecure
- E-types Achilles Heel is feeling out of control of their thinking
- E-types energy is dimmed and low self-esteem reigns when they feel weak or small
- E-types sit on private thoughts that are meant for public consumption
Both Empathizers and Instigators can have an “inferiority complex” about their communicator type. It’s going to get a whole bunch better when you adopt the strengths of your opposing communicator type, by understanding their viewpoint about which communication modes work best in their world of communication.
THIS IS HOW IT IS: A LITTLE BIT ABOUT PROFESSIONAL SPEAKER, COMMUNICATIONS WORKSHOP LEADER AND MARRIAGE COUNSELOR DR. DENNIS O’GRADY
The reason there is so much miscommunication and frustration going on, isn’t because other people are so ornery and dad-blasted difficult who want to drive you nuts, but because the two types of communicators haven’t been known until this point in our cultural history and accounted for in our relationships. Did you have a relationship communication class in high school, on par with the amount of time you spent in driver’s ed classes learning how to drive correctly? Of course not. Dr. Dennis O’Grady is the author and originator of the new communication system called “Talk To Me: Communication Moves To Get Along With Anyone.” O’Grady teaches there are two communicator types called Empathizers and Instigators; who drive in the four talk lanes of Emotions, Beliefs, Behaviors and Talks. “Talk to Me” is available for purchase at this website and at Amazon.