A bad boss creates very negative outcomes in the world in which he or she lives and works. In my powerful new communication system, 75% of leaders are Instigator-type communicators, or I-types. A good leader is a good communicator who improves steadily and readily every day. Although only 16% of bosses are “bad drivers” on the “two-way communication highway”…a bad boss can wear you down and make you frown and sow dissension and fraction in the team car and drive away your best people.
BAD BOSS, BAD BOSS, WHAT YA’ GOIN’ TO DO?
How to know when a beast of a boss stresses you, besets your self-esteem and wears you down until the light of your soul is dimmed:
1. Boyish or girlish charm. The bad boss can grin from ear-to-ear, and appear sort of funny and non-threatening at first.
2. Speaks strongly. The bad boss sounds super-confident and all-knowing, including the bad things that will befall you if you don’t go along with the program and toe the party line.
3. Loved or hated. The bad boss causes frictions and fractions that divide fellow workers who either extremely love and worship…or hate and revile the bad boss.
4. Takes credit where credit isn’t due. The bad boss is the first to imply that it was something he or she did or said that brought about the positive outcome by working cooperatively with people from all walks of life.
5. Shifts blame. The bad boss will glibly say “I’m responsible for…” but will also imply in the same breath that “I couldn’t help it!”
6. Speaks in platitudes. The bad boss will have you salute what isn’t working by bringing up “what’s right and what’s wrong” and “what’s good for the company and what’s a threat to the company.” Platitudes don’t allow talk latitude.
7. Plays favorites. The bad boss dispenses rewards to those who salute the status quo, and permits blame to be shifted to others.
8. Messes up. The bad boss creates very extremely negative outcomes, such as bringing down the company, couple, family, business, church, organization or making them go ’round and ’round from one crisis to the next battle.
9. Doesn’t like change. The bad boss will change a little bit when the heat is on or feeling pressured, then change right back to the way things were.
10. A “do more!” of what isn’t working approach. The bad boss will do more (escalate) of what’s not working in the first place. If over-spending is the problem, he or she will spend more. If talking down to others is the problem, he or she will belittle and argue more when not spied upon.
TRAITS OF THE GOOD BOSS
I-type leaders often tell me: “I only wish I had known about this communication approach sooner to keep lines of communication open. I’ve used my powers to create situations without recognizing what was going on. Now, I’m mindful and aware that I will create results either negative or positive if I don’t stay aware of the talk lanes I’m driving in.”
A good boss is effective and ethical and doesn’t change the rules of the game as he or she goes along. A good boss is a good communicator of honesty, effective listening skills that show respect for all people and problem-solving skills that benefit everyone.
“IF I WERE YOU I’D….”
A bad boss is perfectly comfortable thinking that they know how to run your life. Who knows, perhaps they do. However, your frustration is caused by a bad boss who also likes to hear him- or herself talk, browbeats others, always thinks he or she is “right,” kisses up to superiors while talking down to subordinates. And you know you’re right, don’t you? Colleagues or kids will tell you a bad boss (mate, teacher, supervisor, etc.) has a “You’re bad and I’m better!” attitude, makes empty promises, makes you feel stupid, moves things forward into the next hole, are pot stirrers, negaholics, and debaters to a fault.
CORRALLING THE BAD BOSS
So what can you tell yourself or do when you’re energy is being drained by a bad boss with the help of a big straw stuck in your skull? Well, you can “talk back” in your head using the “Talk to Me” communication system by using these sort of punchy attitudes:
- “Good results are the all of everything!”
- “I dare to care but I won’t be taken advantage of!”
- “You can hang yourself, but I don’t have to hang with you!”
- “That’s a road I don’t want to go on with you!”
- “I don’t have to eat the manure sandwich you hand me!”
- “I’m not a control freak but a peace freak who contributes!”
- “Middle-of-the-road works better than going to extremes!”
- “I don’t suffer from my own knee jerk, me-jerk reactions!”
- “Perhaps the best decision for me is to stay away from you!”
YOU CAN HANG YOURSELF…BUT I DON’T HAVE TO HANG WITH YOU
You may have a “lemon” for a boss, and with any luck, you won’t have one for too long. In any case, most of us have “difficult people” in our life who are teaching us tough life choices and touchy life lessons. Bottom line: You get to choose the road you wish to drive your communicator car down. Choose your road carefully because some communication trips are more enjoyable than others. So make your life your full-time job, today!
ABOUT DAYTON, OHIO, COMMUNICATIONS PSYCHOLOGIST AND KEYNOTE SPEAKER DR. DENNIS O’GRADY
Dr. Dennis O’Grady recommends that you choose your road traveled carefully because some communication trips are more enjoyable to go on than others. O’Grady shows you how the two types of communicators, Empathizers and Instigators, have completely different views of what makes the world go ’round or stop spinning altogether. As a custom, Empathizers don’t take “the easy way” … because E-types are prone to making life too hard for themselves now and then. In contrast, the Instigators aren’t accustomed to taking “the hard way” because I-types are prone to making life too easy for themselves now and then. Either way, positive and effective communication supports you in making decisions that move you down the roads you will find most pleasing to you at any given time in your life. Dr. O’Grady is a professional keynote speaker and seminar leader, and author of “Talk to Me: Communication Moves To Get Along With Anyone” available at this site and Amazon now.