Do you have a jerk for a husband? Do you have a crummy wife who is a jerkette? Have you lost your freedom a little at a time by the constant scolding from a negative backseat driver who has plenty of opinions about how to drive your communicator car better? Did you lose your happy a long time ago, and is it now strewn along the miscommunication highway like trash? If so, I don’t mean to be mean, but you may have a grumpy husband or a crummy wife riding on the passenger side of your life. Perhaps it’s time to look at your life map again and choose a new direction, instead of stare into the rearview mirror of your life and feel filled with regrets.
LOOK WHO’S TALKING: SCRAPPY VS. CRAPPY COMMUNICATORS
“Crappy communicators” are dishonest; they snap back reflexively or bark orders and advice at you to drive as they do. “Assertive communicators” hone their communication points into sharp laser points to light up the path ahead at night. “Scrappy communicators” are those of us who have learned to stand up for the truth and talk back without getting even, which puts you behind. Which one are you? Are you a scrappy communicator or a crappy communicator?
DO YOU HAVE A JERK FOR A HUSBAND OR A JERKETTE FOR A WIFE?
Let’s not cast stones of blame. The goal of this exercise is to look into a pond of illumination so that YOU can figure out where you’re going and with whom. Here are the negative traits of a demeaning husband or a mean wife of any gender condition:
1. Tries to tick you off and hurt you on purpose. A jerk punishes you when you push back and say “no way, Jose…but will decry and deny this truth ’till the cows come home.
2. Thinks it’s your responsibility to fix things. A jerk considers you an employee, one whose job it is to make a jerk’s life easier living. You’ll know if you constantly feel as if you’re working too hard to fix everything.
3. Always knows best (just ask him or her!). Exhibits “Perfect is, as I do!” rhetoric, since the jerker is privy to the right way to do things and VERY proud to tell you all about it.
5. Is into heavy-duty debating. A jerk wants to make all the decisions, while deluding you into thinking you actually made a choice.
6. Makes you feel brainwashed again. A jerk is lots of fun one-on-one – until there’s work to be done. If you can’t get a grip on griping, you will hear: “It’ll be fine. It’ll be perfect. You’re making a bigger deal out of this than it is, so give me a chance to prove it to you.”
7. Is a (Con)niving convincer and smiling liar. A jerk “had me convinced that I was the problem because I wasn’t happy, when in fact, I wasn’t happy because I was stuck in a relationship with that jerk!”
8. “I don’t believe it!” A jerk is a fake and a phony, a sick and twisted insecure liar of the slickest and trickiest kind. Maybe that was too intense! What you see in public is not what you get in private from the OCD or passive-aggressive trickster.
9. Grumpy husbands and crummy wives desperately need lives, too. A jerk is one because he or she isn’t dealing with the emotions of freedom, compassion, vulnerability, coldness.
BIG TALKER AVENUE
Are you a scrappy communicator or a crappy communicator? Well, truth is you can’t live on both sides of the Honesty Communication Street vs. Lying Like A Bad Rug Big Talker Avenue. Crummy husbands, crappy wives serve you a manure sandwich that slowly poisons your life.
PSYCHOANALZYE THAT JERK OR JERKETTE BEFORE HE OR SHE GETS AWAY
Missed communication is con-artistry that will make you scratch your head and try to figure the jerk out (which in and of itself would be a full-time psychologist’s occupation without pay). Have you seen your brain lately on Jerk? It’s not a pretty sight.
ABOUT THE DOCTOR OF COMMUNICATIONS PSYCHOLOGY DENNIS O’GRADY WHO HAILS FROM THE INVENTION CAPITOL OF THE WORLD DAYTON, OHIO, USA
Demeaning husbands or mean wives are simply no fun in relationship heartland. You can snap and fly off the handle at the drop of a glass. Whether your glass is half-full or half-empty doesn’t matter, not when your broken glass is strewn across your floor in pieces. Love is like that: a fragile crystal vase that can hold so much as look as it remains intact. Jerks get off on jerking you around by the cheek or collar, much like a goat on a rope. When you comply, you are “loved”; but when you don’t comply, you aren’t liked or loved and you’re often told you’re in desperate need of psychotherapy. Jerks can turn a “sweetheart and a half” into a “sourhead twice over.” Call the emotional teacher (the one who reaches inside your chest and pulls out your lungs) by whatever name you will: Evil, mean-spirited, nasty, shaming, demeaning, annoying, difficult, rude and disrespectful, immature, displeasing, a jerk or jerkette, are “the most annoying piece of crap I know!” Any way you slice the manure sandwich, you’ve got to stop letting the jerks, jerk you around and bring you down. The reasons behind these logical feelings can be found in Dr. Dennis O’Grady’s third book called “Talk to Me: Communication Moves To Get Along With (Almost) Anyone.”