Are you in a world of talk or a world of hurt or frustration? Either you’re in the business of better communication or you’re not in business at all, y’all. For example, what do you feel is the missing key to unlock a closed or locked door of communication? And, how could you improve your communication skills today that will pay dividends in your career tomorrow? Actually, those were the very questions I recently asked to workshop audience members made up of business executives and leaders.
THE GREEN LIGHT OF GOOD TALK AT THE CROSSROADS OF THE CHANGING BUSINESS WORLD
Got time to talk? You are plenty wise to get to know the communicator type of the people with whom you’re talking. That way, you don’t have to accommodate their style but you can when it will create win-win partnerships. How can you give the green light to good talk?
1. Focus like a hawk. Be more focused on what others are saying, than what you are going to jump in and say next.
2. Seek to be a better communicator and ye shall find. Set a goal to improve your communication skills a little each day, and within a year you will make smooth communication moves that net friendships.
3. Match the talk tempo. Communicating with a talk partner is like jogging or dancing together; taking turns talking or making points and matching the pitch and pace of talking gives the green light to good talk. Match the talk tempo.
4. Don’t stare off into outer space. Try to keep your eyeballs touching, and smile or nod your head in agreement when you do.
5. Enjoy feeling stupid. Leaders who aren’t “know it alls” listen really well because they are always in a learning mode.
6. Save the best for first. Instead of “saving the best for last,” do as much of what’s important to your work passions first.
7. Be on “your time.” Take time to think issues through, including four minutes of self-study or personal meditation each day.
8. Listen with “three ears.” Deep listening changes the listener and the speaker. You can’t listen with a half of an ear AND multitask AND get the drift of the complete message.
9. Change what isn’t working. Pick a flaw or an Achilles heel and work on daily improvement. For example, if you dislike change park in a new parking spot every day.
10. Connect instead of dissect. “It’s your fault!” is a way of shunning that dissects drivers on the two-way communication highway and creates a disconnect. If there’s no one to blame, what would you be doing differently today to make your dreams come true?
11. Don’t be content with feeling contented. Like the Rabbit in the parable of the Tortoise and the Hare, sit smugly on your laurels and you will be passed by in a hurry.
12. Tell the truth. You must have “guts galore” and express true feelings and thoughts that might hurt someone.
13. Know the communicator type of those you work for. You can’t always surround yourself with positive people, so know the quirks of your opposite communicator type so you don’t take things too personally.
That’s why good talk isn’t cheap, it’s priceless!
GIVE THE GREEN LIGHT TO GOOD TALK
When at first you don’t succeed, try, try doing something DIFFERENT for a change. Doing more of what isn’t working, still won’t work to resolve the communication problem at the crossroads. Enough already of you yakking about how taking time to listen will help you communicate better, and then drifting off into dreamland whenever times get tough or a bore gets off on being on a soapbox.
IS YOUR COMMUNICATION A COMFORT ZONE OR A COFFIN?
Has your “comfort zone” really become a coffin with money stuffed inside of it waiting for you to drop by? Ask questions and more questions. Feel proud to be a dumbbell who’s a “know-it-little.”
ABOUT LEADERSHIP COMMUNICATION PSYCHOLOGIST DR. DENNIS O’GRADY, PSY.D.
Dr. Dennis O’Grady is a Dayton-based communications psychologist and relationship expert who has spent over 30 years of his career dedicated to the advancement of organizational and leadership development, personal executive coaching, effective couple communication skills, and positive and effective communication strategies for anyone. Dennis is the author of three books, and father to three daughters, two of whom are teenagers. Dr. O’Grady is the developer of the “Talk to Me: Communication Moves To Get Along With Anyone” system available on his Web site and at Amazon.