Difficult times don’t make you a dipstick, and they shouldn’t make you flip out and yell at the driver in the car next to you. Feelings don’t make you good or bad, right? Here are some things I say to myself, using my communicator car image, when I’m singing the blues and ready to lash out at me or you:
1. O.K. you feel like elephant crap or a dope right now, so don’t you dare go and make it any worse!
2. Your perceptions are off kid…you’re driving in an emotional fog…avoid going into a skid or driving ahead of your headlamps.
3. Go easy. Don’t go to extremes. Stick to your lane and drive the speed limit. Look both ways, and check again for oncoming traffic.
4. You don’t have to feel good to get some things done. You don’t have to get everything done. I can be nice to me even when I’m disgusted with myself.
5. What are you saying negatively to yourself? Is it accurate? If you’ve been wounded in the gut, shooting yourself in the foot won’t help any, buddy! Use your Instigator skills of putting your mind over your emotions so you don’t mind how you’re feeling so much.
6. Be the Tortoise instead of the Hare right now. Be-aware of extremism. Feeling the feelings doesn’t mean you have to change lanes and run someone off the road. Maybe someone else can be in the driver’s seat for awhile. Rest may be the only answer.
7. Don’t criticize the bad driving of others but focus on your own driving. I need to get more acquainted with patience. I know more than I feel I do at this moment. If you don’t like the noise on the radio…change the damn station! If you’re low on gas, pull over and re-fuel.
THERE’S NO ONE TO BLAME
Do you find difficult people annoying? Oh, really now! Admit it: You’re the toughest person you know to get along with. That’s why I say “There’s no one to blame! and “Fix problems, not people!” No one feels perfectly contented and happy all of the time unless they are out of their minds.
ABOUT PROFESSIONAL SPEAKER, CORPORATE TRAINER AND COMMUNICATIONS PSYCHOLOGIST DENNIS E. O’GRADY, PSY.D.
Dr. Dennis O’Grady is no stranger to singing the blues without beating himself up or down, running into communication roadblocks but finding a way around them, pulling out the map or stopping and asking for directions instead of staying lost on the Communication Highway, and worrying less about “Are we there, yet?!” and more about “What are we doing and saying here?!”… but most of all O’Grady is glad to be the father of three interesting daughters who is also the inventer and developer of the “Eureka! It works!!” “Keep it simple!” communications system that even works when you use it just four minutes a day, called “Talk to Me: Communication Moves To Get Along With Anyone.” Anything is possible. Even getting along better with yourself when you can’t stand being with YOU.