Hey, Mom. How’s it been going in Heaven? You must have heard my back porch prayers this morning, while I was sitting on the back porch, staring into the deep back woods.
I just don’t know if I’m strong enough for all this grief stuff, Ma. I feel so sad and so full of sorrow, kind of like a sharp pebble is grinding away against the soft skin of my foot in a shoe that’s too tight when I’ve got to run fast.
I know that men who value emotional communication and close trusting relationships, feel this way. That’s just the way it is. But Mom, in the past I would’ve called you when I was missing you. Now, who do I call to hear your sweet voice?
KEEPING ALL YOUR DUCKS IN A ROW
I’m still using the Talk To Me© system of effective communication, Mom. I used it in the final two weeks of your life and loved how we all talked together so deeply and completely. You, of course, were an Instigator-type extrovert or “the Leader.” I was surrounded by Instigator communicators when I was growing up!
You were so brave. You were in the driver’s seat of your own death and dying process.
Mom, I am your number one fan. So I keep using all four gears in my communicator car, the four communicator modes, to talk to you. I’m using the Emotions mode now. Although it is the most challenging talk mode for me to talk through, I love the positive results.
Mom, I know you can hear me. Are you still helping me keep all my ducks in a row?
IT’S WATER OFF A DUCK’S BACK
In my sad back porch, early morning prayers, I was calling out, “Talk to me, Mom!” And you did.
You doubled up on the ducks this morning. Two colorful mallard ducks made me stop my car as both stepped non-chalantly across the street on my way to work. You’re driving me crazy with those stupid ducks, Ma!
Did you think I was that bad off that I needed two colorful messengers? Well, you were right! The water wasn’t easily flowing off my back. I’m trying to remember to “be like a duck and fly through all types of foul weather.”
DEEP PEACE TO YOU MY DEAR MOTHER
You took flight Mother Butterfly. At 86 years-young, you had to go, you needed to move on. And I needed to set you free.
Godspeed to you my beloved mother. You practiced what I heard preached in church without clucking about how you should get credit for being a good person. You were “Decent Betty”… a decent human being.
I’m passing the love on, Mom! I’m enjoying being the man you knew as a boy and grown son. Hey, please keep talking to me!
ABOUT COMMUNICATIONS EXPERT DR. DENNIS O’GRADY
Dennis E. O’Grady, Psy.D., is the proud second son of Elizabeth Merrill O’Grady. Talk to Me: Communication Moves To Get Along With Anyone is dedicated to his mother and to all the wild ducks of the world who remind all of us that we indeed are not alone. Lonely perhaps, recipient of sad, teary rainstorms for sure, but we’re not alone. Being lonely, and speaking about it, is courageous, not weak. Even the “Talk General” who is growing as a result of using the Talk To Me© system of effective communication, cries tears to a mountain of grief. You and your partner, close friends, and family members can learn to talk through grief and feel closeness and happiness growing, instead of shrinking. In short, you really can learn to talk to each other during emotionally stormy, difficult couple or family times. This “General of Talk” knows beyond any shadow of doubt, with the backing of the Talk To Me© system, you can really learn to talk better to anyone.