Do you work best or do you cave under pressure, particularly pressure that you put on yourself? Empathizer (E-type) communicators can trip up on little things which they allow to drain their energy. One procrastinating communications client of mine put it this way: “I’m exhausted. I have deadlines approaching. I can’t get all the work done at the office, and at home the grass is growing, and I don’t have time to mow it now. My partner tells me that I’m a big grouch, that I complain too much, and that I’m no fun to be around. The bills are piling up, and everyone at work and their cousins are expecting me to deliver NOW.” Ring any bells?
ENERGY-DRAINING COMMUNICATION PATTERNS
Have you used a global positioning device, or GPD, yet? Way too cool! You can choose either a female or male voice, which tells you to turn here or there, and how many miles you have to go until you reach your destination. Your communicator brain works the same way. You have a BPD, or belief positioning device, that puts you in a given frame of mind, for better and worse. For example, in the past you were taught negative beliefs that you tell yourself to drain (or fuel) your energy. It’s like having a hole in your energy gas tank (or a perpetual gas line running into the tank). You’ve heard others — or yourself — express beliefs like, “I can’t really do anything to change my situation,” or, “I’m not a very good time manager or a good communicator.”
DO YOU PERFORM BEST UNDER PRESSURE?
Personally, I don’t buy all the, “Look how hard I’ve been working,” psychodrama hype, that says we perform best when we are behaving like stressed out monkeys wired on Starbucks. Now, you tell me if these beliefs fire you up or put a wet blanket over your aspirations. This is how self-pressure sounds:
- When do I find the time?
- I can’t get it all done!
- I work best under pressure!
- I don’t have any time left over for me.
- It’s been tough. Total insanity. I should slow down.
- I am constantly drained.
- I can’t disconnect from work when I get home.
- How do you not take things personally?
- It feels like I’m running faster than a hamster in a wheel.
- I come last on the priority list.
- I’m not sure what the answer is.
- I can’t say “no” or I will let everyone down.
- How do you stop others from dumping their negative crap on you?
- Everybody brings their bag of problems to me to solve.
- I would like to take a little time to relax BUT…
Why wouldn’t you be thoroughly enjoying the trip of life with these types of thoughts tearing your peace of mind into pieces?
MEMOS TO YOUR MIND
Empathizer communicators, both men and women, use these types of internal commands, or “memos to my operating mind,” that are energy-draining instead of energy-producing. But you already knew that!
SO WHAT CAN I DO INSTEAD TO RELAX AND FEEL BETTER?
If I tell you what to do, my dear Empathizer communicators, will you do it? I understand that you have all the answers, and that you’re tired of being critiqued and criticized for being in a bad mood. So, you’ll take my advice with no strings attached and check it out?
For example, if I suggest that you take a few rest stops along the grueling work highway, will you be able to spare ten minutes of goof-off time for yourself? No, you won’t be able to do that because you don’t think of your energy as vitally important to your mood and confidence. Plus, you won’t think you’ll be able to get to your final destination fast enough to please everyone who’s depending on you. Look out for burnout ahead!
STOP BEING SO NEGATIVE, DR. O’GRADY
I think I’m being pretty realistic, neither too pessimistic nor too optimistic. You E-types work and work and work, and then promise yourself a little time to enjoy life, rather than enjoy the ride all along the two-way communicator highway. This can cause dramatic speed ups, then slow downs, on the Communicator Highway. Thus, “I’ve got to work hard, and I can’t help change my situation, because I’m feeling too exhausted to even try to do something new.”
WHY DON’T YOU STOP PLOPPING A STRESS BAG IN YOUR LAP
Stop plopping an over-filled stress bag in your lap and filling up your head with negative beliefs that siphon off the energy from your communicator car gas tank. Then again, if you’re happy with how you’re motivating yourself, then keep on keeping on. Just realize that Instigator communicators are going to look at you cross-eyed.
WHO IS DENNIS E. O’GRADY, PSY.D.?
Dr. Dennis O’Grady is the developer of a powerful communication system — that isn’t gender-driven — which has been proven to increase positive communication, energy, mood, business performance, personal life circumstances, and to help those who use the system to enjoy the ride of their lives. Don’t believe it? That’s because you’re investing in energy-draining communication strategies that keep you stuck, spinning the tires of your communicator car until smoke is surrounding you. Would you like to take a little pressure off yourself today, improving your performance and your mood? Then learn the Talk to Me communication system that is results-driven and personally proven. Don’t know about your communicator type? Yikes…you are not licensed to drive on the talk highway! Empathizers are too sensitive to others and less sensitive to the inner self. Instigators are too insensitive to others and more sensitive to the inner self. Take the NICI (New Insights Communication Inventory) at www.drogrady.com to determine what strategies you need to invest in. Read the “let’s all talk” textbook that will change your communication viewpoint forever, called: “Talk to Me: Communication Moves To Get Along With Anyone” available at this site and on Amazon.