FEELING HURT FOR TOO LONG?
Closed-minded communication isn’t any fun. Being talked over, dismissively talked down to, or flat out ignored isn’t ever rewarding for anybody. In fact, your tension, lack of trust, inability to hear constructive feedback, defeatist attitudes, disruption in achieving important goals, low energy, and bad decisions ALL stem from poor communication habits. Simply put, poor communication makes you feel and act poorly.
ARE YOU A POOR OR RICH COMMUNICATOR?
I don’t believe that you can drive on the two-way communicator highway effectively if you haven’t been trained to know with whom you are talking, by communicator type. Yes, personality does play a role in communication, as does gender and family training. However, you can improve your communication markedly by knowing the 12 key differences (pages 206-211) of Empathizer-type (E-type) vs. Instigator-type (I-type) communicators. It’s simple, easy, and powerful to use. The Talk to Me system even works well during intense changing times of grief, too.
WHAT ARE THE DISADVANTAGES TO ME OF NOT KNOWING YOUR (AND MY) COMMUNICATOR TYPES?
Empathizer communicators feel and talk differently than their Instigator counterparts. “You can’t compare apples to oranges!” gets at the distinctions and preferences of each type. Disadvantages to you of not knowing if you’re an apple or an orange or working with your communicator style and improving as a communicator a little every day:
1. You will feel hurt for too long (E-type)…or hurt the feelings of others without intending to (I-type).
2. You will feel down and dismissed (E-type)…or make others feel dismissed and unimportant (I-type).
3. You will be angry at yourself (E-type) … or be resented and disliked by others (I-type).
4. You will shy away from being a strong leader (E-type) … or not garner creative teamwork (I-type).
5. You will react to problems instead of resolving problems (E- and I-type communicators).
6. You will make less money (E-type) … or feel more stressed by the money you do make (I-type).
7. You will feel stuck and blame yourself for feeling bad (E-type) … or feel stuck and blame others for your feeling mad (I-type).
Knowing your communicator type will help you pass the love of good communication on and on!
WHO IS DENNIS E. O’GRADY, PSY.D.?
Dr. Dennis O’Grady is a Dayton region communications psychologist, relationship coach, corporate trainer, and keynote speaker. His areas of focus are change management, constructive team relationships, and effective communication. Dennis is the developer of the powerful new Talk to Me© effective listening and leadership communication training system. Copies of his book are available at www.drogrady.com and at Amazon. Get your roadmap to communication success today by calling and personally consulting with Dennis O’Grady, Psy.D.
12 KEY DIFFERENCES in Frame of Reference for Empathizer (E-type) and Instigator (I-type) Communicators
1. Interpersonal sensitivity vs. interpersonal insensitivity
2. Listening vs. half-listening
3. Behind the scene vs. star of the show
4. Interpersonal cooperation vs. interpersonal competition
5. Talking about a problem vs. fixing a problem
6. Relationship locus of control vs. internal locus of control
7. Low self-esteem vs. high self-esteem
8. Change resistive vs. change promotive
9. Hopelessness vs. powerlessness
10. Achilles’ heel loneliness vs. Achilles’ heel of boredom
11. Past focus vs. future focus
12. The emotional brain vs. the logical brain
From Talk To Me: Communication Moves to Get Along with Anyone, pages 206-211.