Have you ever wished for the perfect comeback to bullying negatalking that stings your ego or hurts your feelings? Who hasn’t! Sure enough, talking can get all twisted up like knots on a shoelace and trip you up. But how do you untwist twisted talking that spins your brain and makes you feel drained? How do you stop someone from putting words in your mouth by using a Talk to Me© effective communication system tool that works?
PUTTING THE BRAKES ON BAD TALK
By definition, toxic communication is emotionally confusing communication. So all you have to do is fill in these blanks to make a decent comeback that will cool down hot tempers, keeping them from flaring up and scalding your face.
1. HEARING ______
2. MAKES ME FEEL _______
3. LET’S TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE!
Just fill in the blanks and keep your voice tone low and level. Don’t even raise your volume. Calmly say what you’re hearing…calmly say what you’re feeling…calmly share what you want, which is simply your assertive request to change the topic.
A LIVE EXAMPLE OF COOLING DOWN WHEN TALKS HEAT UP
Here’s one “live talk” example of this standard comeback to unproductive negative talking:
1. HEARING ____ when you belittle my husband/wife/partner/friend…
2. MAKES ME FEEL _____ sad…or angry…or uncomfortable…or….
3. Let’s talk about something else!
COOLING YOUR JETS
Rude or disrespectful comments also can take your mood to supersonic speeds and disproportionate levels, making your mood go boom! Here’s another topical example:
1. HEARING ____ you say I’m too sensitive…
2. MAKES ME FEEL _____ frustrated.
3. Let’s talk about something else!
When a person without a psychology degree and license offers psychoanalytical critiques about your personal motives or character, it is an illegal turn or blame game on the two-way communication highway.
DON’T PUT WORDS IN MY MOUTH…DON’T JUST TALK…LISTEN TO ME
One new move is all it takes for you to cut right to the chase. By using this communication tool, you can put the brakes on bad talk driving habits and change directions when your communicator car is traveling down a dead-end road at breakneck speed.
ABOUT COMMUNICATIONS PSYCHOLOGIST DENNIS E. O’GRADY, PSY.D.
Dr. Dennis O’Grady is a Dayton region relationship communications expert, inspirational keynote speaker, corporate trainer, and experienced couples and family counselor. For over 30 years, Dr. O’Grady has focused on improving effective communication among everyone, including in-love couples, at-work teams, corporate leaders, and families. Dennis is the developer of the innovative results-driven Talk to Me© effective leadership and teamwork communication system. His book on positive and effective interpersonal communication, Talk to Me: Communication Moves To Get Along with Anyone, is available at drogrady.com or at Amazon.