If you’ve felt since your grade school years that you’ve been a natural born leader, then chances are you’re a Leader in the Talk to Me© effective communication system… a passionate leader, at that (an Instigator-type extrovert or ITE), one who knows how to go in there and make it work. You even have the know-how to take on a dysfunctional program or system and make it work. Your work motto is: “When life hands you lemons, make lemonade…and try to be the owner of the lemonade stand, too.”
WHAT INSTIGATOR EXTROVERT LEADERS DESPISE
As a Leader, I know you don’t like all that “Oh, how great thou art!” stuff because you are a humble person. According to my research using the NICI-LS (New Insights Communication Inventory — Leadership Survey), chances are good that 28.1% of the time, you are either interfacing with a Leader communicator or you are the Leader. Leaders lack patience for those people who don’t…
- Prepare for the worst and hope for the best
- Plan and go after it
- Follow The Fairness Doctrine
- Do everything in moderation and have a back up plan
- Have power and confidence in dealing with people
- Make up their minds and avoid second guessing themselves
- Have power and confidence in dealing with all people
- Take responsibility to walk the talk and be effective
- Talk to people and promote tools to cope with change
- Turn negatives into positives by using encouraging self-talk
- Realize that blaming and complaining are lame
- Know how to make it work
- Pick their battles carefully to win the war
- Make lemonade when life hands them lemons
- Move ahead vs. staying stuck, spinning their wheels
- Play fair…reward fairly…fix problems instead of fuss or fume about them
ARE YOU A CHARGE-AHEAD INSTIGATOR LEADER?
If you’re the positive Leader subtype you thrive in leadership roles because you…
1. ARE A NATURAL BORN LEADER. Even before grade school, you were wired to be a leader. You love to lead and loathe being a follower. You have the confidence that projects left to you will be done right, fairly, honestly, and filled to the gills with integrity. Instead of waffling, you’re confident when taking action. Your decisions are right-on for the whole group, and you don’t stuff your pockets at the expense of others.
2. PICK YOUR BATTLES CAREFULLY. You strive to make things work by carefully picking your battles. You choose your battles by asking yourself: “Is it worth dying on this hill?” or “Will I win this battle only to lose the war?” It’s more important for you to get ahead than to get your way only to lose the war. Communication with others is easy for you, as long as emotions don’t get all riled up, making smart people say or do some pretty stupid things.
3. ARE A MAP MAKER. You skillfully take time to chart out what lies ahead. You are able to plot a course from where we are now to where we need to be in the future, with the greatest of ease. In short, you are a flexible, plan-mindful person who loves to devise a good course of action as you efficiently motivate the troops to move forward. You think well on your feet, know the realistic rules of life, and you always strive to be prepared for any roadblock which may loom ahead. You quickly adjust any course of action that isn’t achieving the desired results, without sticking your ego in the mix.
4. USE THE FAIRNESS DOCTRINE. When life hands you lemons, you make lemonade and sell more lemonade stands to your comrades. You don’t waste energy with the useless refrain, “But life’s supposed to be fair.” You know the fair comes around once a year, and you often don’t go to the county fair even then. You have natural instincts that tell you what is fair vs. unfair for the individual and the group. “It’s not fair!” has nothing to do with you, because you strive to live by a fairness doctrine that always strives to balance obligations and payoffs equally.
5. ARE INGENIOUSLY ADAPTABLE. Like a good scout, you are always prepared. You prefer to travel through life independently, without having to worry about carrying the burdens of others on your shoulders. You don’t care to lug along guilt luggage because you prefer to travel light. You are able to gracefully adapt to any stressful situation. You are a versatile planner and doer, one who plans ahead and leads the way, constantly adjusting your course and modifying strategies as feedback is obtained along the way. You are performance-driven, and you like to win. Some consider you “the golden boy” or “golden girl.”
6. HAVE A SUSTAINING PASSION TO MAKE LIFE WORK. You love a challenge, and you have the know-how to get results fast that last. In fact, when one road is closed, you typically already have alternate routes planned out. You don’t let anything or anyone get you down for long, since you’re a big believer that a positive attitude brings good luck and divine fortune to you and yours. You have the passionate power and confidence to make any program or plan work. You’re good at calculating odds of success vs. roadblocks and failure.
7. ARE ABLE TO RECHARGE YOUR ENERGY BY INTERACTING WITH OTHERS. You recharge your energy battery by interacting with others. You adapt fast and communicate well as you pick team members with the steam to get the job done. You have the gift of gab, and you know how to work a room to your advantage. Your humor, enthusiasm, and positive attitude are respected and loved by those who drawn to you. Your battery goes low when people aren’t talking or sharing information openly with you. You like to take charge, but you aren’t a control freak. For example, you’d rather drive the car than ride in the passenger seat. There are no strangers in your life, just people waiting to become your new friends.
8. ARE A DRIVER WHO TAKES CONTROL OF THE WHEEL. You love to drive things along, and you can’t stand being bored. You can dominate the mood of the group, for better or worse. If you are a negative communicator, you want what you can’t have, and you believe the grass is always greener someplace else. Although you like to take the wheel and drive the car to the planned destination, you let others take the wheel and learn. You understand that “instructing and guiding” help teach important life lessons which people must learn.
9. ARE CONTINUOUSLY PERSISTENT. You live by your wits, and you have grit and determination. Giving up isn’t part of your plan…you are going to get us all to the next agreed-upon destination as fast as practically possible. You are persistent, determined to succeed, and you enjoy the financial rewards of being a finely tuned leadership guru. You are a relentless and tenacious go-getter. There’s no two ways about it — you establish the plan to get the job done and the goal attained. There’s no way you’re not going to get where you and your team or family need, or want, to go.
10. SEEK THE MIDDLE ROAD. You make things work by seeking the middle road as the most practical way to arrive at the intended destination. You hate the diversion of hurt feelings, injured egos, or other senseless accidents waiting to happen. In fact, you prepare with the worst in mind; you hope for the best; and you trust that the genuine outcome will be somewhere in the middle. You’re prepared to change your travel plans and try a different way. You seek sustenance in balance. You don’t trust others (or yourself) who go to extremes. Thus, you can play the piano of reality at all ranges, but you trust and use the keys in the middle range the most.
11. ARE A REALITY RESPONDER. “Be ready for anything and adapt as life unfolds!” is your motto. You solicit input from people whom you respect — those who have the keys of knowledge which unlock the door of opportunity you’re facing. You may not always be democratic, but you are certainly a diplomatic authority. You research options, you analyze potential problems or pitfalls, and you have a fallback position when times get tough. It’s so like you to plan ahead with alternate routes to take when one route doesn’t pan out. You are a reality responder!
You know how to make a map that gets all of us where we need and want to go, my dear expert communicator Leader!
LEADERS LOVE TO LEAD THE CHARGE AND MARCH OFF THE MAP
Simply put, Leaders love to direct us into unfamiliar regions. They love to create the map. They love to march off the map. Leaders take us from one known to the next known by going through the unknown or uncharted wilderness areas, with supreme confidence. Where would we be without them? Stuck in the past, pointing fingers of blame, that’s where.
Are you an Intuiter, Seer, Inventor, and Leader in the Talk to Me© communication system? Although Leaders diplomatically get along well with negative people, they don’t respect negatalkers who dig in their heels. Why? Because Leaders love to lead the charge ahead, marching off the map into new lands!
COMMUNICATION COMES EASY FOR THE LEADER COMMUNICATOR RELATIONSHIP SUBTYPE
Oh, how you love to drive in the Beliefs lane on the two-way communicator highway. Here’s what you know to be so:
You believe communication is easy…and it is pretty easy for you!
You think communication ought to be free of undue emotionalism…and you’re able to remain calm, even when your feelings are smarting!
You believe wise men and women pick their battles carefully…and you won’t lose your life charging over the next hill that’s not even worth climbing!
You think that patience is a virtue…and you wish you had some!
You believe in laughing at yourself…to beat others to the punch!
You think a good leader knows how to be a good follower… but honestly, you’re not so sure that applies to you!
INSTIGATOR COMMUNICATOR LEADERSHIP BY THE NUMBERS
There are four leadership or relationship subtypes in the Talk to Me© communication system — Intuiter, Seer, Inventor, and Leader — which I’ve painstakingly researched.
In the Dayton 2005 Leadership Study, which I designed and directed, I was able to get an accurate communication assessment of some of the most successful leaders in our region. Two types of Instigator leaders were found:
Type I: The Inventor. This very inventive and creative individual is an ideal “start up” leader. In my study, 15.6% of a selected group of leaders in the 2005 Dayton Coalition Study fell into this category. Inventors stumble when routine replaces inventiveness.
Type II: The Leader. This is the very fair and balanced individual who is an ideal “carry forward” leader. 59.4% of our proven and successful leaders, in the study, fell into this category. Project or company leadership trip up when can’t receive 360-degree feedback from those perceived to be trustworthy sources.
The remaining 25% in the 2005 Dayton Coalition Study were Empathizer leaders. Since 75% of leaders in the sample group were Instigator communicators, I concluded that Instigators love to instigate change. However, every individual, Empathizer and Instigator alike, can be an effective leader.
REALITY CHECK
If you are an Instigator-type communicator, you are a natural-born leader. You came in to this life wired to be a leader. You are eminently diplomatic and respectful of reality. With an accurate map, you can confidently lead all of us through unknown regions to begin a new life adventure.
ABOUT DENNIS O’GRADY
Dennis E. O’Grady, Psy.D., provides workshops and coaching on Effective Leadership Communication using the results-driven Talk to Me© innovative communication system. Dennis is also a relationship communications psychologist and corporate trainer from Dayton, Ohio. Dennis’s 2005 Dayton Leadership Study tested a sample group of 32 “proven, effective, and ethical leaders” who are responsible for running companies which account for over half of the jobs in the Dayton region. Dr. O’Grady’s findings are in his latest book, Talk To Me: Communication Moves to Get Along With Anyone, which aims to better communication across all levels.