THE SKILL OF INFLUENCING PEOPLE
“To lead is to serve…” clips along international leadership expert and inspiring speaker James Hunter, who hails from Detroit, Michigan. I recently had the privilege and honor of hearing Jim talk to a top flight, leadership group at Dayton Freight Lines, which is a privately held professional trucking company, based in Dayton. (On a personal note, Jim is married to a clinical psychologist, and that makes him a better communicator, by definition!)
QUIPS AND QUOTE-NOTES ON LEADERSHIP GEMS THAT WILL STICK WITH YOU AS YOU GO THROUGH YOUR DAY
EVERYBODY IS A LEADER
Everybody is a leader.
To lead is to serve.
Humility isn’t thinking less of yourself…it’s thinking less about your self.
Any time two or more people are gathered, there is an opportunity for leadership.
WHEN YOU HAVE SOMEBODY’S HEART—THE REST OF THAT PERSON WILL GO WHERE YOU WANT IT TO GO
Are we going to be glad you were here?
Who can get your people to own the mission of the company?
Management has little to do with leadership.
How do you inspire people to action?
Old way: When I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you!
Do you have your people from the neck up? Will your people walk through a wall for you?
IT’S ALL ABOUT PEOPLE AND RELATIONSHIPS…PEOPLE DON’T QUIT THE COMPANY—THEY QUIT THE BOSS
It’s all about people and relationships.
When you treat your employees badly, they will take it out on the customers.
People crave attention more than they crave bread. (Mother Teresa)
To truly be an inspirational leader, you must serve those you lead. (Sam Walton)
People don’t quit the company – they quit the boss.
How you behave affects lives. Would you like to work for you for half your life?
Why is it that I get the whole person when all I’m looking for is a set of hands? (Henry Ford)
When the Gods wish to destroy us, they first give us 30 years of prosperity. (Chinese proverb)
PEOPLE NEED TO BE REMINDED…MORE THAN THEY NEED TO BE INSTRUCTED
All change is not progress…but you can’t progress unless you change.
Nobody became a better leader by reading books or going to class.
People need to be reminded…more than they need to be instructed. (Samuel Johnson)
Treat people the way you want to be treated….Go be the boss you wish your boss would be.…Be the dad you wish your dad would’ve been….Be the co-worker you wish your co-worker would be.
Leadership is identifying and meeting people’s needs.
Everything I need to know I learned in Kindergarten. (Robert Fulgrum)
LEADERSHIP IS SERIOUS MEDDLING IN OTHER PEOPLE’S LIVES
Spend a little time in the prayer closet.
Leadership is serious meddling in other people’s lives. (Max DePree)
A leader has a most powerful influence on those they lead….It is a sacred trust. (John Wooden)
Leadership is influence – nothing more, nothing less. (John Maxwell)
You are leaders serving leaders.
What is leadership? It is an influence process. (Ken Blanchard)
LEADERSHIP IS THE SKILL OF INFLUENCING PEOPLE TO WORK ENTHUSIASTICALLY TOWARD THE COMMON GOOD
Leadership defined: The skill of influencing people to enthusiastically work toward goals, identified as being for the common good, with character that inspires confidence.
You can be a great manager but a horrible leader.
Leadership is a skill, a learned or acquired ability available to every one of you…not something you’re born with or a combination of personality and genetics.
Power: The ability to force or coerce others to do your will, even if they would choose not to, because of your position or might (paraphrase: “Do it or else!”).
You’re either green and growing – or you’re ripe and rotting.
There may be some natural born leaders, but they’re too few to count on.
CAPTURING THE MINDS AND SPIRITS OF OTHERS IS THE HALLMARK OF A GREAT LEADER
Leadership is about that person you are in the dark, when no one is looking. (Dwight Moody)
Just because you can do the job well, doesn’t mean you can inspire others to do the job well.
Capturing the minds and spirits of others is the hallmark of a great leader.
Everybody wants to change the world, but nobody wants to change themselves. (Leo Tolstoy)
When we think we’re thinking, we’re often just rearranging our prejudices. (Edward Murrow)
YOU CAN KNOW ALL ABOUT SOMETHING LIKE LEADERSHIP AND NEVER KNOW IT
You can know all about something (leadership) and never know it!
Can you “get it” from your head…to your heart…to your hands…to your actions in the world?
My wife’s a shrink! You can know all about mental health but not know mental health.
Did anyone ever learn to swim by reading a book?
We spend billions on talk and nobody gets their head and heart and hands into the game.
Leadership is character in action. (Warren Bennis)
99% of leadership failures are failures of character. (Norman Schwarzkoff)
CHARACTER IS DOING THE RIGHT THING ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU DON’T FEEL LIKE IT
Character is doing the right thing, especially when you don’t feel like it.
Character is the glory of being human between the stimulus and the response.
A two-year-old attitude of “Me-first and pooh-on-you!” is really ugly in a 50-year-old.
Talking about change is like putting perfume on a pig.
There ain’t no human beings; there are only humans becoming.
Intentions minus actions equal squat. (Ken Blanchard)
Intentions + Actions = Will
THE ONLY TWO SURE THINGS IN LIFE ARE DEATH…AND CHOICES
The only two sure things in life are death and choices.
The qualities of moral character that enable a person to inspire and influence a group of people successfully. (United States Marine Corps Definition of Leadership)
It ain’t about what you do, boss, it’s all about who you are.
You don’t manage people; you manage your checkbook. You lead people.
Raise the bar to improve morale.
Character means pushing us to be the best in all that we do.
Excellence is inspiring in and of itself. Never dumb down the standards.
Honesty is the #1 thing people want from a leader. You then build trust by being honest.
CREATE A TEAM OF “ALL LEADERS” WITH DIFFERENT RESPONSIBILITIES
Your actions speak so loudly I can no longer hear you.
Dishonesty is avoiding the hassle by not telling the whole truth and by confronting others.
Create a group of “all leaders,” each with different responsibilities.
Give a quality project, on time, and at a reasonable price.
The higher you are in any organization the more personal change is required of you. (Peter Drucker.)
WHEN YOU GET THE LEADERSHIP THING RIGHT…ALL THE REST WILL FALL INTO PLACE
You get the leadership thing right and all the rest will fall into place.
There are no weak platoons – only weak leaders.
Every union drive is about broken relationships.
Everything rises and falls on leadership.
Start with the leadership team and the symptoms of low morale will disappear.
Anyone among you who wishes to be the leader must first be the Servant. If you choose to lead, you must serve. (Jesus Christ)
Authority: The skill of getting people to willingly do your will because of your personal influence. (Paraphrase: “I’ll do it for you.”)
WHEN EVERYONE IS KISSING UP—ALL YOU CAN SEE ARE BUTTS
When everyone is busy kissing up, all you can see are butts.
Seagull Managers: Make a lot of noise, poop on people, eat your lunch, get in the way, and then fly away.
Make sure your people have everything they need to win.
CEOS: Customers/Employees/Owners/Significant Others
Without people, there is no business.
Healthy relationships: Identify and meet needs through good communication.
Power damages relationships.
MY PAY IS MY RIGHT, BUT YOUR PRAISE IS MY GIFT
My pay is my right, but your praise is my gift.
At the core of the human personality is the need to be appreciated and respected. (William James)
There’s nothing more powerful than an idea whose time has come.
HR has spontaneous human combustion when you talk about love.
Act with love. Extend yourself to people, and seek their greater good.
Hugging and spanking is the essence of Servant Leadership.
It’s all about accomplishing tasks while building relationships for the future.
Do you bring to the party the skill of getting results and building good relationships simultaneously?
We hire for character…and train for skills.
Love is the act(s) of extending yourself for others, by identifying and meeting their legitimate needs and seeking their greatest good.
I am my wife’s biggest case.
I’m not asking you to like your people…I’m asking you to love them.
Being in power is like being a lady. If you have to remind people you are – you aren’t. (Margaret Thatcher)
There are no shortcuts to serving.
A GOOD LEADER WALKS THE TALK
PATIENCE: A good leader shows self-control.
KINDNESS: A good leader gives attention, appreciation, and encouragement. (Common courtesy)
HUMILITY: A good leader is authentic, not boastful, arrogant, prideful or “puffed up.”
RESPECTFULNESS: A good leader treats others as important people.
SELFLESSNESS: A good leader meets the legitimate needs of others, as opposed to the wants of others.
FORGIVENESS: A good leader will give up resentment when wronged.
HONESTY: A good leader is free from deceptive behavior.
COMMITMENT: A good leader sticks to the choice(s) you have made.
I’M NOT WHERE I WANT TO BE BUT I’M BETTER THAN I USED TO BE
10% of people will change from the inspiring messages they are constantly hearing.
Healthy tension helps you to grow.
Identify your gaps, and use feedback to further your growth.
If you don’t measure it, you can’t evaluate progress.
If you’re too old to change, you’re too old to lead.
You must be the change you wish to see in the world. (Ghandi)
The only two certainties in life are death…and choices.
What are you going to do differently today?
It’s time we all stop looking for magic dust to be a great leader.
ABOUT “TALK DOC” DENNIS O’GRADY, Psy.D.
Dennis delivers Talk2Me© Leadership Communication workshops which provide a Communication Toolbox full of positive communication tools to set people up for success. Dr. O’Grady can be reached at (937) 428-0724 or at www.drogrady.com.
Servant Leadership corporate speaker and author James Hunter can be reached at http://www.jameshunter.com/index.htm or by calling (734) 692-1771.