Are you happy to be an emotional person and an emotion-driven communicator? Or do you feel guilty being filled to the brim with emotions, because you are lionhearted? “Cold or insensitive” Instigator communicators deeply admire the “warm, fuzzy” emotional displays of their opposites, Empathizer communicators – or E-types – in the Talk2Me© system. Tough luck: E-types have a complex about their emotional powers that undermines the expression of their competencies. What’s your reality? Confident? Calm? Centered? Competent? All four pillars are the foundation of good communication.
EMPATHIZERS’ EMOTIONAL STRENGTHS
In my intensive T2M workshop Talk Exercises, when asked directly, Instigators will tersely tell you exactly what and how much they secretly admire the emotionally gifted world of Empathizer communicators. Recall that 50% of all males and females from all walks of life are privileged to live in the emotionally-driven world of the Empathizer communicator.
What thicker-skinned Instigators admire overall about the high Emotional I.Q. of sensitive Empathizers:
• The E-type’s ability to show emotions.
• Expressiveness: Facial and hand gestures, octave changes in voice, shows passion.
• Very express-full and respect-full”…BUT I-types are more uncomfortable with hugs.
• E-types are more fun and have more fun…BUT I-types are often asked: “Aren’t you having a good time?”
• Eagerness…enthusiastic attitude…happy-go-lucky.
• E-types are expressive…BUT I-types are inexpressive.
• E-types struggle with openly receiving positive feedback of a personal nature.
• Deep ability to interpret emotions.
• With their spinning radar, E-types can usually read a person accurately.
• E-types don’t depress their moods, and they make it obvious when they’re having a good or bad day.
• E-types’ instinctual ability to take the best avenue of communication when a roadblock crops up.
• Keen ability to express “warm fuzzies”…BUT I-types can’t initiate physical affection like E-types can.
• E-types give “warm fuzzies” more easily…BUT I-types are more selective to whom they give “warm fuzzies
• “Cold pricklies” disturb E-types more than criticisms disturb I-types.
• E-types have more patience…while I-types are more direct and to the point.
• E-types are natural-born teachers and teach you about life…while I-types are comfortable being the boss of males and females alike.
• The E-type is a quiet and humble leader.
• E-types are always in the mood and have the patience to stop and pay attention. They take time to explain, and will explain the lesson over and over again, without losing patience.
• E-types are better listeners…BUT I-types don’t stop to listen –they go through stop signs and red lights.
• They will make a “time investment in listening.”
• E-types will stop and smell the roses, while I-types will keep on going by and maybe say they look nice!
• E-types will take time to invest in a relationship, while I-types will set standards and use tough love.
• Empathizers are more approachable and approach-able.
• E-types will freely deliver or give emotional-laden feedback.
• E-types are more likely to initiate a feedback session with an E-type vs. an I-type.
• E-types have all their ducks in a row before approaching an I-type.
Both E-types and I-types deliver the freight through good and bad weather, using the new knowledge of talk technology available only in T2M.
POINTS OF COMMUNICATION CONVERSION
As a couples communications psychologist and a corporate trainer, I’ve first-hand and up-close seen the miracles the T2M system facilitates around the Communicator Table…and the disasters that are prevented, as well. How you, too, can utilize strengths from both sides of Talk Street and make this week the beginning of a bright, positive, communicative future:
1. Learn how to give and receive feedback, by talk type, at www.drogrady.com.
2. If you’re an E-type, go out of your comfort zone to give more feedback!
3. If you’re an I-type, go out of your comfort zone to get more feedback!
4. Use the “accurate feedback in a minute or less” T2M approach to become a better communicator today.
5. Always Ante Up: Know that good communication rules the work nook and home roost alike.
EMPATHIZERS STOP AND SMELL THE ROSES…WHILE INSTIGATORS KEEP ON GOING AND MAYBE SAY THE ROSES LOOK NICE
E-type and I-type men and women alike can sometimes feel like a desperate group that’s going down, due to setbacks of poor or no communication. However, both E-types and I-types get the freight delivered through thick and thin. Sure, the Empathizer wooden crate has a “Fragile” label pasted across it, while the Instigator box is labeled “Hazardous Materials/Explosive”. But just pry open the box and take a good look inside at what you’ve feared to cheer. See and use all that you admire about your opposite talk type, using the TALK2ME approach.
ABOUT TALK DOC, DR. DENNIS E. O’GRADY, Psy.D.
Dennis O’Grady, Psy.D., is known as the Talk Doc since the advent of his positive and effective communication system, Talk to Me©. Dennis is president of the Dayton Psychological Association who received the 2008 Silver Medal Axiom Business Book Award.