How do you motivate someone without demotivating them? Do you ever worry about that communication factor? Whether that person is a coworker, subordinate, teenager, or spouse? Is motivation an inside job of self-perspiration or something that is inspired from other preparation?
THE INSTIGATOR VS. EMPATHIZER OR CAT VS. DOG CLASH
Using the TALK2ME system, although there will be a natural tension that exists between opposites, you will have the agility and ability to avoid communication crashes on Talk Highway. How so? By understanding how Empathizer and Instigator communicators are motivated and demotivated in different ways. Did you know that Empathizers worry too much, for example, while Instigators worry too little? Of course you did!
Another common example: Instigator-type (I-type) communicators are hard driving, hard of hearing, hardheaded, hardly moved by criticism, and hard at work trying to catch the brass ring. Empathizer-type (E-type) co-communicators say, “I feel like a failure because I’m not doing what the I-type wants me to do,” or “I’m not doing enough to make him happy.”
This clash can lead to demotivation for E-types and frustration for I-types.
THE INSTIGATOR VIEW OF MOTIVATION
Try to focus on how Instigators think you ought to drive down Motivation Highway. I put the question to an accomplishment-focused, I-type male with 25 years of experience in the world of work…
To get on down the Motivation Highway, a person must…
1. Be goal oriented
2. Have the confidence to achieve those goals
3. Understand the importance and rewards of
Hard Work
Self-Discipline
Teamwork
Friendship4. Not allow the fear of failure to overcome your desire to succeed
5. Keep you nose to the grindstone – don’t quit because it’s hard
6. Be accountable
HEAD MOTIVATION VS. HEART MOTIVATION
In short, Instigators are motivated from their heads while Empathizers are motivated from their hearts. To get the job done, I-types don’t mind stepping on toes. But the blue suede shoes of Empathizers can get so scuffed up and their toes so squashed that their motivation and output decline under the weight of a bad mood.
WHAT CAN YOU DO TO OBTAIN BETTER RESULTS?
Use the motivational strategy of your opposite communicator type when you feel good results are stymied.
When you use TALK2ME©, you will spontaneously generate actions that put the rubber to the road on Talk Highway and leave no one standing on the curb, downcast.
ABOUT “TALK DOC” DENNIS O’GRADY, Psy.D.
Dr. Dennis O’Grady is a Communication Expert and Developer of the TALK2ME Communication Roadmap. Dr. O’Grady provides individual and relationship coaching and counseling. Talk with Dennis at 937-428-0724.