Hey my dear Empathizers: Are you taking in the anger like sticking a pin into a pin cushion? Well, that won’t work. An Instigator partner, boss, boss’ wife or husband, or bossy customer isn’t always right, so YOU need to stay in your right emotional mind. Your job is to stay confident and refuse to follow an angry or sullen co-communicator who is being an ineffective talk leader, and listen up.
THE FIX WHEN THERE IS A FAILURE TO COMMUNICATE
The fix is to listen to your own internal voice that is screaming, “Something terrible is going to happen here so you’ve got to do anything to please and accommodate this person who is dropping guilt bombs on ya’. Staying in emotional neutral, without getting all emotionally riled up, is VERY possible when you understand and use the “Talk to Me” communication system. After all, “I just don’t feel like talking about it!” platitudes perpetuates problems and keep everyone stressed to the max.
ARE YOU USING PLATITUDES OR POSITIVE TALK ATTITUDES?
A platitude is a cliche like “You shouldn’t hurt a person’s feelings!” or “You should’ve thought it through better!” It’s true that Empathizers can get lost in “What IF…” thinking. For example, “What IF I did something wrong?” or “What IF I did something that caused the person to feel bad or upset?” Thus, sometimes Empathizers are too bright for their own good, and can suffer from “analysis paralysis.” Platitudes don’t give you latitude to talk!
JUST FIX IT
If you’re doing something ineffective in your communication, or getting mixed results, then you are free to do something different that may work out a whole lot better. Catch my drift? Here’s how Empathizers can “think and speak positively” when feeling lost and lonely:
- This is how I see it
- I light everyone up, not let everyone down
- I have answers that solve the riddle
- Our relationship contract is up for renewal
- Something has to change here
- The “same old, same old” is old news
- I need to trust my gut
- Where are you coming from with that?
- I must do something different than what I’ve always done
- I vow to learn something new about good communication every day
- There is a better chance to solve problems when we communicate
- Needing to always be right is wrong
- When no one else appreciates me…I still do
- I’m there for ME all the time
- I’m not the problem here
- It’s not my stuff
- I’m a fast learner
- Feeling bad doesn’t make me bad
You ARE in the driver’s seat of your own life! Who better to sit behind the steering column?
LETTING THE OLD GO WHILE DOING THE NEW
Positive thinking helps you drive to new places in your life that you would like to go. Positive energy is like gasoline for your communicator car, you need it to make smooth communication moves that make a difference in your life.
THIS IS HOW IT IS: ABOUT COMMUNICATIONS EXPERT, PSYCHOLOGIST, KEYNOTE SPEAKER AND BUSINESS CONSULTANT DR. DENNIS O’GRADY
Dr. Dennis O’Grady is the author of “Talk to Me: Communication Moves To Get Along With Anyone.” O’Grady’s new communication system will show you how to talk in the language of your partner, child or business customer to create win-win problem-solving communication strategies. O’Grady teaches there are two communicator types called Empathizers and Instigators; who drive in the four talk lanes of Emotions, Beliefs, Behaviors and Talks. The reason there is so much miscommunication and frustration going on, isn’t because other people are so dad-blasted difficult who want to drive you insane, but because the two types of communicators haven’t been known until this point in our history and accounted for in our relationships. “A Beginner’s Guide to Communication” is available to study on Dr. O’Grady’s CommTools blog, while his entire advanced communication system is available only in his “Talk to Me” book and seminars. “Talk to Me: Communication Moves To Get Along With Anyone” is now available at Amazon. You can talk personally to Dr. O’Grady at his Web site, too.