Are you being a cupid…or stupid? New couples in the sizzling romantic phase of love don’t have to put much work into their loving adventure. But long-term lovers can get lazy. They can forget the big AND little things that keep relationships hot, and they can let good communication habits fall by the wayside.
Are you passing love by, or are you making your love last a lifetime? Are you being a Cupid or Stupid (especially when love has to survive difficult times)?
CUPID, DRAW BACK YOUR BOW AND…WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT?
When I was a teen, singer Sam Cooke crooned these favorite and unforgettable lines in Cupid…
“Cupid, draw back your bow-oh …
And let your arrow go-oh …
Straight to my lover’s heart, for-or ME-eee.”
But how are YOU supposed to get to your lover’s heart? How can you keep your love alive? What to do when your love hits the wall or skids sideways on black ice in the wintertime of your love? How can you drive sanely and serenely on the two-way communication highway when there are roadblocks to good communication, detours, and accidents just waiting to happen?
ARE YOU IN A CONTROLLING, FRIENDSHIP OR A LOVING RELATIONSHIP? HOW CAN YOU TELL?
Do you wear your heart on your sleeve? Then chances are you are an E-typer or Empathizer communicator. Do you mind and get really testy when things get emotionally messy? Then you’re probably an I-typer or Instigator communicator? Don’t know what I’m talking about? Don’t know your communicator type, or the communicator type of your partner or kid? Then you aren’t licensed to drive on the two-way communication highway; and accidents do happen.
There are three types of relationships, married or otherwise. In ascending order of maturity, they are: Controlling, Friendship, and Loving.
People move forward and progress from a Controlling Relationship…to a Friendship Relationship…to a Loving Relationship. I like to think of it as a “Love Ladder.” Just because you think you’re in love, doesn’t mean you are really in true LOVE. It depends on the type of relationship you’re in.
And according to my clinical experience, you can’t take a partner at one level and grow with him or her to the next level. It’s just not possible. The three relationship types are like the steps of a ladder. Which type of relationship are you in now?
In all my years of communications psychology practice, I have not seen anything like today’s push for love and loving relationships. More people than ever before expect to live and feel loved in a mutually advantageous, loving relationship. And the fields of psychology and communication have the technology available to make the dream of love come true if we pick a partner wisely and use smart communication moves.
Pages 112-113 in “Talk to Me: Communication Moves To Get Along With Anyone”
WHY “TALK TO ME” MAKES A PRACTICAL GIFT FOR YOU, YOUR LIFE OF LOVE AND LOVER ON VALENTINE’S DAY
Love, like good communication, is a gift, and if you haven’t figured out what to give your Valentine this year, why not give the gift of communication? The love-based communication system that I am championing can be found in my newest book, “Talk to Me: Communication Moves To Get Along With Anyone.” Now, hold on to your heart-mind because I DO want to sell you something. I want to sell you on caring for yourself. I want you to have a loving relationship toward yourself. I want you to think about giving others what you both need to get along well in this world. I want you to think about doing what you can to help your loving partner, even when a lover might not feel like giving you the time of day. To love others, you must first love yourself when times are tense and fear is chasing after you like a werewolf smelling a warm and juicy meal.
COME TALK TO ME
The “Talk to Me” communication system works. So I would like you to come by New Insights Communication between 9 a.m.-3 p.m. Wednesday, February 14th, to purchase your own copy of my book. Then, I sincerely hope you’ll read it and learn the system to achieve the “light went on” effect that I’ve written about.
I’ll personalize your book, too. Plus, you’ve got nothing whatsoever to worry about or lose. If you aren’t entirely happy with the results of the “Talk to Me” communication system…I’ll return your investment in getting along better with yourself (and others)–smile on my face when I see you. At the very least, I’ll be happy that you tried my “keep the lines of communication open.”
What a recent communications client said: “I can’t believe in just a few visits to you our “COMMUNICATION” is WONDERFUL. All the tools you gave us to work with we are still using. I feel happier, and our 30-year marriage, feels like we’re IN-LOVE again.”
And I’m bettin’ you’re ready to roll on down the road to get your happy back, too. Four minutes a day practice is all it will take for you to produce results that will quiet any doubts you have of being able to go from a good to a GREAT communicator.
WHAT CAN YOU DO ABOUT IT?
A communications training client of mine recently said: “Life is way too fragile, and way too short, to not be with the person or the people you love.”
I say it this way: Love is all that lasts BUT you may find love only to lose it IF you don’t use good communication habits.
ARE YOU STUPID ABOUT CUPID?
“Fix the problem, not the person!” is a rule of mine to encourage worrying less, pumping up your mood, making change happen fast and last, enjoying your life as you travel down the two-way communicator highway instead of groaning: “But are we there yet?”
NO, you’re not there. You are here to experience “peace of mind” instead of “give someone a piece of your mind.” In exchange for a few dollars, you gain a caring attitude toward yourself when the chips are down, and some cool new communicator moves that have been known to work wonders.
Thanks for taking a ride with me on the two-way communicator highway.
ABOUT PSYCHOLOGIST DR. DENNIS O’GRADY, PSY.D.
Dr. Dennis O’Grady is a communications psychologist, corporate trainer and relationship counselor from Dayton, Ohio, USA. He provides keynotes and corporate training programs on the topics of positive and effective communication. “Talk to Me: Communication Moves To Get Along With Anyone” is Dr. O’Grady’s third book on the subject of strategic decision-making, change management and leadership communication.