HAVE YOU LOST THAT L-O-V-I-N-G FEELING?
Have you lost that loving feeling? In my relationship communications coaching, I hear: “I love my partner but I’m not in love with him or her anymore.” Whoa, let’s slow down here. Love isn’t indestructible. It’s rather like a crystal vase, a beautiful, fragile vessel that shatters against the rough treatment of a hardened heart. But can you really fall out of love? Perhaps love is not enough, because one-third of couples report being “in love” vs. the other two-thirds who simply “like the security” of a partnership.
YOU’VE LOST THAT LOVING FEELING FOR YOUR LIFE PARTNER?
How to know if your partner has fallen out of love with you, and just isn’t into being with you….
LOVE IS LOST WHEN…
1. YOUR PARTNER TALKS DOWN TO YOU.
2. YOU FEEL DISRESPECTED. Your partner doesn’t keep you in the loop of what’s happening and why.
3. YOUR PARTNER HAS A COLD HEART, CLOSED MIND, WANDERING EYES…in short, more important time and energy commitments than you.
4. YOU TWO NO LONGER ‘CLICK’. Your partner practices values or voices ideas that no longer click with your sense of how you are and what you’re striving to become.
5. YOU DISLIKE EXTENDING YOURSELF. You no longer want to go out of your way for your partner, to extend yourself to a partner’s friends, family, work, or church associates.
6. CONVERSATIONS WHICH ARE TOO CONFRONTATIONAL. Arguments that go nowhere are the norm, and conversations easily become debative and neglectful of compromise.
7. CIVILITY IS SHATTERED. Simple agreements are broken, such as tasks which should be easily completed, but are not finished in a timely fashion.
8. THE RELATIONSHIP GLASS IS EMPTY, SAVE FOR THE PESSIMISM. Negativity: makes you dread coming home or having to talk with your partner; fills your home; and keeps draining your energy and love of life.
9. YOU AVOID PRIVATE TIME WITH YOUR PARTNER. Partners avoid sharing alone time together, instead focusing on hobbies, the kids, or work responsibilities.
10. A PARTNER REVERTS TO HIS OR HER OLD WAYS. A partner doesn’t want to feel forced to change. Some changes may be attempted at first, when trying to repair relationship problems is expected, but then the same old habitual patterns surface in a very short time.
11. HELPING IS HURTING. When one partner tries to help the other partner, but consistently feels hurt or feels like the loser during the interchange.
12. EACH PARTNER PUTS A MAGNIFYING GLASS ON PERCEIVED NEGATIVES, amplifying how bad things supposedly are, in areas such as personal flaws or relational weaknesses…and no one can seem to move out of that rut.
13. PARTNER DISTRUST AND DISGUST. This is a sure sign that resentment is squeezing out and replacing love.
14. FAMILY MEMBERS TAKE SIDES. Casting votes of disapproval about how right vs. wrong you are as a couple unit.
15. YOU EXPERIENCE DISAPPOINTING EXPECTATIONS. You’re wrapped around the axle of your partner, and you feel frustrated or fragmented by what your partner chooses to do, or not do.
ARE YOU SAILING ON A SHIP OF LOVE OR A SHIP OF FOOLS?
Miscommunication in particular, and communication issues in general, can quickly turn your Ship of Love into a Ship of Fools.
CAN’T SEEM TO MOVE ON PAST THE PAST?
Can’t seem to get past the past? Then give your relationship one last try by studying and using the Talk to Me© communication system. You’ve got nothing to lose but big bad feelings, which don’t deserve to make you feel small.
WHO IS DENNIS O’GRADY?
Dennis E. O’Grady, Psy.D., is a Dayton region communications psychologist and relationship communications coach. Dennis wears two hats, one of corporate trainer in leadership communication skills, and the other as a couple communications expert. Dr. O’Grady’s clinical research proves that there is much you can do on your own to become a better communicator, to stop spinning your tires in a rut of dissatisfaction and frustration. Once you begin to understand the 12 dimensions of your communicator type, as an Empathizer or Instigator communicator, new doors and windows open to powerful new ways of communication, enabling you to drive more compassionately and effectively on the two-way communicator highway. Dennis’s third book is Talk to Me: Communication Moves To Get Along With Anyone, which is available at Amazon and www.drogrady.com.