THERE ISN’T A ‘I’ IN TEAM, BUT THERE IS AN ‘I’ IN WIN
What gives the green light to constructive feedback when talking to your Instigator-type (I-type) co-communicators who can be thick-skinned, hardheaded, hard-handed and hard of hearing? If you prefer direct, no-nonsense feedback that drives the point home, then you’re likely an I-type as well. Do you flip on the cruise control when you order up your feedback – which is dictated by your talk type, by the way – like always ordering a steak rare vs. well done?
GO: CONSTRUCTIVE FEEDBACK, INSTIGATOR-STYLE
How to give the green light of good feedback from the viewpoint of hard charging and hard core Instigator communicators:
1. BE DIRECT. Don’t beat around the bush but come right to the point and stick to it.
2. BE ACCURATE. “Show me the facts and be able to back them up with proof,” is the challenge of the I-type communicator.
3. BE TIMELY. As the project progresses, the I-type prefers to work out problems in a timely fashion and not compound troubles by avoiding a difficult discussion.
4. POLICY-DRIVEN. State the rules, premises, and precedents for why you did what you did. What can be done differently to achieve better results?
5. BE NON-EMOTIONAL. If you get overly emotional and show it, you lose. Put your trust in logic more than feelings. Getting mad and throwing a tantrum is costly and immature.
6. SLEEP ON IT. Take time to step away from an emotional decision. Nobody is perfect, and mistakes can be made without blowing up the glass bridge of trust.
Listening to hear is based on talk type, as well. For example, Empathizers like the volume country-soft, while Instigators like it rock-hard. Different strokes for different folks!
THE CHANGING WORLD OF COMMUNICATION
Half of everyone you work with and love in this changing world of ours are Instigator-type (I-types) communicators. I-types put facts over feelings; head in charge of heart; and they focus on benefits more than setbacks. I-types believe in reigning in the wild horses of irrational emotions. Emotions, in the I-type world, cause untold conflict, loss and suffering. Give feedback in the style your listener prefers, for a change!
ABOUT “TALK DOC” DENNIS E. O’GRADY, PSY.D.
Dr. Dennis O’Grady is the new Talk Doc in town, a corporate consultant, team trainer, and the insightful, original developer and researcher of the Talk to Me© positive and effective communication system. T2Me has been successfully implemented in multi-generational family companies and couples communication training.