Positive vs. Negative Anger
As an anger educator and communications psychologist, I can tell you that “road rage” is a slick and tricky mental magic act and a racey misnomer. It’s more accurate to call it “human rage,” since it’s unhealthy anger directed at human beings not roads made of concrete or asphalt.
Nate Ryan, in a tire-screaming USA TODAY cover story, says: “In the early years of the sport, some drivers would resolve personal issues with a fistfight after the race. Now, some say, drivers vent their anger on the track instead.” Gosh, this statement implies that we can’t handle anger in healthier ways – ways that don’t involve hitting, yelling or kicking the dog. Are we being too melodramatic again about anger-driven behaviors?
Psychological Profile of a “Road Rager:”
What is the psychological profile of The Aggressive Driver?
- Massive personal insecurity…winning is everything
- Feeling like a failure…can’t tolerate getting behind in the race of life
- Prideful ego: “Are you going to let them get away with that?”
- Self-defeating belief that venting anger is always good
- Difficulty relaxing
- Doesn’t enjoy the ride enough…focuses on final outcome/destination
- Fear of emotions: Prefers putting mind over emotional matters
- Fault-shifting: Plays the “It’s not my fault!” blame and shame show
- Drags along old suitcases filled with rusty resentments
- “Reactive anger” is triggered by disppointment or loss
- Prone to fear disapproval: “You’re not good enough unless you’re perfect!”
- When hot under the collar, thinks the golden rule is for chumps
- Fails to remember: “Trying to hard to get even will distract you and quickly put you behind!”
Perhaps we live in an anger-confused society, one that anxiously discusses bad anger choices while at the same time issuing “fluffy feel good excuses” for inappropriate and dangerous driving behavior with psychomumble.
What Can You Do?
You can be a safe driver when others refuse to, that’s what. In addition, you can use these six tips for driving peacefully:
- Don’t let “idiot drivers” get your goat
- Talk sense to yourself when you’re mad, i.e. “This isn’t a good use of my time or energy!”
- Have a goal to make your car a meditaiton/relaxation/education chamber
- Start thinking in terms of “positive vs. negative anger choices”
- Read mini-lessons about how healthy or positive anger can be used to promote emotional self-control
- Remember anger is an emotion, NOT an action or stupid reaction
In addition, you can download my podcast on “No Hard Feelings” for free.
Self-Talk Communication Tools Can Eliminate Foul Anger
If a driver wants to, I can help an “angry driver” cure so-called “road rage” in a couple of meetings by using self-talk tools to calm him/herself down when nothing seems fun. It’s no big deal!
Actually, anger isn’t a bad behavior unless you choose it to be so. Anger is an emotion, positive or negative or both, that can be healthy or unhealthy, depending on how you choose to use it. Stuffing anger leads to physical problems and “anger implosions,” while venting anger inappropriately leads to “anger explosions.” Anger attacks ain’t pretty no matter where they occur…and some of the worst one’s occur privately in many American homes.
Disallow yourself from being led around like a goat on a rope by anyone’s anger. That way, you will keep the unhealthy anger of a competitor from harming you.
Dr. Dennis O’Grady is a Dayton, Ohio, communications psychologist who has successfully cured “road rage” clients in two hours of communications training by using new coping tools that include talking positively to yourself. Dennis is the author of TALK TO ME.