Why Can’t People Be More Like Dogs?

The Importance of Straight Animal Talk in a Crooked Human World

We humans depend on our pets a lot for unconditional acceptance, love and “straight talk.”When we’ve lost hope and believe or feel the possible has become the impossible, our furry-faced friends are always there to confide in and snuggle with. Oh, how much more down and blue we would all feel without our beloved dogs and cats and other animal friends by our sides during the good and bad times of our lives!

No offense to cats, but why can’t people act/talk/be more like our beloved dogs? Here are the thoughts of a 6th-grade dog lover on the subject:

Dogs don’t care what you look like…
Dogs are more obedient. Dogs are always there for you…
Dogs are playful.
Dogs are glad to see you whatever mood you’re in…
Dogs will wait for you. Dogs are more respectful, too.

Dogs look out the window instead of watching T.V…
Dogs seem so much smarter…even though we humans know so much more.
Dogs are cuddly…
Dogs make you happy when you’re sad.
Dogs are only mean when they’re trying to protect themselves or don’t understand…
Dogs go with the flow more easily.

Dogs are patient and kind…
Dogs are more sensitive to others’ feelings…
Dogs aren’t afraid to do what they want…
That’s why people should be more like dogs!

Thoughts from a 6th grader dog lover

Dr. Dennis O’Grady is a communications psychologist from Dayton, Ohio, and the author of No Hard Feelings, Taking the Fear Out of Changing and Talk to Me at www.drogrady.com

Communication Failures At Work

Not interrupting conversations all the time

The following positive message is about “failures to communicate” in the workplace. What IF you could improve your communication skills and juice up your attitude in just four short minutes?

Why It’s NOT My Stuff

Interpersonally sensitive communicators, called Empathizer-type communicators, can inadvertently take on others’ problems, anger luggage and negative energy. Do you ever need to be more “thick-skinned” when immature comments are made about you, your decisions, performance or your motivations?

DETACHING FROM THE ENERGY DRAINS, THE CONSTANT TALK, TALK, TALK AND THE GUILT SMOKESCREENS LOBBED AT YOU

Our reader below uses a self-talk “communication trade secret” tool called: “IT’s NOT my stuff!” to set healthy interpersonal boundaries in the workplace. Might this same tool work for you?

Hi Dennis,

Do you know why it’s “not my stuff?” It’s all a matter of ownership. It’s not mine because I did not create it, buy it, borrow it or in any way make IT come into existence.

No amount of pleading or projection can make it mine, UNLESS and this is the caveat, I choose to care about it. When a boss or coworker cannot access my energy in an authentic way, I see that she or he are trying to hook into my empathetic nature.

Ironic twist of truth that I am more motivated for each of them to care about themselves than they seem to be. Your phrasing of that point caused me to examine my part in my interactions with them. Caring less doesn’t mean I don’t care, it simply means I choose to care to a point then accept the other’s right to self-determination.

Making my mark everyday and asking myself what I am appointed to do put the focus back on me. That’s the point. My unique ability to care is what I get to “bring to the table” everyday, it’s my mark. It also means I get to choose when I detach from the energy drains, the constant talk, talk, talk and the guilt smokescreens lobbed to me so I will feel sorry for those folks.

Dennis, I appreciate the opportunity you have “assigned” me, it is helpful to me to put into words what I have floating around in my mind and soul as I reflect on what we discuss. I’m looking forward to reading the article you referred to on Monday.

It’s just after ten and I have already used my self-talk…”It’s NOT my stuff!” twice this morning. Heck, I’m getting good at this!

Sincerely,

“Why let IT eat at ME…IT’s NOT my stuff!”

Venting Isn’t Talking

“Venters” are bulls who charge through the china shop

Venting isn’t talking. “We’ve got to talk!” can be the opening salutation of a useless discussion that carries repercussions. Venting is letting off steam or debating to win points instead of discussing. At its worst, venting is shredding the self-esteem of another with the purpose to gain the upper hand and resist relationship improvement.

Can we talk? What is “venting” and who are the “venters” among us? And how does venting differ from constructive talking?

In short, venting is taking out your anger on a talk partner.

“Venting” disrupts and distracts effective talking by pouring fuel onto the fire of dissatisfaction, smoldering anger or unfair fights.

In a power play, venting is shaming another person for being, feeling or believing what they do or are. “Spew on you!” is defensive-and it just plain doesn’t work in the passionate world of cool talk.

The Presidential 2008 Campaign: The MOM Party

Talk IT Out for a Change? What do you think?

IN case you’ve ever felt frustrated with your boss, of whatever gender, here is some straight talk in this crooked world from a THINKER and a DOER…and a beloved reader. (You will find many more stimulating reader ideas as we travel along together on the talk road less traveled.)

Hey, Dennis.

I don’t know if it’s age, wisdom that comes with age, or the fact that I’ve raised two teen-agers and lived to tell about it, but it’s getting harder and harder for me to just keep my mouth shut around here at work.

Do all egotistical CEOs love themselves so much that they can’t see how shallow they are sometimes????? Sometimes, they seem like junior high boys, slapping each other’s butts for the tiniest little accomplishments…and then they give themselves a raise or a new title or something, while the rest of us sit here, working our butts off for…reduced benefits and higher insurance premiums! Sigh…