Lucky Communication

ARE YOU LUCKY?
Are you lucky in communication? Of course you are. Shooting from the lip in a fast and careless manner is a recipe for disaster. You know that you make your own good communication luck. But, how do you make good luck happen when you’re feeling bad?

HOW DO YOU MAKE TODAY A LUCKY DAY OF POSITIVE COMMUNICATION?

Are you mindful of your own communicator power? Here are road signs that you are driving sensibly down the road of excellent communication, empowering everyone by exceeding expectations. YOU…

•    Take time to talk
•    Build communication bridges of trust
•    Think optimistically about people
•    Listen and hear more than you talk and tell
•    Are aware of your communication prejudices
•    Adjust your mood to avoid running into a ditch or wall
•    Apologize freely and joke often
•    Don’t go for “It’s my way or the highway” threats
•    Give a balanced diet of positive and negative feedback
•    Strive to improve your communication skills a little bit every single day
•    Don’t put off people who might have a bone to pick with you
•    Pump yourself up daily with encouraging self-talk
•    SMILE and make eyeball contact with newcomers
•    Clarify if what you hear being said is actually what is being said
•    Leave your ego at the door

ARE YOU TOO SENSITIVE OR NOT SENSITIVE ENOUGH TO WHAT WORKS?

How to start off on a good foot? Appreciate that Empathizers are TOO sensitive to the moods and opinions of others, but they don’t care enough for the self. Conversely, Instigators have plenty of respect for the self, while being LESS sensitive to the emotions of others. A balanced style works best.

By studying the TALK2ME© system, you will improve your communication results and mood. Not a bum deal.  Test your communicator type today for free at http://www.drogrady.com/type.php

Dr. Dennis O’Grady is a family business psychologist, individual counselor and couple communication expert from Dayton, Ohio. You can reach Dennis by calling 937-428-0724.

A Positive Tone Of Phone

You’re ready to make the call. The big phone call, that is. You want to send a friendly smile right through the handset of your phone. But you don’t like to talk on the phone. Any tools or tips for putting your best words forward in tense times like these? Yep, there sure are.

DO YOU PREFER THE INDIRECT OR DIRECT APPROACH TO TALK?

Let’s avoid unnecessary talk accidents. You don’t have to call in a 911-communication emergency or feel stalled out. However, you can match up better with the person you’re calling or who is talking with you. For example, you know that Empathizers like an indirect and quieter approach, while Instigators like a direct and louder approach. Neither way is better or worse. Which do you prefer – the I or the E way?

EMPATHIZER PHONE LISTENERS VS. INSTIGATOR PHONE SPEAKERS

What preferences do you exhibit? Do you always use what works for you when you are communicating? Not good. When you use the TALK2ME© system typecasting function, you know which type of talker you have on the other end of the phone line.

Preferences for packaging good talk….

1. E-types prefer to give the best correct answer, while I-types prefer a fast answer

2. E-types prefer to give a positive view of the project, while I-types prefer to give a realistic view of the project

3. E-types prefer to hear a calm voice tone, while I-types prefer to hear an impassioned voice tone

4. E-types prefer to warm things up by beating around the bush a little bit, while I-types prefer the “let’s get right to the point here” direct approach

5. E-types prefer that you lead the conversation, while I-types prefer being in charge by directing the conversation

6. E-types prefer person-driven solutions, while I-types prefer policy-driven solutions

7. Both Empathizers and Instigators prefer non-emotional communications that stick to the task at hand

MANAGING YOUR MOUTH

Words matter. Words can heal or open wounds. A negative phone attitude quickly sends the message, “I don’t have time to care for you, nor do I care to meet your needs!”

To project strength: Appeal to the communication type of your talk partner.

Dennis O’Grady, PsyD, is a clinical psychologist and corporate trainer in Dayton. He teaches powerful new communication tools using the TALK2ME© system. Reach Dr. O’Grady at 937-428-0724 or at www.drogrady.com.

A Positive Communication Climate

What factor – inspired by good communication – is response-able for TEAM UNITY in your book? Is it “Honesty is the best policy?” or “What goes around comes around?” or “Treat stress like water off a duck’s back?” Here’s what the communication team brainstormed in class not long ago:

Top ten ways to build a positive atmosphere of communication:

1.    Have a good plan

2.    Make your “to do” list #1

3.    Motivate by using a good mood

4.    When what you’re doing isn’t working out, take new steps

5.    Take a step back and accept when your personal communication power has been compromised by emotion

6.    Believe in yourself even when others act in disapproving, manipulative, or selfish ways

7.    Project strength: Don’t allow emotions to sidetrack forward progress to your goal

8.    Speak OUT…Listen UP…Seek out TEAM UNITY

9.    Show disapproval for negative actions

10.    Show approval for positive actions

Are you doing what works? Do you gripe and worry, too much of the time? Now lighten up! Do something new from the Top Ten List above, instead of circling the drain of depression.

Dennis O’Grady, PsyD, is a Dayton clinical psychologist and corporate trainer who teaches powerful new communication tools using the TALK2ME© system. Reach Dr. O’Grady at 937-428-0724 or at www.drogrady.com.

Building Bridges Of Trust And Respect

A good relationship is based on good communication skills that build bridges of trust and respect. What does that mean, exactly? One corporate TALK2ME© training class didn’t parcel opinions: “What’s good communication? Treat others on the team how you would like to be treated. And treat your customers the same way.” So, do you treat others to your good attitude even when you’re having a bad day? Of course you do.

A BAD OUTLOOK ON COMMUNICATION

Empathizer (more sensitive) and Instigator (less sensitive) communicators are all about using good outlooks to create good moods and team unity to produce profitable results. However, an Empathizer leader may appear weak when…

•    Giving too much credit without comparable performance
•    Thinking only of the team instead of looking after #1
•    Being self-doubting instead of self-confident
•    Looking too much at emotional causes instead of active solutions to problems
•    Allowing personal opinions (beliefs) to interfere with logic
•    Allowing transient emotions to affect mood
•    Permitting subordinates to manipulate leader sensitivities
•    Projecting weakness by wearing emotions on his/her sleeve
•    Struggling to have a strong individual opinion outside of team atmosphere
•    Lacking self-motivation when stretched thin or stressed
•    Showing appreciation in spite of negative actions

In particular, Empathizers feel strained and drained by these self-restrictive outlooks on life that reduce their productivity by 40%.

DO UNTO OTHERS BEFORE THEY CAN DO UNTO YOU…

Cynical “win at all costs” competitors die by using the motto: “I do unto others before they have a chance to do unto me!” Now, you know well enough how to build bridges of paranoia and disgust. Just make our problem my fault.

Dennis O’Grady, PsyD, is a Dayton clinical psychologist and corporate trainer who teaches powerful new communication tools using the TALK2ME© system. Reach Dr. O’Grady at 937-428-0724 or at www.drogrady.com.

Resolving Workplace Relationship Issues

DO YOU HAVE A STRONG PERSONALITY?

If you have a very strong personality, then chances are you’re an Instigator-type communicator. That means you can open your mouth and insert your foot in the wink of an eye. In contrast, your sensitive Empathizer co-workers have elephant-sized memories for snubs and slights that seem to them as though you’ve tried to cut off their heads.

Self-professed case profile of an Instigator-at-work communicator who unintentionally caused Empathizer co-workers discomfort…

…I’VE ALWAYS HAD A VERY STRONG PERSONALITY
I have a very strong personality, and I’ve wrestled with that all my life. I don’t really like having such a super-strong personality. I typically don’t attack anyone personally or use words that would tear a person down. “It’s not what he says – it’s how he makes me feel.”

…“IT’S NOT WHAT HE SAYS – IT’S HOW HE MAKES OTHERS FEEL!”
I’ve gotten negative feedback in my reviews. It’s not my intention, but sometimes I make others feel bad. There’s a common feedback theme: “It’s not what he says, it’s how he makes me feel.”

…THERE’S A BIG DIFFERENCE BETWEEN WHAT I’M INTENDING – AND HOW I’M BEING PERCEIVED
I never attack anyone. I never verbally badger. I don’t go after anyone’s person. I never attempt to tear anyone down. But the perception is that I intimidate people and make them feel devalued.

…I CAN TAKE IT – WHY CAN’T YOU?
You can beat me to death and I can take it. The reality is, I do a pretty good job of getting past anything like that.

…THE END RESULTS JUSTIFY THE MEANS, BECAUSE THEY ARE WHAT MATTER MOST
I’m all about getting results quickly and not wasting time. The means don’t matter as much as the results that you’re paid for. Still, most people prefer an empowered atmosphere to a suppressive atmosphere.

…I FEEL UNCONQUERABLE
I try to show confidence at all times. Other times I feel totally worthless. I will survive and be O.K. If my job were to end, I would be a bum.

…I’VE ALWAYS FEARED BEING UNDER SOMEBODY ELSE’S CONTROL
I am a control freak and can get irritated and impatient easily. I’ve told my boss: “If I were you, I would have fired me long ago.”

…A MASKED CHILDHOOD THAT WASN’T VERY GOOD
The older I get, the more my past haunts me. How poorly my parents equipped me to be the person I would like to be.

…ONCE AGAIN, I HAVE PEOPLE UPSET AT ME
I guess I’m very intimidating. I don’t always know how I’m coming across. People describe me as intense, and I’m not afraid of conflict or telling you what you don’t want to hear.

…THERE’S A CLOUD OF PURE STRESS HANGING OVER ME
I’m so stressed out, I make others uncomfortable. “What mood’s he in? Is he going to bite your head off today?” Even my dogs can tell when I’m stressed.

…ORDER AND CONTROL COMFORT ME
To me, there’s a way things must be if I’m going to be in charge. I’m going to do it my way….

IS THE MESSAGE YOU’RE SENDING, THE MESSAGE YOU’RE INTENDING?

If you’re accustomed to getting what you want by acting mad and talking bad and blaming others for the whole mess, then your day of reckoning is coming, and you will be in a head-on communication wreck. Did it come out of the blue? Nah. You read it here first at drogrady.com! Why not learn to be a more sensitive communicator, instead?

Dr. Dennis O’Grady is a relationship workplace communication expert and clinical psychologist from Dayton, Ohio. You can reach Dennis at 937-428-0724.