All posts by : Dr. Dennis O'Grady

E-COMMANDMENTS: EMPATHIZER COMMUNICATION COMMANDMENTS

If you want to relate to your opposite communicator type (Instigators vs. Empathizers) better, in order to get faster results that last, you must appeal to their talk style. Remember, one size communicator shoe doesn’t fit all!  What will make Instigators or I-types take you seriously if you are an E-type (or Empathizer) and trust and respect you (if anything will!)….

DON’T SOUND LIKE A CRICKET. Fire back. Speak loudly. Give your opinion even when unsure in confident tone of phone. This shows urgency and caring to I-types.
BE DECISIVE. Make a decision and get on with your day, rather than ruminating or re-visiting or thinking about it all day long. Being wishy-washy and indecisive forms a communication barrier that turns Instigators off cold.
PUSH BACK. Push back and interrupt. To an I-type, respect is debating and testing ideas out. Speak out. Speak up. Repeat yourself. Stand up for your ideas.
MANAGE YOUR MOOD. You are very competent, so do not allow your mood, which changes like the weather, tell you anything different. Set your mood tone to motivate and focus when you’re not feeling good. Bad moods put dangerous fog on the two-way communicator highway.
STOP BEATING AROUND THE BUSH. Time is money. Get to the point, already! Don’t fret about making mistakes which you can correct later on. No one will notice. Give off a sense of urgency. To I-types, time is money, and use of time instills self-worth.
ACT CONFIDENTLY. Speak up. Volunteer to do what you think might not be possible. Exude confidence when you are feeling low. Project a sense of urgency in your voice tone. Move in large movements and take up physical space. Use “lion” eye contact. Be the I-type who says, “Do something…right or wrong…just do something NOW!”
CORK THE EMOTIONAL VOLCANOES. Let go of the past. There is a time and season to forget about a past relationship and to push forward to the next change destination. Forgive the person. Stop dwelling and selling yourself doom and gloom. Get on down the road. Get ‘er done! E-types are experienced as “emotional volcanoes, “holding resentments non-verbally until it’s too late to hold back any longer. Then the explosion occurs, and the lava flows and shock waves are sent thoughout the I-type world. Then, the I-type lament: “It came out of the blue. I didn’t see it coming!”

Dr. Dennis O’Grady is the researcher and developer of the TALK2ME SYSTEM that works wonders with little effort. 937-428-0724.

WHAT IS THE POSTER CHILD OF A LEADER SERVANT?

When a boss and subordinate impact each other equally and respectfully, servant leadership is in motion and is clearly demonstrated. What are the characteristics of the leader servant poster child?

A Servant Leader:
•    is a level character.
•    normally does not demonstrate peaks and valleys of moods.
•    thinks clearly in agitating situations.
•    is a calming force.
•    is a great listener who listens closely.
•    utilizes toughness and sincere affection: If he’s in your face you’ve really done something wrong.
•    goes out of his/her way to make something right.
•    is likable.
•    is one whom people like to work with and go the extra mile for.
•    is accountable: Walks the talk.
•    is responsible: Gets great results.
•    does everything well.
•    learns from others.
•    is a trust builder.
•    is a mood maker.
•    gives respect to everyone.
•    closes the gap between doing well and doing even better.

TO LEAD IS TO SERVE…EVERYBODY HAS A CHANCE TO LEAD EVERY SINGLE DAY

“ The epitome of servant leadership is when the subordinate leads the boss, and there’s no confrontation in it. To quote Jim Hunter, ‘Character is our moral maturity, which is our willingness to do the right thing even when – perhaps especially when – it costs us something. In fact, I am not sure it can be an act of character unless it costs us something.’ (p. 144 The World’s Most Powerful Leadership Principle, James C. Hunter, 2004.)

EVERYBODY HAS A CHANCE TO LEAD EVERY DAY.  IF YOU COME INTO CONTACT WITH ANOTHER PERSON, YOU HAVE A CHANCE TO LEAD, AND THAT TAKES LEADERSHIP TO A WHOLE DIFFERENT LEVEL.”

‘Talk Doc’ psychologist Dennis O’Grady leads enlightening and enlivening workshops on The Responsibility of Leadership Utilizing The Talk2Me© System. Dennis is available at 937-428-0724.

WHAT DETERS EFFECTIVE TEAMWORK?

On the way to creating a Team Talk communication habits questionnaire, I asked leaders across multiple areas this question: What deters effective teamwork? The typical Empathizer-type leadership viewpoint is that lack of communication detours travel on the two-way communicator highway…. (In contrast, Instigator leaders believe lack of action detours problem solving.)

6 GOOD TEAM COMMUNICATION HABITS – EMPATHIZER STYLE

An Empathizer viewpoint of the enlightened team…

1. Purpose – goals – combined efforts
2. 2-way listening
3. Open talks
4. Honesty
5. Transmitting factual information
6. Open-mindedness from prejudices

…are the tall broadcasting stations of stellar communication that broaden our horizons.

WHAT DETERS EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION? LACK OF COMMUNICATION!

What our Empathizer team member and leader specifically had to say…

“Without communication, nothing else is possible. Team members cannot organize and combine their efforts. They cannot know what their roles are within the team. They cannot understand what their purpose is or what their goals are.

One deterrent to open, honest, clear communication is an unwillingness to listen. Unless one is willing to listen, one cannot receive information. We are all equipped with senses to receive information: ears to hear, eyes to see, noses to smell, fingers and skin with which to feel, tongues with which to taste. Willingness to listen means that we must allow others to speak.

Another deterrent to open, honest, clear communication is an unwillingness to talk. Unless one is willing to talk, one cannot transmit information. We are all equipped with means to transmit information: mouths to speak, eyes to blink or wink or roll, hands with which to sign or gesture, arms and legs which can be crossed or opened wide or swept in grand gestures. Our willingness to speak provides the opportunity for others to listen.

Communication is a two-way process. Without the willingness to give each team member the opportunity to speak, we will not hear what they have to say…and, we must listen actively – not merely give the appearance of listening. If we are not willing to give each team member the opportunity to listen, we will not say what he or she must hear.

Biases, prejudices, and pre-conceived notions also hinder communication, and ultimately, effective teamwork. When we uncritically filter our communications through the cloudy glass of biases, prejudices, and pre-conceived notions, the result is a muddled, diffuse aura of information. We can begin to compensate for their effects on our communications only when we are aware of the filters we carry with us, and how they influence our communications.”

THE CHOICE IS YOURS

Want to make a strong….smart…confident…team fly?

Empathizer Talk Team Winning Habit: Our willingness to speak provides the opportunity for others to listen.

Instigator Talk Team Winning Habit: Our willingness to listen provides the opportunity for others to speak.

In sum, without communication, nothing else is possible. With communication, anything is possible. The choice is yours.

EXCELLENCE IN COMMUNICATION

Everyone profits by traveling on the two-way communicator highway of Empathizer and Instigator communicators. What is your communication style? How do you avoid accidents on Communication Highway? How do you maximize your strengths and minimize your weaknesses to get positive results when the chips are down and the pressure is on? In his customized and interactive Talk Team workshops, Dr. Dennis O’Grady will help your team focus on how to be excellent communicators in both business and personal relationships.  To learn more, talk directly with Dr. Dennis O’Grady at 937-428-0724.

“It all boils down to good communication…always has and always will…”

GOOD TALK TEAM HABITS AT WORK

What communication strategies (or good talk habits) do excellent communicators use? Do you habitually use these seven keys to keep lines of communication open with your group?

1. MAKE YOURSELF ACCESSIBLE. Routinely ask, “How’s it going?” and listen with interest to the responses. Don’t isolate yourself in an office every day.

2. THINK AS A TEAM. Constantly build a We-Team and Can-do attitude vs. a Me-Team mindset. Don’t allow Can’t-ism to take hold.

3. INCLUDE ALL COMMUNICATOR TYPES IN DECISION-MAKING. Especially encourage your quieter Empathizer team members to speak up. Encourage your louder Instigator team members to listen up.

4. BE FLEXIBLE. Keep focusing on doing what works and making it just a little bit better each day.

5. CELEBRATE THE LITTLE THINGS. Celebrate the journey instead of the destination. Spread verbal appreciations around.

6. DEMONSTRATE INTEGRITY. Do what you say you are going to do when you say you are going to do it and be trustworthy in your communication habits.

7. MAKE IT A FUN PLACE TO WORK. Work and problem solving meetings are supposed to be fun, challenging, and enjoyable. Choose to be in a good mood even during dark times.

Use these simple yet effective leadership communication secrets as you ride along the two-way communication highway toward a town called Success.

Dennis O’Grady is a Dayton communications psychologist and author of Taking The Fear Out Of Changing, No Hard Feelings, and Talk To Me.  Dennis leads Team Talk seminars to improve team morale, creative problem solving, and positive mood attitude. He is available by calling 937-428-0724.