Could your comfort zone be in a coffin? For leader managers, that might mean not making time to talk to supervisors, or failing to delegate or push down leadership through the chain of command. For sales people, that might mean failing to call on top customers to review their current needs, or fearfully avoiding walking in new areas of the crop laden field, because you don’t understand Empathizer- or Instigator-type communicators’ preferences. Old limiting habits show up as well on customer satisfaction surveys.
THE INVISIBLE POWER OF THE COMMUNICATOR TABLE
Are you measured on how well you take time to talk with people? Most of us are. Individual Quality Leadership Climate Surveys are now part of the culture at Dayton Freight, an LTL Midwest trucking company. During the communications seminars I’ve led there, participants dust off the “Talk2Me© Driver’s Manual of Good Communication” to learn the basics of good communication. Essentially, T2M© uses a virtual Communicator Table surrounded by a “Let’s Talk Broadcasting System.” The positive talks which ripple out from the airwaves can guarantee superior results – profits soar, as does morale. But how do Empathizers and Instigators relate to “Lighthouses of Good Communication?” Let’s find out….
LIGHTHOUSE BEACONS OF GOOD COMMUNICATION
Most 360-degree satisfaction surveys promote a focus of “My manager takes time to talk to me.…” or “My manager is a better communicator because….” We all know communication is everything, and nothing much happens without it. Likewise, synergy (1+1=5) around the talk table occurs when you bridge the gaps between the two talk types. After all, one size shoe doesn’t fit all. When you know the talk type of your talk partner, you can roar down the road of good communication, processing the content of both positive and negative feedback. Essentially, knowing how Talk2Me© works allows you to use turn signals to forewarn the people with whom you work of your next move. Fewer costly accidents occur that could bubble up to H.R. and legal departments. Everyone feels duly recognized and respected.
SHARPENING YOUR TALK TOOLS
How can you achieve high performance rating scores of “A” on a Leadership Climate Survey? By knowing how Empathizers and Instigators use unique viewpoints and different pencils (E-types) and pens (I-types) to score the measures. The following real life answers came from a brainstorming session with leaders who were asked, “On which items will you soar? Which item will you be dinged on? What can you do about it NOW?”
TALK EXERCISE: Leadership Self-Evaluation. What does each item below uniquely mean to Instigator-type (I-types) vs. Empathizer-type (E-types) communicators?
1. TIME TO TALK. I-types don’t need long conversations, while for E-types it’s an absolute must.
2. FAIRNESS. I-types need fewer strokes after receiving critical feedback, while E-types need a lot of love.
3. LISTENS. I-types’ concerns are factual and logical, while E-types’ concerns are emotionally and relationally based.
4. PRAISE. An I-type looks at ‘no news is good news,’ while an E-type will need more reinforcement on a regular basis to stay motivated and energized.
5. CORRECTIONS. An I-communicator needs more facts and logic publicly and will become defensive and push back when criticized, while an E-communicator will become anxious and move away to gather facts alone.
6. SELF-CONTROL. I-types need statistics so they can tell where they’re standing within the group pecking order, while E-types focus on words to tell them how well they’re carrying their individual weight.
7. RESPECT. I-types don’t need a lot of close supervision and glean respect through self-direction, while E-types prefer relationship interactions, which amplify feedback and respect for their feelings, values, and family situations.
8. CARES ABOUT ME. I-types don’t care if you care, while demonstrations of caring are very important to E-types.
9. TEAMWORK. I-types look through a lens of recent events to judge teamwork, while E-types look through a lens of past best practices.
10. SAFETY. I-types think of physical safety in the here and now, while E-types think of a safe emotional atmosphere.
11. MAKES WAVES. I-types are more aggressive to get tools needed to enhance performance, while E-types quietly assume the company will provide them.
12. TRAINING EDUCATION. Because I-types confidently think, “I know what I’m doing.” training is perceived to be less important, while E-types value training more as an “I can always know more.” confidence booster.
13. SATISFY CUSTOMERS. I-types primarily consider customers to be external to the company, while E-types will look from an internal or universal customer perspective.
14. NICE OR ICE. I-types strategically look at what customers can do for the company, while E-types look at what they can do for everyone, including customers.
15. COMFORT CRITICIZING. I-types are more comfortable correcting negative behaviors, while E-types are more comfortable looking the other way or avoiding making difficult corrections.
16. CHANGE. I-types need stronger and louder corrections to get their change attention, while E-types need weaker and softer corrections to change their ways.
17. FEEL GOOD. I-types need respect, while E-types need to feel appreciated.
18. MONEY. I-types first judge their personal performance based on money, while E-types first measure their professional performance based on who’s been helped.
19. BENEFITS/SECURITY. I-types and E-types alike need the security of health care, retirement, profit sharing, and fair pay for hard work.
20. OVERALL A GOOD DEAL. Overall satisfaction for I-types is measured by high levels of competence and low feelings of resentment. Overall satisfaction for E-types is measured by high levels of connectedness and low feelings of rejection. This single measure determines if a leader or employee stays on or leaves.
MEAN WHAT YOU SAY AND SAY WHAT YOU MEAN…WOULD LIKE TO GET A GRADE OF “A” ON YOUR COMMUNICATION REPORT CARD?
Now, you know how to mean what you say and say what you mean as you glean new meaning through the lens of your, and your opposite’s, communicator type.
ABOUT “TALK DOC” COMMUNICATIONS PSYCHOLOGIST DENNIS E. O’GRADY, PSY.D.
Dr. Dennis O’Grady is the “Talk Doc” and president of the Dayton Area Psychological Association, as well as the developer of the TALK TO ME© positive and effective corporate communication training system. Why invest in a process that will improve your communication skills fast, in both personal and work relationships? When you use the tools and strategies detailed in Talk to Me: Communication Moves to Get Along With Anyone, you’ll find that it’s easy to keep your car in the center of Talk Highway, leaving the ditch to those communicators who shout out “It’s my way or the highway!”
