All posts by : Dr. Dennis O'Grady

What are the benefits of going from a good to a great communicator? Will your company or family post record profits, fire up motivation, boost morale, come up with better solutions to pesky problems, measure produced results and have a smile on all the faces around the communicator table if you do improve your communication status? You can bet your compass of effective leadership communication on it!

THE 9 PERSONAL BENEFITS OF GOOD COMMUNICATION

But don’t take my word on it. Listen to the most often cited “personal reasons” for using the TALK TO ME communication system:

1. Energy and empathy improves…“Where does he/she get all his/her energy and compassion?”

2. Mood bumps up to the positive…“Nothing much seems to get you down for very long!”

3. Self-inflicted worry and anxiety declines…“Why run yourself in circles or beat your head against a wall?”

4. Enjoying diversity…“They really seem to enjoy people from all walks of life!”

5. The light-bulb effect turns on…“My relationships no longer derail me from doing what’s good for me.”

6. Impossible people don’t make you reel…“Difficult people are no longer so difficult!”

7. Improved problem-solving…“I let go of relationship or work situations that aren’t working.”

8. Talking positively to self…“I have a far better inner-personal relationship with my self.”

9. Optimistic attitude…“I have more vitality, less depressive thinking, irritations don’t ruin my day.”

GET A GOOD GRIP ON THE COMMUNICATOR CAR STEERING WHEEL, BECAUSE YOU ARE THE LEADER OF YOUR OWN LIFE

Hey, if you want to keep getting a speeding ticket for being a fast talker, or running into the same walls and problems over and over again, then pay no attention while you drive down the Communicator Highway. But if you want to be as happy (mostly) as you are setting out on a vacation, then try on for size the benefits of positive and effective communication driving skills at home and work.

COMMUNICATE POSITIVELY AND EFFECTIVELY…BE THE LEADER OF YOUR OWN LIFE

Dennis E. O’Grady, Psy.D., is a corporate trainer, professional keynote speaker, and effective leadership communication seminar leader. Dennis is the developer of the powerful new communication system found only in his book “Talk to Me:  Communication Moves To Get Along With Anyone.” He is the founder of New Insights Communication, and is a Clinical Professor at the Wright State University School of Professional Psychology in Dayton, Ohio.

Foggy communicators really fog things up… looking around while they’re driving, drinking coffee, talking on a cell phone, hollering at another driver, turning up the hit song on the radio, and guess what? You get steamed like a sardine. Well, we all act like idiots sometimes. We all push people away out of awareness using bad talk moves. There are no bad apples in the communication orchard, because we all can learn smooth communication moves.

NO BAD APPLES IN THE COMMUNICATION ORCHARD?

Jesse Jackson said, “Never look down on anybody unless you’re helping him up.” 14 ways to tell if you’re talking from a me-centered vs. a relationship-centered perspective that shuts down good talk:

1. Negative communication is hard work. Nothing is straightforward or simple with the bad communicator, so getting straight talk from their crooked world is near impossible.

2. Blocked communication. Bad communication blocks and all but closes down the ability to change. Open communication means listening to constructive negative feedback instead of firing sympathetic souls who insist on speaking a truth you may not want to hear.

3. One-way communication. One-way talk strives to win at all costs. Bad communicators aren’t generous, and in fact are very stingy. Winning is perceived as “taking more instead of giving more.”

4. Dishonest communication. Bad communicators play stupid games and change the rules of the game or the time left to play it. They justify “cheating” when caught with “BUT I didn’t mean to…my bad!”

5. Controlling communication. Unethical communicators live for the thrill of control. “The harder I try to control, the behinder I get in all my relationships!” is not the awareness the control freak “gets.”

6. Me-centered communication. It’s just all-ways always about what’s convenient or inconvenient for me, in my never-ending quest to never-ever want to appear to be in the wrong or willing/able to admit that I’m anything less than a perfect know-it-all.

7. “Poor, poor, pitiful me” communication. Sob stories make us all feel sympathetic, when we assume that life happens TO you instead of WITH you. When there are victims and villains, psychodrama abounds.

8. “I’m owed big-time” communication. Victim talkers are hard to pin down with all their “road noise.” They expect extra compensation from your insurance company for the troubles they’ve seen.

9. Lazy communication. Lazy communication closes down talk avenues by erecting roadblocks, while active or open communication builds bridges.

10. Aggressive communication. Bully communicators won’t take no for an answer; they’ll hammer away at your point of view until you give in or give up your right to talk.

11. Change-resistive communication. Resisting change means you don’t change what isn’t working, or open-mindedly adopt “mini experiments” to uncover what will work better.

12. Head-spinning communication. A talker who refuses to admit that he or she is wrong, and implies that the responsibility to “fix” the problem resides somewhere else. A head-spinner tells you that you’ve got to figure this huge puzzle out all by your lonesome.

13. Apples-to-oranges communication. Fast talkers switch topics and connive to convince you that a shriveled grape is a red shiny apple, or that apples and oranges are alike and interchangeable.

14. Distracting communication. Miscommunication is a constant cycle of self-doubt and second-guessing. It’s like a track wreck waiting to happen to a car as it tries to beat the odds of getting across the tracks before the crossbar drops.

You can tell a lot about a person by how they drive. When you’re cut off in traffic, how do you react? Empathizer-type drivers typically default to the other driver getting ahead, while Instigator-type drivers can lose their cool more easily when falling behind.

CAN’T QUITE PIN DOWN A SLIPPERY TALKER?

Slippery and slick passive-aggressive communicators play by their own rules and thwart yours. They key your parked car, leaving a long scratch down the side of it. Later, they will astound you by implying that you are to blame for parking your car in the wrong spot.

A SQUARE PEG IN A ROUND HOLE

Are you bruising your hands and making your knuckles bleed by trying to force the square peg of a bad communicator into the round hole of good communication? Put simply: There’s nothing to figure out because a bad communicator simply makes bad things happen.

ABOUT COMMUNICATIONS PSYCHOLOGIST AND CORPORATE TRAINER DENNIS E. O’GRADY, PSY.D.

Dr. Dennis O’Grady is a professional keynote speaker and leadership communication consultant who is the developer of the Talk to Me: Communication Moves To Get Along With Anyone system. The system assists managers be better communicators, and builds high-quality teamwork, that nets better decisions that are easier to implement and produce measurably positive results. You’ll be on higher ground when you understand that Empathizer and Instigator communicators are like apples and oranges, each perfectly acceptable in their own light, and very different in your eyes when you can see.

I recently visited my elder mom at the Life Care Center of Sarasota, a rehabilitation center. Mom had fallen and broken her hip in four places, and after intensive surgery, she was recovering slowly. I was comforted by team members who were friendly, positive, Johnny on the spot, and who took time to talk to me and asked: “Is there something I can do to help?” Team members said they liked to work at LCC, because the owner-leader at the center began the business when he couldn’t find a good place for his mother to heal. “Would you send your mother here?” is the mission focus. My answer is a booming, “You bet your bipper, gipper!”

THE MOST COMMON REASON FOR SUCCESS IS THE ABILITY TO COMMUNICATE POSITIVELY AND EFFECTIVELY

What makes all the difference between a low-performing and a high-performing team? Ever think about that? Put more personally: How can you or I wreck good communication. How can we together build a high-performing team, one that produces positive customer results? Here’s how:

COMMUNICATION WRECK #1: SET MEDIOCRE GOALS.The high-performing team sets high goals with a smile, will go the extra mile to accomplish them, and will steer clear of feeling smug while failing to set big enough goals.

COMMUNICATION WRECK #2: IGNORE PROBLEMS.The high-performing team solves mouse- and elephant-size problems alike, and steers clear of ignoring or justifying either in any room during dark or bright times.

COMMUNICATION WRECK #3: BE LAZY. The high-performing team works hard, but hardly feels the time fly by, and steers clear of being a sporadic mood-driven worker.

COMMUNICATION WRECK #4: FEEL INSECURE. The high-performing team projects confidence and exudes warmth, and steers clear of being too low or too high in self-esteem.

COMMUNICATION WRECK #5: CARRY A RIGID MINDSET. The high-performing team uses a resilient mindset and carries a coping flashlight, and steers clear of pessimism so good ideas will take flight and light up the night.

COMMUNICATION WRECK #6: STICK WITH THE TRIED-AND-UNTRUE. The high-performing team doesn’t keep doing more and more of what isn’t working, and steers clear of ditching new brainstormed solutions to old bothersome problems.

COMMUNICATION WRECK #7: BE A ‘YES’ PERSON. The high-performing team isn’t afraid to say “no” or “yes” or “maybe so” when occasion dictates, and steers clear of “nicey-nice ‘yes’ men and women” who exchange wishful thinking for reality.

COMMUNICATION WRECK #8: DISHONESTY. The high-performing team speaks honestly and ethically, keeps its’ promises and effectively doesn’t change the rules of the game when behind.

COMMUNICATION WRECK #9: CAN’T TRUST YOU. The high-performing team is trustworthy, accountable, humble, fun-loving, respectful of blind spots, dependable, personal, doesn’t take failure personally, encouraging. It’s a bunch of quiet leaders who are quite stunning performers when led by a like-minded leader.

COMMUNICATION WRECK #10: SPREAD STRESS AROUND. The high-performing team handles stress well, and uses joking, teasing, acts of random kindness, sharing personal stories, checking up on team members who feel down, and getting ahead by going ahead; they aren’t afraid to laugh at fear in the face.

Relationship-centered teams are trustworthy, effective and ethical. In short, TEAMwork is a far different call of the wild than MEwork.

THE MOST COMMON FAILURE OF TEAMS TO THRIVE

The most common reason for failure is the inability to communicate effectively and positively, which keeps the team engine tuned up periodically and humming and purring along smoothly. Employees lose morale when they feel treated like losers or are made to feel like a bucket of old rusty bolts that are good for nothing.

ABOUT DAYTON, OHIO, CORPORATE TRAINER DENNIS E. O’GRADY, PSY.D.

Keynote speaker, corporate trainer and communications psychologist Dr. Dennis O’Grady teaches leader managers and teams to use the “Talk to Me” system to achieve high-performing communication results. By knowing your communicator type, and knowing the type of your opposite whom you have difficulty with, you will be more likely to produce the positive results that persistently and consistently keep you and your company on the winning track, and off from the whining rack. The Web page of Life Care Centers of America at Sarasota is www.lcca.com who live the belief that “The sun setting is no less beautiful than the sun rising.”

Are you a powerful or mediocre communicator? Do you communicate in open or closed ways? Great leaders from all walks of life have “uncommon common sense.” Let’s find out if your personal leadership style is a “Talk to me because I will listen to you!” approach when seated around The Communicator Table at work or home:

1. Closed vs. open communication. Talk is all about the place I’m coming from vs. the place you’re coming from.

2. Blocked vs. flowing communication. Talk is all about who’s the most confident speaker vs. hitting the ball back-and-forth in a dialogue.

3. Stop vs. go communication. Talk is all about interrupting or speaking over the speaker vs. dishing out good questions.

4. One-way vs. two-way communication. Talk is all about “the right or my way” to go vs. “the positive and effective way” to produce results.

5. Foggy vs. clear communication. Talk is all about steering clear of being held responsible vs. steering towards being response-able and account-able.

6. Fast vs. slow communication. Talk is all about getting there faster than the jumpy hare vs. progressively moving towards your change destination like the Tortoise.

7. Ineffective vs. effective communication. Talk is all about not hurting others or turning anyone off or making them mad vs. feeling energized by a frank discussion.

8. Problems vs. solutions communication. Talk is all about telling you why what you want to try won’t work vs. measuring the results of small experiments for change.

9. Regressive vs. progressive communication. Talk is all about worshipping and maintaining the status quo vs. progressively making things better in little ways that net large dividends in the longer term.

10. Negative vs. positive communication. Talk is all about “It’s not my fault because you’re to blame for the problem!” vs. “Fix the problem not the person!” brainstorming sessions.

11. Pessimistic vs. optimistic communication. Talk is all about the water glass soon being empty vs. the glass can be full to overflowing when you wish it to be so.

12. Draining vs. energizing communication. Talk is all about the straw stuck in your skull draining vitalizing energy vs. you light up like fireworks on the 4th of July.

13. Me-centered vs. relationship-centered communication. Talk is all about how life isn’t a fair and square deal vs. following fair play relationship rules where everyone is made to feel important.

14. Attack mode vs. sympathizer communication. Talk is all about being aggressive to bully your way vs. feeling sympathetic to the problems we all encounter as human beings and worker bees.

15. Taking away vs. giving away communication. Talk is all about punishers and expectations of loss and mayhem vs. giving way so others can get their way.

16. “Talk is cheap” vs. “talk is priceless” communication. Talk is all about what’s supposed to happen vs. the results that have already been done.

17. Depressive vs. expressive communication. Talk is all about why anyone in his or her right mind constantly wears a frown vs. when life sucks just be glad you don’t.

Does your communication style cause more problems than it solves? Communication matters in business matters!

ABOUT KEYNOTE SPEAKER, CORPORATE TRAINER AND RELATIONSHIP EXPERT DENNIS E. O’GRADY, PSY.D.

Dr. Dennis O’Grady is a communications psychologist with over 30 years experience in the fields of psychotherapy, communication, relationship enhancement and organizational development. He has developed and researched a new communication system that will boost company profits and morale when employees check off the feedback box, “My manager does a better job at communicating.” Dr. O’Grady’s “effective leadership communication” system is featured in his third book “Talk to Me: Communication Moves To Get Along With Anyone” which is available at www.drogrady.com and at Amazon. Dennis is licensed to drive on the two-way communicator highway. Do you know who you’re talking to by type?

Have you ever felt like you were stuck on a big speed bump of life, and worried that you were going to stay there, past forever? Many leaders feel that way when strong wills and big ideas clash around the communicator table at work. Too many titans trying to drive the communicator car at the same time can create frustration and a stagnation of creative problem-solving.

MY MANAGER OR BOSS IS A GOOD COMMUNICATOR WHO LISTENS WITH INTEREST TO ME?

Are you a narrow-minded but long-winded communicator who doesn’t listen with interest? Nope. You are becoming a better communicator as we speak. Good managers and leaders who communicate effectively have fired-up employees who check off this important company-wide feedback box: “My manager is a good communicator who listens to me with interest.”

RESULTS-DRIVEN DECISIONS THAT WORK

I design personalized, process- and content-centered results-driven management communication training programs for companies who take their communication seriously. Why is communication everything? Clear communication delivers results, while “foggy” communication produces negative or no results. Like, duh.

LET’S TALK COMMUNICATION LEADERS

Here’s what reliably takes place in your team when you use the “Talk to Me” communication system:

1. “We Team” vs. “Me Team” synergy. The TALK2ME system combines the energies of all parties to ignite the heart and soul of the entrepreneurial spirit, the same spirit that is driven to succeed by driving over the speed bumps of life.

2. Happy employees. Don’t laugh. You want to inspire your employees to feel important and keep them happily and productively working for your company. The TALK2ME communication system boosts employee morale.

3. Communication laziness. Public and corporate enemy No. 1 is cynicism, going along to get along, pessimism about people and change, close-mindedly continuing to do what doesn’t work, half-honesty, telling leaders only what they want to hear, saluting a false sense of security, refusing to use measured results to adjust in-flight courses of action. In short, communication laziness.

4. Clear communication gets you off the speed bump you’re stuck on. The “unique communicator mix” of your management or employee team is discovered and capitalized upon by using the New Insights Communication Inventory–Leadership Survey or NICI-LS. That way you can tell who you’re talking to by type AND include everyone’s best ideas, even those who may feel too shy to speak up.

5. Pulling an elephant out of the hat. The two leadership communication styles of Empathizer- (E-type) and Instigator-type (I-type) communicators, use different driving lanes and rules to talk and live by. For example, I-types assertively speak out at meetings, while E-types more often only speak when spoken to. So companies are only benefiting from half-a-brain, which is akin to ignoring the elephant in the room, or trying to pull it out of a hat.

6. The “communicator table” produces the best results you seek. When both E- and I-type communicators are seated around the invisible “communicator table” (or riding in the communicator car) and talking openly and equally, spontaneously produces positive synergestic (1+1=3) strategic decisions whose results will benefit everyone.

7. Ability to implement “keep it simple” marketing “experiments” that get results. We all have experienced frustration when a “good plan” is “half-done then dropped.” The ability to measure results against idea plans, and talk honestly and openly about the results, makes us all walk our talk.

8. The biggest complaint I run into when I consult with companies is this one: “Managers are perceived as NOT being very good communicators.” By being trained in, and using, the “Talk to Me” communication system your managers will be evaluated as “better communicators.”

9. The second biggest complaint is that leader managers who are poor communicators don’t “listen with interest.” In other words, poor communicators just listen long enough to jump into the conversation to monologue about their preferred position of action. Not good!

10. Why bother with open lines of communication that are results-focused? Well, your best employees will stick around, new “A” players will chomp at the bit to join your team, company morale will soar, personal energy will sizzle, difficult people will drop out, and better ideas and thus better solutions will be generated and more likely to be strategically implemented. Using the TTM system, creative solutions are brainstormed that take your breath away in simplicity and effectiveness.

11. We all love change, now don’t we? The TALK2ME system beckons all of the workforce family to let go of doing what isn’t working but is the favorite idea child, and grab hold of what quietly does work to get where you want to go. Namely, the land of huge payoffs that benefit everyone.

REALIZING EXISTING POTENTIALS

The biggest threat to your company is the strangulation hold of mediocre to poor communication. Getting too comfortable with your communication style, will make you nap like the Hare in the parable the Tortoise and the Hare and lose the race.

USING THE TALK TO ME (TTM) COMMUNICATION SYSTEM

I will design a personalized, results-driven program for the facilitation of management communication training within your corporate environment today. Call so we can sit down and “just talk” about the outcomes you wish to produce. The defined program will incorporate the “Talk to Me” communication system within the work dynamic at your company, thereby increasing the effectiveness of the communication exchange and workflow while promoting a positive team dynamic. In short, you will get great results using good communication strategies.

ABOUT MANAGEMENT AND LEADERSHIP COMMUNICATION CONSULTANT DR. DENNIS O’GRADY, PSY.D.

Dr. Dennis O’Grady is the author of three works, and the developer and originator of the “Talk to Me” leadership communication training programs. Positive results are quickly produced and measured using this system which is personally led by Dr. Dennis O’Grady who is a communications psychologist from Dayton, Ohio, USA. He can be reached by phone at (937) 428-0724 or on the Internet at www.drogrady.com. “Talk to Me: Communication Moves To Get Along With Anyone” describes his powerful new communication system that will work for your company or family. Dennis is also a “relationship communication expert” and is the father of three daughters, two of whom are teenagers. Dr. O’Grady will help you drive down the two-way communicator highway today, instead of stay stuck on a speed bump of life that can bum out everyone’s creative energy, motivation and needed synergy. His book is available at Amazon.