Troubled Parent-Teen Communications

Troubled parent-teen communications are like trying to drive your car when the kids are fighting in the backseat. As you attempt to keep your eyes on the road and your mind on the tense conversation, you lose your cool and feel like a fool who has lost control. Plus, you’re mad that people aren’t following the rules you live by, and someone needs to be set straight. So do you smack a fellow passenger, or pull over and give him or her a piece of your mind, or quietly seethe inside.

ROAD SIGNS THAT THERE ARE NOT OPEN LANES OR LINES OF COMMUNICATION WITH YOUR TEEN

Poor parent-teen communication has certain off-ramp signs on the fast-moving two-way adult-teen communications highway. Some of these signs are obvious: talking with your kids about cell phone use, peer pressure, dating, driving, drug or alcohol use or sexual issues (including requiring a cell phone with a GPD tracking device) may pose problems:

1. Family arguments. The co-parents have yelling matches when differences of opinion occur.

2. An “I avoid controversy and relationship stress by going with the flow!” attitude. There is an “elephant in the room” that increasingly stinks as differences and healthy confrontation are avoided.

3. Or there is a constant battle between the parent and teen. Debates escalate while problem-solving takes a hike.

4. Each communicator scolds the other one for being a control freak. Interrupting, talking over, talking louder, and sounding like a broken record occur as a result of delivering the same lecture for the 1,000th time.

5. Mistrust and resentment. Emotionally feeling frustrated, hopeless and helpless after attempting “We’ve got to talk about it!” sessions. Not picking your battles carefully enough.

6. Broken promises. Positive change is promised but the promised results are not delivered upon on a constant basis.

7. Questions are reacted to as criticism. Attempts to talk feel like attacks, and talkers get mean and hit below the belt.

8. Logician magicians. Legalistic arguments and hair-splitting replace easy honesty.

9. An “I can’t talk to you!” dark cloud hangs over the home. “Take-away” discipline is done as the teen digs in his or her heels.

If you have to try really, really hard to talk, then chances are you can’t talk to your teen about major things without a battle that brings everyone down.

TALK TO YOUR TEEN

There are plenty of ways to talk rationally with your teen to teach problem-solving and decision-making skills. After all, instead of lecturing constantly, wouldn’t you instead prefer a teen who can find facts and make good decisions under pressure? So where to begin: First you must know if your teen is an Empathizer-type communicator who is afraid to speak up for fear of conflict, or an Instigator-type communicator who isn’t afraid to debate until the cows come home. Which type of teen are you talking to?

YOUR TEEN ISN’T CLUELESS, ARE YOU?

“There’s nothing effective I can do about it!” is nonsense. The reason teen talks are so difficult is because they often trigger YOUR unresolved issues from adolescence. When those issues/memories are triggered, you will activate the same tired lecture you were given as a teen that didn’t work very well for you, either. Being independent while remaining response-able in a family group isn’t for chickens.

LET’S TALK

Dr. Dennis O’Grady is a Dayton, Ohio, communications psychologist and professional keynote speaker whose latest book is “Talk to Me: Communication Moves To Get Along With Anyone.” His articles on positive and effective communication strategies are available for free at www.drogrady.com. He is the father of two teenage daughters, and one pre-teen, all of whom can make him careen on the communication highway as if driving on slippery ice in spite of his best efforts to keep his eyes on the road. In his personal experience, Dennis has learned that teens call upon all of us to improve our communication skills in spite of our feelings of frustration or helplessness, feelings that aren’t resolved by driving like a control-freak maniac.

Do You Have A Bad Boss?

A bad boss creates very negative outcomes in the world in which he or she lives and works. In my powerful new communication system, 75% of leaders are Instigator-type communicators, or I-types. A good leader is a good communicator who improves steadily and readily every day. Although only 16% of bosses are “bad drivers” on the “two-way communication highway”…a bad boss can wear you down and make you frown and sow dissension and fraction in the team car and drive away your best people.

BAD BOSS, BAD BOSS, WHAT YA’ GOIN’ TO DO?

How to know when a beast of a boss stresses you, besets your self-esteem and wears you down until the light of your soul is dimmed:

1. Boyish or girlish charm. The bad boss can grin from ear-to-ear, and appear sort of funny and non-threatening at first.

2. Speaks strongly. The bad boss sounds super-confident and all-knowing, including the bad things that will befall you if you don’t go along with the program and toe the party line.

3. Loved or hated. The bad boss causes frictions and fractions that divide fellow workers who either extremely love and worship…or hate and revile the bad boss.

4. Takes credit where credit isn’t due. The bad boss is the first to imply that it was something he or she did or said that brought about the positive outcome by working cooperatively with people from all walks of life.

5. Shifts blame. The bad boss will glibly say “I’m responsible for…” but will also imply in the same breath that “I couldn’t help it!”

6. Speaks in platitudes. The bad boss will have you salute what isn’t working by bringing up “what’s right and what’s wrong” and “what’s good for the company and what’s a threat to the company.” Platitudes don’t allow talk latitude.

7. Plays favorites. The bad boss dispenses rewards to those who salute the status quo, and permits blame to be shifted to others.

8. Messes up. The bad boss creates very extremely negative outcomes, such as bringing down the company, couple, family, business, church, organization or making them go ’round and ’round from one crisis to the next battle.

9. Doesn’t like change. The bad boss will change a little bit when the heat is on or feeling pressured, then change right back to the way things were.

10. A “do more!” of what isn’t working approach. The bad boss will do more (escalate) of what’s not working in the first place. If over-spending is the problem, he or she will spend more. If talking down to others is the problem, he or she will belittle and argue more when not spied upon.

TRAITS OF THE GOOD BOSS

I-type leaders often tell me: “I only wish I had known about this communication approach sooner to keep lines of communication open. I’ve used my powers to create situations without recognizing what was going on. Now, I’m mindful and aware that I will create results either negative or positive if I don’t stay aware of the talk lanes I’m driving in.”

A good boss is effective and ethical and doesn’t change the rules of the game as he or she goes along. A good boss is a good communicator of honesty, effective listening skills that show respect for all people and problem-solving skills that benefit everyone.

“IF I WERE YOU I’D….”

A bad boss is perfectly comfortable thinking that they know how to run your life. Who knows, perhaps they do. However, your frustration is caused by a bad boss who also likes to hear him- or herself talk, browbeats others, always thinks he or she is “right,” kisses up to superiors while talking down to subordinates. And you know you’re right, don’t you? Colleagues or kids will tell you a bad boss (mate, teacher, supervisor, etc.) has a “You’re bad and I’m better!” attitude, makes empty promises, makes you feel stupid, moves things forward into the next hole, are pot stirrers, negaholics, and debaters to a fault.

CORRALLING THE BAD BOSS

So what can you tell yourself or do when you’re energy is being drained by a bad boss with the help of a big straw stuck in your skull? Well, you can “talk back” in your head using the “Talk to Me” communication system by using these sort of punchy attitudes:

  • “Good results are the all of everything!”
  • “I dare to care but I won’t be taken advantage of!”
  • “You can hang yourself, but I don’t have to hang with you!”
  • “That’s a road I don’t want to go on with you!”
  • “I don’t have to eat the manure sandwich you hand me!”
  • “I’m not a control freak but a peace freak who contributes!”
  • “Middle-of-the-road works better than going to extremes!”
  • “I don’t suffer from my own knee jerk, me-jerk reactions!”
  • “Perhaps the best decision for me is to stay away from you!”

YOU CAN HANG YOURSELF…BUT I DON’T HAVE TO HANG WITH YOU

You may have a “lemon” for a boss, and with any luck, you won’t have one for too long. In any case, most of us have “difficult people” in our life who are teaching us tough life choices and touchy life lessons. Bottom line: You get to choose the road you wish to drive your communicator car down. Choose your road carefully because some communication trips are more enjoyable than others. So make your life your full-time job, today!

ABOUT DAYTON, OHIO, COMMUNICATIONS PSYCHOLOGIST AND KEYNOTE SPEAKER DR. DENNIS O’GRADY

Dr. Dennis O’Grady recommends that you choose your road traveled carefully because some communication trips are more enjoyable to go on than others. O’Grady shows you how the two types of communicators, Empathizers and Instigators, have completely different views of what makes the world go ’round or stop spinning altogether. As a custom, Empathizers don’t take “the easy way” … because E-types are prone to making life too hard for themselves now and then. In contrast, the Instigators aren’t accustomed to taking “the hard way” because I-types are prone to making life too easy for themselves now and then. Either way, positive and effective communication supports you in making decisions that move you down the roads you will find most pleasing to you at any given time in your life. Dr. O’Grady is a professional keynote speaker and seminar leader, and author of “Talk to Me: Communication Moves To Get Along With Anyone” available at this site and Amazon now.

Let Freedumb Ring

There is a freedom that comes from being a “know-it-little.” It is the freedom to make a mistake, fix a mistake, change what isn’t working and do more of what works wonders to become the valedictorian of your own life class. Are you at the head of the class of first-class communicators? The “freedom to learn” is the “big dream” of the person who was born to do big things. The “need to be right” is the “little delusion” of the little person with a little closed mind playing Mr. or Ms. Big Shot.

PEOPLE WHO KNOW-IT-ALL DON’T KNOW ANYTHING AT ALL

People who know-it-all don’t know anything at all. Habit #3 of highly effective communicators is to “be a know-it-little” because it makes you “listen up” and be “open-minded” to learning new things. It helps you “receive creative solutions” to stale old problems that have flummoxed you for eons. Here’s my logic about why being consciously “ignorant” is freeing:

  • If you always have to be right, you can’t ever be wrong.
  • If you can’t be wrong, you can’t admit to making mistakes.
  • If you can’t be curious about the mistakes you make, you can’t change anything.
  • If you can’t change anything, your past mistakes are repeated and re-created in the present day.

Needing “to be right” instead of “get the results you’ve promised” gets you stuck in a going-nowhere life of worry, dread and dastardly deeds run amok.

COMMUNICATION FREEDOM OR COMMUNICATION DETOURS?

Producing results, whether negative or positive, is what traveling on the two-way communication highway is all about. “Communication freedom” comes from the freedom to admit when you’re lost, and stop to ask for directions. Here is why and how detours are mentally taken:

1. I’m not good at accepting responsibility for my mistakes.

2. My first reaction is that somebody else is to blame, not me.

3. Every time I do something wrong, it’s spun around into “I’m the victim here so it’s not my fault!”

4. The reality I never want to accept is that I made a bad decision and am stupid.

5. When I only look at the short term, I make poor decisions that produce frustrating results in the long term.

6. If there is a problem, it’s always your issue.

7. What YOU think is so, ain’t necessarily so.

8. Why penalize me? I’m not going to do it again.

9. Things always work out pretty good for me.

10. I get off on a tangent that’s not relevant.

11. I’m so busy I don’t have time for my relationships, because I need to decompress on the weekends.

12. I don’t allow others to make me feel bad for what I didn’t have any control over and couldn’t help.

13. I dread talking about it and getting down.

14. I don’t have to fix a problem that isn’t my fault.

15. If I dislike a person’s attitude, I don’t have to listen to him or her.

Now that’s a fine kettle of fish. With this type of “It’s not my fault” communication disorder, it’s a wonder that we ever talk at all about how to change what isn’t working. Well, perhaps we can now!

SO SAY IT LOUD AND PROUD … “I’M HAPPY TO BE A KNOW-IT-LITTLE!”

Be a know-it-little. Yup, you got that right. Feel free to be dumb, real dumb. No, don’t play dumb so you can’t be blamed for something that’s gone wrong. Freedom comes from knowing what you don’t know…and being willing to improve yourself a little each day to be a better you.

I COULDN’T HELP IT

“I couldn’t help it because…!” is an excuse. Life isn’t about right vs. wrong, it’s about producing results that are positive or negative for you and yours. When you know everything, you don’t have to be curious about the unknown, and find novel ways to fix problems.

SICK THINKING

Sick thinking: IF you tell me what I want to hear, I will reward me. IF you agree with me, I will like you. IF I act confident, I will be popular. IF you disagree with me, you should change my mind. IF I play it safe, I won’t get into trouble. IF I don’t have to ask for outside help, I don’t sound ignorant.

FREEDUMB: THE FREEDOM TO FEEL DUMB

The freedom to feel dumb without chastising yourself, or “freedumb” as I’ve humorously nicknamed it, is at the heart of the freedom to learn. The freedom to learn opens up positive possibilities of change. Do you feel free to be in the “learner’s role” in learning to drive your communicator car, or are you “the adult supervisor” who is a know-it-all?

ALWAYS BEING RIGHT IS THE WRONG WAY TO DRIVE ON THE TWO-WAY COMMUNICATOR HIGHWAY…A LITTLE MORE ABOUT DAYTON, OHIO, PSYCHOLOGIST AND AUTHOR DR. DENNIS O’GRADY

Dr. Dennis O’Grady is a professional psychologist and keynote speaker who is a change-me-first advocate. O’Grady contends that doing MORE of what doesn’t work is hard-headed and uneducated. Instead, his advice is to “dream big” about changing what doesn’t make you happy. Your head loses when you bang it against a hard wall, so does his, that’s why Dr. O’Grady wrote “Talk to Me: Communication Moves To Get Along With Anyone.” He had the “freedumb” to inquire why everyone seemed depressed about not being able to get their real message heard. As a doctoral-level psychologist with 30-plus years of experience, O’Grady is beginning to learn a little more about what good communication is all about. Join him. Take up your “communication freedom” to be dumb without feeling shamed-faced about getting a little better at the art of communication every day. Doing more of what doesn’t work–simply doesn’t work any more. Don’t be part of that popular group of people who know-it-all…but don’t know anything at all. Refuse to hold tight unto an anchor while complaining about drowning. Start doing your thinking for a change. Stop allowing others to write their messages in your mind. Become the leader of your own life.

Believe YOU, it’s true!

ABOUT KEYNOTE SPEAKER, BUSINESS CONSULTANT, RELATIONSHIP COACH, SEMINAR LEADER DR. DENNIS O’GRADY

Dr. Dennis O’Grady knows you will love what happens when you use the habits of highly effective communicators to have highly positive and productive relationships. His research has involved the two communicator types that talk to you from four typical places. Know who you’re talking to by type, and with a little practice, you will be talking more effectively to everyone you come into contact with. O’Grady’s book “Talk to Me: Communication Moves To Get Along With Anyone” is available at his Web site and at Amazon. You no longer can afford being a poor communicator!

Why Do You Always Have To Be Right?

Imagine a conversation between a teen and a parent that goes as follows. Teen says: “Why do you always have to be right?” Parent responds: “I don’t always have to be right!” Teen: “Yes, you do…it has to be your way or the highway.” Parent: “No, I don’t…we can agree to disagree and not fight about it.” Teen: “But if I don’t tell you what you want to hear, you get all mad and stop talking to me.” Parent: “Shut up! That’s not true…let’s not talk about this anymore.” Teen: “So I should just shut up, eh?” Parent: “Don’t talk to me in that tone of voice.”

THE COMPASS OF GOOD COMMUNICATION

If you can’t ever be wrong, you can’t ever learn anything new that would prove VERY useful to your troubled relationships. The ability to stand back and self-reflect is a core communication skill, one that serves as a “compass of good communication.” It isn’t about “right vs. wrong,” as many mind-suckers and spirit-warpers would have you believe. It’s about what does and doesn’t work to promote peace and goodwill toward all communicators in the family. Tragically, if you can’t get along with yourself, you will have fights that are always “the fault” of everyone else.

TURN THE TIDE OF YOUR NEXT FIGHT FIASCO

Here are core beliefs that tough-minded I-type communicators use to feel right about being right. I recommend that all E-type communicators adopt these during intense relationship disputes when the heat is turned up and you know your instincts are true as true North.

1. I DON’T HAVE TO KNOW EVERYTHING

2. I’M NOT AFRAID OF CHANGE BECAUSE CHANGE IS MY MIDDLE NAME

3. PEOPLE WHO ALWAYS THINK THEY’RE IN THE RIGHT ARE WRONG

4. YOU CAN’T MAKE ME FEEL BAD UNLESS I THINK ABOUT IT

5. I DON’T HAVE TO BE NERVOUS ABOUT BEING IN THE WRONG

6. I DON’T NEED TO BE FORGIVING

7. I DON’T HAVE TO BE PERFECT

8. WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO GET ALONG WITH EVERYONE?

9. I DON’T HAVE TO BE NICE WHEN I’M SHOVED AROUND

10. I DON’T HAVE TO THINK WHATEVER I’M TOLD TO

Shucks, you don’t have to know everything.

THINK YOUR OWN THOUGHTS FOR A CHANGE TODAY

Here are a few effective ways to think about being “right” or being “wrong”:

  • I don’t have to think what I’m told to
  • I don’t have to be right when it costs me peace in my relationships
  • If you can’t stand back and think about yourself–all you will end up thinking about is yourself
  • The push to be right surely causes most conflicts

Why do you all-ways have to be right? Well, you don’t. You don’t have to have the last word to feel in control. Getting the last laugh isn’t very funny! Do step back, and take a good, long look at yourself. You don’t have to twist yourself into a human pretzel any longer.

PULLING OUT ALL THE EMOTIONAL CARDS: EMPATHIZERS VS. THE INSTIGATORS

Now about your talk type: Empathizer-type communicators (E-types) go along to get along and doubt if they’re in the right. Instigator-type communicators (I-types) don’t go along to get along and rarely doubt if they’re in the wrong. An Achilles Heel of Empathizers is that they feel they must get along with everyone all the time, no matter how unreasonable everyone is being at the time. On the other hand, Instigators may not bend when doing so opens new doors and windows of change.

IF YOU HAVE TO KNOW EVERYTHING, YOU CAN’T LEARN ANYTHING

Check out my reasoning why you have every reason to relax and enjoy not needing to be a “know-it-all” and a “do-it-little”:

  • If you have to know everything, you can’t ever be wrong.
  • If you can’t ever be wrong, you can’t ever learn anything new.
  • If you can’t learn anything new, you can’t change.
  • If you can’t change, you can let go of what isn’t working, and grab hold of what works better.
  • If you can’t solve problems, then your problems keep repeating over and over again while you criticize yourself for not getting past the past.

This logic is killin’ me!

YOU DON’T HAVE TO GET ALONG WITH EVERYONE ALL THE TIME

Being right or wrong isn’t what life is about. Life is about being able to take an honest look at yourself, improve your weaknesses, and hone your strengths as you come on home. DO admit to being wrong…it won’t kill you. In fact, it will show you have faith and confidence in the forces of life that keep us growing and changing in spite of all the odds against us.

ABOUT PROFESSIONAL PSYCHOLOGIST AND SPEAKER DR. DENNIS O’GRADY

Dennis O’Grady is a professional keynote speaker and psychologist and author of three books, the latest which is “Talk to Me: Communication Moves To Get Along With Anyone.” O’Grady believes that if you are an I-type, you can argue until you get your way which will waylay many of your most valuable relationships. In contrast, if you are an E-type, you may be so afraid of conflict that you don’t stick to a good point long enough to get your way. Believe what you want, but communicator differences DO make a whale of a difference in the way you live, learn and love. Do you know your type and what type of talk your type prefers? And why do we fear the unknown so much? Why do we all fear not knowing the answer…of not knowing what next will come to pass…of not knowing what next response will keep us in the seat of control? It’s just a human being thing!

Disturbed By Insecurity?

A number of recent news articles have zeroed in on insecurity among chief executive officers (CEOs), such as one titled, “Could insecurity be the secret to CEO’s success?” This USA Today Money section article by Del Jones ran with the subtitles: “Some execs say paranoia keeps them on their toes” and “Some CEOs say insecurity has made them work hard to prove themselves” (02/01/07 USA Today).

Excuse my cynicism. But does this help you feel better about CEOs who, on average, earn in one day what you earn in an entire year (or several)? Who ought to feel insecure here? Anyway, I think the article unintentionally missed the bus on several key points.

WHAT IS INSECURITY?

I know how insecurity works from the inside-out as a 30-year-plus communications psychologist and innovator of the “Talk to Me” strategic leadership communication and decision-making system. I’m also a CEO and family business coach. Ya’ wanna talk insecurity? Do take a minute with me to define first what insecurity is…a negative thought or feeling? Here you go, all of us who feel disturbed by insecurity.

1. The Werewolf Effect: The eerie feeling that you are being hunted down and chased by an out-of-your-control creature who is breathing down your neck.

2. Hyper-Dog: Always on the run with the big dogs, rushing and flitting from pillar to post to get things done perfectly but feeling like a Chihuahua.

3. Fear of Loss: “There’s never enough of (fill in the blank)” cooperation, time, money, talent, luck, understanding, common sense, good leaders, etc.

4. Shame-Faced: Just never feels comfortable in his or her own skin, or that all will be O.K. if he/she doesn’t huff and puff or blow down someone else’s house of self-esteem.

5. Always Nervous Inside: Smiling on the outside, while crying on the inside like a clown.

6. Only Half-Listens: Has trouble trusting, and listening to or benefiting from, negative feedback.

7. Good Soul: Although pained, perplexed and in agony like the rest of us mortals, is more like a childhood carcass whose guilt-laden past keeps the good soul inside from performing at peak levels.

8. Hoarding Mentality: Is likely to give more importance to things or tasks instead of people, and because of paranoia, will keep critical, problem-solving information to himself/herself.

DRIVING HARD TO ACHIEVE DRIVES US ALL WHERE?

Insecurity, in short, wreaks havoc in our relationships with others and our own relationships with the inner child. It’s characterized by this inside-the-skull self-talk: “I’m not going to survive if I don’t push really hard to prove that I can do it in spite of all obstascles and odds!” Psychologically, good luck to us all who seek to right the wrongs of our collective boyhood or girlhood pasts through driving hard to achieve.

WHO ARE THE INSTIGATOR COMMUNICATOR LEADERS OR I-TYPE TALKERS AMONG US?

For people who are Instigator Communicators, the typical Achilles heel is this personal trait: “Is disturbed by insecurity.” A snapshot of an Instigator Communicator, which according to my Dayton 2005 Leadership Study (p. 132) includes 75% of our leaders today, is as follows:

  • Is disturbed by insecurity
  • Takes pride in pushing hard for own personal needs to be met
  • Has high self-esteem most times, but can feel unlovable
  • Lacks confidence in dealing with emotions and emotional losses
  • Keeps score and likes numbers: “I’m trying to make a point here!”
  • Possesses this self-concept: “No one knows the real me or how I truly feel.”
  • Accepts as truth this concept: “I’m not as good as I look like I am.”
  • Remains calm in a crisis
  • Works hard for company and global objectives
  • Is a big believer in: “There’s a right way and a wrong way to do this!”

The accompanying snapshot of an Empathizer Communicator or E-type is on pages 95-99 of my communication theory book, “Talk to Me: Communication Moves To Get Along With Anyone” (available at www.drogrady.com or at Amazon).

LOOK WHO’S TALKING: SOMETHING NEEDS TO CHANGE

If you don’t know who you’re talking to by type, you are going to miss the boat and have missed and mixed communication, too. As a group, Instigator communicators feel deeply disturbed by emotions due to disturbing conditions in their childhoods. But let’s not romanticize the drive to succeed, first and foremost, the drive is to help heal a world stinging from the abuses of good leaders gone bad due to their intoxication from massive doses of insecurity.

ABOUT DR. DENNIS O’GRADY, PSY.D., LEADERSHIP COMMUNICATION TRAINER, RELATIONSHIP EXPERT AND STRATEGIC DECISION-MAKING CONSULTANT

Are CEOs afraid of their own shadow? Issues that cause worry for our leaders today according to Pricewaterhouse Coopers 10th Annual Global CEO Survey of 1,084 CEOs conducted in 50 countries from Sept. 14 to Dec. 12, 2006 by the PriceWaterhouseCoopers International Survey Unit are over-regulation (73%), availability of key skills (72%), low-cost competition (66%), energy prices (62%), commodity prices (58%), downturn in major economies (57%), energy security (54%), technological disruptions (53%), security of supply chain (52%) and intellectual property rights (49%). Of course, as a relationship enhancement psychologist, I know our I-typers (or Instigators) are worried too about their Empathizer communicator partners who can feel at a loss for words sometimes to quell rising tides of anxiety and deafening insecurity. This is why the wise CEO and company leader hires a personal communications coach to get “outside-of-the-boss-box” constructive feedback, both positive and negative and almost always useful, to quell the fears that make all of us feel as if a giant werewolf is chasing us down in a dark woods of the soul, where we feel defenseless, small and all alone. The solution to unmitigated fear? To turn around and face the childhood beast that is chasing us down, which will lead to even greater and more adept leadership skills when the sands of changing times are shifting underneath our feet in this ever-expanding heart-mind of a world. You can read the full text of Del Jones’ USA Today article at “Could insecurity be the secret to CEOs’ success?” here. In my opinion, I believe that “previously insecure Instigators or I-types who now feel secure in their own skins” not only don’t lose their edge; but make more effective and ethical leaders when the winds of change are strongly blowing. Dr. Dennis O’Grady is the author of “Talk To Me: Communication Moves To Get Along With Anyone” available at www.drogrady.com and at Amazon.