Posts in category: EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION

“What can ordinary people do to communicate better?” is a question I am frequently asked by magazine, radio and newspaper media interviewers. Isn’t that a great question to ask a communications psychologist, professional speaker and business consultant? The answer is pretty simple, but not necessarily easy. Instead of losing your cool again, the “Talk to Me” System works wonders whenever you feel free to study and use it.

WHAT EVERYDAY PEOPLE DO TO CREATE A BETTER COMMUNICATOR ATTITUDE THAT WORKS BETTER FOR THEM

Here are a few key comments from my seminar audience members about finding better routes to travel on the two-way communication highway:

1. I’ll determine which type of communicator my spouse and colleagues are and talk in their own “talk language.”

2. I will change what I do and how I speak depending on whether I’m dealing with an Empathizer-type or an Instigator-type communicator.

3. I won’t try to win at any cost or outstrategize (others), but be more effective at a win-win.

4. Growth comes through adopting the strengths of my opposite communicator type.

5. When I interact, I will respond instead of over-react in a knee-jerk fashion.

6. I will approach each person with an open mind, instead of judging them as “They are O.K. (or not) because they believe as I do (or don’t).”

7. I won’t judge others as annoying when they disagree with me.

8. Look at my children differently when I correct or punish them as they may be a different communicator type.

9. A new way of looking at where a person is coming from in work relationships and business negotiations.

10. Realize that the two types of communication, although very different, can be blended together well to form better (more flexible) forms of communication.

11. Inspiration to challenge my opposite type rather than writing them off as close-minded.

12. And more trust and confidence that opposite communication styles can be bridged with good teaching and skills coaching!

DO YOU WANT TO RIDE OR DRIVE?

Earn your license to drive on the communication highway with the help of positive communicator attitudes that steer you away from platitudes and blame games that steadfastly prohibit change.

SEEK AND YE SHALL FIND BETTER COMMUNICATION ROADS TO TRAVEL

Yes, when you seek better communication ye shall find new answers all around you beckoning to be heard and used. Are you truly a sensitive communicator? Or just over-sensitive to yourself and your ego or hurt feelings when you don’t get your way? Getting along with others means first being a friend to your own communicator nuances, strengths and Achilles Heel. Do you know what I’m talking about? If not, why not?

ARE WE THERE YET?

Why wait until you “get there” to enjoy the ride in your communicator car? Knowing whether you are the driver of an ocean blue Empathizer-type communicator car, or you are the driver of a burnt orange Instigator-type communicator car…takes you from the horse and buggy era to the world of interstate automotive travel fast. Are you ready for a change?

ABOUT COMMUNICATIONS EXPERT AND PROFESSIONAL SPEAKER AND SEMINAR LEADER DR. DENNIS O’GRADY

Go on a trip you won’t soon forget and get your kicks on Route 66, and talk to yourself and others in new ways that work wonders. Experience good results for yourself by using this new interpersonal communication approach found only in “Talk to Me: Communication Moves To Get Along With Anyone.” Don’t wait “until” all your ducks are lined up just right, or you lose out big in an important relationship, before you spend a few minutes taking care of YOU with help of the “Talk to Me” approach to relationship communication. No, this isn’t work…it’s fun, pleasurable and stress reducing. Your positive attitude will be boosted, your mood improve, junk not get ya’ down for long, and a whole bunch of other cool stuff. Dr. Dennis O’Grady is a psychologist licensed to drive on the communication highway, who lives in Dayton, Ohio, USA.

A closed mind is the No. 1 enemy to good talks. It’s characterized by judging another as inferior, not like you, uncooperative, deserving of bad things happening to others. Miscommunication is the refusal to let someone else change your mind when you aren’t driving the right way on the two-way communicator highway.

KEEP AN OPEN MIND AND YOU SHALL FIND?

What are some of the novel ways to keep positive and effective communication turned on during tense times:

1. An open mind…knowing what others truly think and why

2. Appreciating no one can know everything there is to know

3. An optimistic attitude that embraces different ways of getting good results

4. A positive and negative feedback expert who is good at finding strengths

5. A yea-sayer who embraces personal change on a daily basis

6. Uses an “I’m O.K. and You’re O.K.” mindset that doesn’t discount others

7. Owner of an assertive stance that says, “I can change to be a little better every single day!”

8. Communicates sensitive emotions without downing others

9. During tense disagreements, has this attitude: “You don’t have to see things my way to get along with me!”

10. A willingness to learn from any failures to communicate every day

CHANGE HAPPENS TO ME NOW

An open mind is what so many of us lack…so we keep getting the same poor communication results in patterned ways over-and-over-and-over-and-over again, and then wonder why we feel so tired and frustrated.

ABOUT COMMUNICATIONS EXPERT AND PROFESSIONAL SPEAKER AND SEMINAR LEADER DR. DENNIS O’GRADY

Go on a trip you won’t soon forget and get your kicks on Route 66, and talk to yourself and others in new ways that work wonders. Experience good results for yourself by using this new interpersonal communication approach found only in “Talk to Me: Communication Moves To Get Along With Anyone.” Don’t wait “until” all your ducks are lined up just right, or you lose out big in an important relationship, before you spend a few minutes taking care of YOU with help of the “Talk to Me” system to relationship communication. Your positive attitude will be boosted, your mood improve, junk not get ya’ down for long, and a whole bunch of other real cool stuff. Dr. Dennis O’Grady is a psychologist licensed to drive on the communication highway, who lives in Dayton, Ohio, USA.

Why keep flapping your lips and keep doing the same old stuff that doesn’t work? My new interpersonal communication system teaches you new “talk road maps” and “driving tools” to get along better with everyone — at home, at work, at school, in the community. When you understand the two communicator types, and use the four communicator modes, you will embark on a communication trip you won’t soon forget.

WHAT WILL YOU LEARN AT ONE OF MY POSITIVE AND EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION SKILLS SEMINARS?

You will gain insights and answers to these VERY important questions when you use the  TALK2ME communication system:

1. What is your communicator type?

2. What is the nickname of your subtype?

3. What is your personality type?

4. What is the three-letter designation or “shorthand” for your type?

5. How many subtypes are there?

6. Can you name your opposite communicator’s type?

7. What is your communicator type’s favorite talk mode?

8. What makes you change?

9. What makes you fight against changing?

10. How does your opposing communicator type view you?

11. In what ways do you judge or blame your opposite communicator type?

12. In what ways does your opposite communicator type judge and blame you?

13. What causes a “meltdown” for your communicator type?

14. Is your partner the same or opposite type? Are your children? Family members?

15. How can you “adopt” the strengths of your opposing communicator type?

16. Why are “difficult people” almost always your opposite communicator type?

17. How can you talk in the “language style” of both communicator types to get effective results?

18. How can you avoid the “Achilles Heel” of your communicator style?

19. What does your mood (depression, anxiety, anger, guilt) have to do with your type?

20. What discipline works best with kids and teens of either type?

21. What does the “psychology of communication” have to do with the “art of listening?”

22. Do you know how to ask “directive questions” that provide answers you’ve never before heard?

23. What is the difference between your “public communication style” and your “personal communication style?”

INDIVIDUALLY STUDY THE BOOK OR SIGN UP FOR A “TALK TO ME” LIVE SEMINAR OR COMPANY KEYNOTE!

My book and seminar offer rare opportunities to read new “road maps” and use new positive and effective communication “driving tools” to achieve relationship results you’ve only dreamed of. It’s a communication trip you won’t soon forget!

ABOUT AUTHOR AND KEYNOTE SPEAKER DR. DENNIS O’GRADY

As a clinical psychologist and motivational speaker, Dr. Dennis O’Grady often wondered why decent people felt so down, moody, aggravated, impatient, sullen, resentful, at-odds, unable to talk, in-conflict and split apart. The light bulb came on and the answer came through his extensive clinical work as an individual, family and couple psychotherapist. Eureka! Poor communication in our important relationships at home, work and in the community was at the heart of feeling poorly about ourselves. And many “errors” in communication seemed quite innocent and fell into negative talk patterns or ways of driving off the two-way communication highway that ticked everyone off. Who’s to blame…you or your fellow traveler? Well, no one is to blame if the basic driving rules of the talk road have not been taught. You cannot expect anyone to be a good communicator when you haven’t been taught how to communicate well in light traffic much less congested traffic. “Talk to Me” is a way to “connect the dots” of what causes serious accidents every day, and how to safely and sanely steer a positive course around them. As you use the new “Talk to Me” communication system, you will experience for yourself the positive results of making some thrilling new communication moves. As I’ve said before, using “Talk to Me: Communication Moves To Get Along With Anyone” is more fun than fishing in a stocked pond!

All strong people need a helping hand sometimes. Maybe we feel down for the count, dispirited or just plain confused about why people do or don’t do what they say they will or won’t do. You’re not crazy if you want to talk to a professional. In fact, seeking help may be one of the most courageous decisions you ever make on behalf of your own confidence, peace of mind, self-esteem and leadership development. Worse-case scenario: Your well-meaning friends, work associates or teammates might advise you incorrectly because they are “too close” to your situation, and their bias may make things worse.

COMPARING THE COACHING AND COUNSELING WORLDS

As a psychologist, executive coach and relationship communication coach, I’m often asked: “SO Dennis, what’s the difference between executive coaching that my company or I pay for privately…and personal counseling that my insurance company will help pay for publicly? Is it only about money?” Actually, there is a world of difference between the coaching and counseling worlds, although the line is sometimes a bit fuzzy. Here are some helpful differences to be in the know about:

1. Personal counseling helps you find your answers through self-discovery.
Executive coaching respects your opinions but gives you answers to “try on for size” and see how they fit.

2. Personal counseling is almost always done in person.
Executive coaching can be done in person, by phone, over the Internet or by e-mail conferencing.

3. Personal counseling is fairly “non-directive,” where the counselee talks and the counselor patiently listens, coaxes and encourages.
Coaching is VERY active and “directive.” Often the coach is speaking as much or more than the student; homework assignments are required.

4. Counseling is non-judgmental, patient and tolerant of repeated mistakes.
Coaching is results-oriented, caring and carefully expects accountability instead of pat excuses.

5. Insurance companies will partially subsidize or pay for personal and family counseling if a medical diagnosis (e.g., “depression” or “anxiety”) is provided; that diagnosis becomes part of your permanent medical record.
Executive coaching does not involve a medical diagnosis because it focuses instead on wellness; as a result, thus insurance coverage isn’t appropriate and there is no permanent record.

6. Counseling is more supportive of any reluctance to move outside the box or resist change.
Coaching believes that “stretching” beyond your comfort zones leads to positive payoffs and that a firm shove now and then can work miracles.

7. Counseling presumes the client or patient has some pretty deep and intense personal issues that impede success.
Coaching presumes the “student” or “skill learner” is competent, has stable moods and is able and willing to handle change and take suggestions to succeed better.

8. Counseling is open-ended, and agreed-upon meetings depend on progress or the “healing of illness.”
Coaching is time-limited, and skills are sculpted by “focusing on talents and strengths.”

9. Counseling involves fairly deep analysis of personality and family issues to deal with past baggage that is tripping you up today.
Coaching is very “now” or “present-centered” and focuses on “moving forward” and “solving problems” in order to attain better results NOW.

10. Counseling is supervised by your insurance company; if your insurer views the need as worthy of treatment, it can request further information at any time.
Coaching involves only the parties you wish to involve; you alone (and the coach) keep the records of your achievements.

FLEXIBLY COPING WITH CHANGE

Being flexible and coping with change is what it’s all about. Don’t by shy to pay for the skills you will use your entire lifetime. Hiring a specialist to help you better yourself is still one of the best deals going today…whether you, your business or your insurance company help cover the cost. And remember, you may even be able to negotiate the fees during the first meeting if you have a legitimate case!

SELF-IMPROVEMENT OR MEDICAL ILLNESS?

Here’s a short list of some differences between coaching and counseling so you can determine if you want to pay privately or publicly for your communication services:

Coaching vs. Counseling =

Self-Improvement vs. Medical Illness
Learning vs. Healing
Present-Focus vs. Past-Focus
New Communication Patterns vs. Old Family Patterns
Problem-Solving vs. Understanding Problems
Psychological Confrontation vs. Psychological Excuses
We-Centered vs. Me-Centered
Whole Relationships vs. Broken Relationships
Positive Stress vs. Negative Stress
Results-Focused vs. Mood Focused
Doing vs. Talking

THERE’S NO FREE LUNCH

For more than 30 years, I’ve had the privilege to coach people from all walks of life, to provide individual and family counseling and in-depth psychological psychotherapy that sometimes lasts for decades because of the severity of the issues. Each approach has merit, depending on the goals you seek to achieve. One of the reasons counseling is selected is to get a “discount” off the tab. However, as we all know, there is no free lunch and you get what you pay for.

WHO SHOULD YOU CALL?

Interested in either coaching or counseling or intensive psychotherapy? My best suggestion is to INITIALLY go to a meeting with someone you’ve screened (by phone or e-mail/Internet) – someone who specializes in your TYPE of problem to solve…gets GOOD RESULTS with the type of problems you wish to QUICKLY RESOLVE …ENJOYS the work…and who will allow you to pay ONE TIME for an hour meeting to explore the SPECIFIC problem you have. Use that meeting to find out how quickly solutions can be moved into place for you and those you care about.

I know we all want to get a good deal, even if we have to “fudge” a little bit by saying we have a medical illness when in fact we are well. Shoot, I pay thousands of dollars for health insurance for my family, so why shouldn’t I use it? Well, I should use what works…fast. Don’t you agree?

Dennis O’Grady is founder of New Insights Communications and a professional psychologist who understands that the best kind of talking, counseling and therapy is the kind that establishes good communications skills and focuses on change….change for the better, change for the future, change that helps the world go forward instead of spinning and spinning in place.

Dr. Dennis O’Grady provides executive coaching and professional development training in Ohio and surrounding states. Dennis is the author of “Talk to Me: Communication Moves to Get Along with Anyone” which is a leadership training and positive relationship workbook.

One of the best bits of business and leadership advice I’ve ever heard…and have successfully used so often in spite of myself is: “Keep it simple, sweetheart!” It’s easy to remember because of the acronym KISS. But I’d like to ask you to KISS and TELL: (T)alk, E(mpathize), L(isten), L(earn). In short, do YOU have the nerve and guts to ask for positive and negative feedback at work AND hear the truth?

GOT QUESTIONS…GET FEEDBACK?

Do you care enough to get involved with your team to ask three KISS questions? Of course you want honest feedback and to hear the truth, because accurate information solves problems. So ask three team members today:

1. “HEY, HOW’S IT GOIN’?” (Then listen to the under-500 word answer.)

2. “SO, WHAT CAN I DO TO MAKE YOUR DAY GO BETTER?” (And try to do one of the suggestions in a little way.)

3. “HOW CAN I MAKE YOUR LIFE EASIER TODAY?” (And then nod affirmatively as you listen.)

ARE YOUR PEOPLE TOO INTIMIDATED TO TALK OPENLY TO YOU?

Hey, so how’s it been goin’, dear leader? SO…what can I do to make your day go better? How can I make your day easier NOW? Would you be surprised if I surveyed members of YOUR team and found out that they felt too intimidated to talk openly to you? Half of the time that’s exactly what I find out when providing group dynamics feedback during professional leadership and team building consultations. If you ask for honest and blunt feedback on a regular basis, and reward it, THEN the trust factor among team members is bound to be strong instead of splintered.

NERVOUS ABOUT NEGATIVITY:  TALK, EMPATHIZE, LISTEN, LEARN

Are you a negative communicator or are you a positive communicator?  Keep it simple, sweetie (KISS) and do TELL…(T)alk, (E)mpathize, (L)isten, and (L)earn. Don’t permit your people to feel too intimidated to talk openly and honestly with you. Nervous about negativity? Just remind yourself that asking for negative and positive feedback improves your team’s performance significantly!

ABOUT DR. DENNIS O’GRADY

Dr. Dennis O’Grady provides executive coaching and professional training in Dayton, Ohio, and surrounding areas. Dennis is the author of “Talk to Me: Communication Moves to Get Along with Anyone.” In this inspiring new executive coaching and leadership training program, you will learn the crucial differences between Empathizer-type communicators and Instigator-type communicators. Empathizers “freeze up” and are reluctant to give helpful negative feedback while Instigators feel free to “let it rip” and speak their minds. Likewise, an E-type weakness is to put a relationship before the self while an I-type weakness is to put the self before a relationship. Like to find out “What’s Your Communicator Type?” If you believe you are the leader of your own life, one who is a continuously improving “great communicator”…then ask the three questions above to a “quiet but attentive” co-worker or team member today…and listen open-mindedly to the answers.