Posts in category: LEADERSHIP DEVELOPMENT

SUPERSTAR COMMUNICATOR

If you understand your specific communicator type of Empathizer or Instigator communicator, you are already cruising down the two-way communicator highway, admirably avoiding many accidents and misunderstandings that bruise relationships. If you understand the negative perceptions or prejudices about your communicator type and how you are viewed unfavorably by your opposite type when you’re under stress, then you are a Star Communicator. If you use the strengths of both E- and I-type communicators, you are a Superstar Communicator.

YOU CHOOSE THE MOOD OF YOUR TALK

You choose to be positive or negative in your communication mood mode. Positive communicators talk in the language of their fellow talk traveler to hear and understand more deeply and completely, and then act more assertively when problems need to be solved…after the talking is done. Check out what a recent TALK2ME© mood management workshop group ciphered out….

NEGATIVE E-TYPES (-Empathizers)

Are indirect

Tend to be passive aggressive

Are draining

Stew

Hold onto grudges

Too apologetic when not at fault

Shut down talks when stinging from hurt

POSITIVE E-TYPES (+Empathizers)

Are laid back

Demonstrate sincere, non-verbal expressions of hearing you out

Listen completely before acting

Have a good memory of personal events

Come out looking good

Emanate warmth

Are good facilitators

Possess emotional radar

NEGATIVE I-TYPES (-Instigators)

Are self-righteous

Tend to be critical

Judge others

Are confrontational

Are sharp-tongued

Make excuses

Intimidate others

Are selfish

Are closed-minded

Continually stir the pot

POSITIVE I-TYPES (+Instigators)

Are comfortable thinking about meeting their own needs

Demonstrate confidence in their actions

Task oriented

Get the job done

Are self-assured

Don’t hold onto past grudges

Let it go–Be done with it

Don’t allow people to walk all over them

SUPERSTAR STRENGTHS

The vote was clear about the most admired strengths of positive Empathizer and positive Instigator communicators in this class….

MOST VALUABLE EMPATHIZER STRENGTH: LISTEN COMPLETELY BEFORE ACTING

MOST VALUABLE INSTIGATOR STRENGTH: LET IT GO–BE DONE WITH IT

ARE YOU A SUPERSTAR COMMUNICATOR?

You most certainly are…by using the strengths of both communicator worlds. It’s a cinch. First Problem Solving Rule: Listen completely before acting. Second Problem Solving Rule: Let it go–Be done with it.

Don’t know your communicator type? Take a minute to privately determine your type for free here …. http://www.drogrady.com/whats-your-type/

Dr. Dennis O’Grady is the developer of the TALK2ME communication system. Through thirty plus years as a clinical psychologist specializing in relationship communication along with extensive research, Doctor O’Grady identified two different styles of communicators–Empathizers and Instigators. He discovered that each communicator style has its own unique set of traits and viewpoints and created a teaching tool to provide the map for the two communicators styles to work and live together in understanding and harmony.

EXCELLENT COMMUNICATION PRACTICES

Creating the right climate control in your communicator car is crucial to getting high grades in good communication on leadership (or family) surveys. Why learn what makes your Empathizer or Instigator communicator car hum along the road less traveled?

TOP PICKS FOR COMMUNICATION PROWRESS

One TALK2ME© training group brainstormed these answers to, “What practices give you the biggest bang for your communication buck?”

1)   Lead by Example – You can’t expect communication if you don’t give it.

2)   Honesty – Dishonesty can come back to bite you.

3)    Active Listening with Follow-Up – Immediate solutions or develop a game plan.

4)    Open Door – Encourage team members to meet with you, don’t just go through the motions.

5)     Be Accessible – No Barriers – Nurture one-on-one communication.

6)     Restate the Question – Clarify the question before you answer it.

TO SUM IT UP

Lead by Example: The late, great UCLA Coach John Wooden put it like this:

No written word

No spoken plea

Can teach our youth

What they should be

Nor all the books

On all the shelves…

It’s what the teachers

Are themselves

TALK2ME: Dr. Dennis O’Grady is a Dayton communications coach, couples counselor, and corporate trainer. He can be reached at 937-428-0724.

DO YOU HAVE YOUR DOCTORATE OF COMMUNICATIONS DEGREE?

What’s up, Doc? Have you earned your Doctorate of Communications degree? If not, the following might just be an exam question: In your opinion, what single characteristic makes for excellent and effective leadership communication? Now, think a minute–and your answer would be …? Would you choose what kind of mood a leader parlays every day?

A+ COMMUNICATION…CORE LEADERSHIP COMPETENCIES

Let’s get personal: What makes you feel valued and valuable as a follower? Are you walking the talk? From real life Talk2Me© workshops, here are insights of people in the field….

1. COMFORT LEVEL. You are comfortable communicating with the leader about anything at any time. There is no fear of the leader or fear of tackling tough talks or change transitions. Do you feel a secure connection to your leader? Do you find it easy to connect with team members as a leader?

2. THOUGHTS HEARD. You feel valued. Your thoughts are heard and your opinions are regularly sought out by the leader. There isn’t resentment, because creative thoughts aren’t interrupted in mid-sentence. Do you feel trust towards your leader? Are you trusted as a leader?

3. COMMUNICATION AVAILABILITY. Even when busy, your leader is open to listening – neither impatience nor irritation are shown. Do you feel your leader is approachable and listens well? Are you approachable as a leader and as an engaged listener?

4. CONSISTENT AND CLEAR. Your leader provides consistent and clear directions about job goals and the company mission. There is no fear of delivering quality feedback. Do you feel your leader is being consistent and clear? Are you consistent and clear as a leader?

5. NOT MOODY. Your leader provides a safe and reliable emotional atmosphere by showing a positive attitude most times. There is no fear of being dumped on or fear of retaliation. Do you feel your leader drives in a good mood most days? Do you choose to be in a good mood most days as a leader?

JUST ASK ANYONE….

Ask anyone to give you feedback about how you come across as a leader. Ask your co-workers or boss, supervisor or supervisee, your kids or life partner….

“Do you feel comfortable talking to me? Do you feel valued and feel that your thoughts and opinions are heard and appreciated?

Although Empathizer leaders and Instigator leaders lead from different strength sets, each type must adopt these core leadership competencies and improve upon them a little bit every day to drive into a future of success.

Dr. Dennis O’Grady is a Dayton psychologist, marriage counselor, family business communications consultant and Mood Management workshop leader. Dr. O’Grady can be reached at 937-428-0724.

THE SOUP RECIPE FOR A WINNING TEAM

Even if you’re not a sports junkie, you can still relate to the winning ways of the 2010 Cincinnati Reds. What “mood mix” excels to create the miracle called the Soup of Success? To find out, as a psychologist, I put my head together with a winning Coach, to identify the key ingredients the Cincinnati Reds use to cook up success.

THE SOUP OF SUCCESS INGREDIENTS

Without this combination of ingredients, the soup of success would likely turn into a toxic soup of money-ego-driven chunks of fresh meat, boiling in some sort of septic dish or bowl…

1. THE SUPERSTAR. There is always the main ingredient of a superstar who can take the heat in the kitchen. So, at least one five-star player is always all in on the winning team. That starring player can be a serious geek, like the Reds’ Joey Votto, who is admired by nearly everyone. Although there’s no “I” in “TEAM,” winners do put the “I” in “WIN.” The Reds show a winning recipe for the soup of success.

2.  THE TEAM TAPS INTO THE MOOD MOJO. Team players aren’t jealous of the superstar, but instead they seek advice as they watch the master closely and attempt to mimic the magic of the mood mojo moment. Should you take that, “We’re all in here to win, no matter what our role is…” out of the soup mix, every good soup would turn from a delectable blend of tastes into a bland chemical mess. The Reds have their mood mojo working.

3. THERE ARE VETERANS IN THE CLUBHOUSE. The Reds have rightly brought into the kitchen highly successful veteran individuals (Scott Rolen, Orlando Cabera to name two), who want their good habits to rub off on the other, younger players. Powerful message: It’s more about enjoying the journey than piling up more money. Still love the soup, but love even more the successful team who runs the restaurant like the pros they are. The Reds attitude: “Let’s enjoy this as we go, to give more power to the bat. It’s pretty simple, really.”

4. EVERYONE’S ALL IN. Coach Wooden, of UCLA basketball fame, said, “You must have all your people who are EAGER, accept their roles as equally important team members.” Did you get that – not only ready and willing, but eager…! If you only have one foot in the kitchen so you can escape at any time, then you are really not all in at all. People who aren’t all in, find it so easy to bail when there’s a tough loss, or when someone says something bad about the group or the recipe. The Reds are all in to win.

5. GOOD SUPPORT CAST. Support people of all stripes are critical to the team’s winning recipe. These people may have nothing to do with the actual “front store” game, but they are the “back of the room” unsung heroes who make it possible for the stars to effortlessly shine. Customer-centered support staff, clerical and administrative people, are eager to excel and contribute the spices to the recipe for success, while stirring the pot so the soup won’t scorch. The Reds’ support cast gives the gift of making everyone look good.

6.  MENTOR GUIDANCE. A good team always reveres mentor guidance, a necessary ingredient in the soup. In the midst of chaos, mind over emotion mentors stick to the basic recipe for success. They aren’t set adrift in a storm of bad moods, and they keep everyone calm when fears drown out common sense. Mentors (trainers, consultants) are eager to share what they’ve learned over their career in a specialized area. Reds’ mentors re-energize spirits that are sagging.

7. COACH MUST LIKE ME. Team players thrive with this coach (or boss) message: “As a player, I care about you. I care about how you’re doing. I’m not going to let you down or let your flounder here. I’m ALL IN. You are not a cog in a machine. You are an irreplaceable ingredient in our success. I will never throw you under the bus. The Reds’ Chef has an “aura of believability,” always coming up with a way to amend the almost perfect recipe with a bit more of this or a tad less of that.

Bad food or bad soup tastes like it has an overwhelming amount of one thing or another or is absolutely lacking in something else, instead of having a good balance. The Chef knows that a balanced recipe, especially with extra mood mojo, is best.

Players see that the Chef knows how to make a great pot of soup.

Are you cooking up the soup of a winning team in your business like the Reds have done? Chances are, you’re not, because there are so few winning teams around. The winning teams have all the right ingredients assembled and in place…and so can you!

Dr. Dennis O’Grady, Dayton clinical psychologist, might not claim to be a sports nut but he is a “Mood Management” expert with “million dollar” communication tools every successful team can use. You can access his training works at www.drogrady.com.

How do you successfully work through a problem issue as a team or family? It isn’t an easy task, to be sure. For example, how are you able to reliably determine what solution will or won’t work in real life? Pet opinions aren’t necessarily a collection of facts, facts that are the keys to solving problems.

SEER LEADERS

SEERS are Empathizer leaders in the TALK2ME© system who “see” invaluable solutions as easily as “seeing” the nose on your face.

For example, SEERS don’t come to a conclusion and then build a case to support their pet project. SEERS seethe when common sense isn’t used to create change. Care to know if your “solution opinion” will fly in the real world? Ask a SEER who has uncommon, common sense.

DO YOU BROWBEAT PEOPLE TO DEMOLISH THEIR POSITIONS?

Do you “SEE” the solution(s) to a problem, or are you awash in opinionated opinions? An opinion is based on your understanding of the information you have at hand. SEERS easily distinguish strong opinions from straight facts….

1.  CAN’T YOU SEE THE INCONSISTENCY HERE? SEERS are easily able to point out the inconsistency in something. It stands out like a sore thumb.

2. DON’T YOU SEE THE ISSUE? SEERS’ minds flash on illuminating solutions to problem issues.

3. DO YOU SEE THIS SIDE OF IT? SEERS can visualize the partial view and the whole view while envisioning that special part which is the missing piece to the jigsaw puzzle.

4. WHAT’S THE LOGIC HERE? SEERS connect the dots to find out if what’s being proposed is too complicated to work in real life.

5. ARE YOU SAYING WHAT YOU MEAN, AND MEANING WHAT YOU SAY, WITHOUT BEING MEAN? SEERS take emotional words at face value, so they aren’t fooled by fear-driven untruths spoken by brutes.

6. DIDN’T ANYBODY SEE THIS COMING DOWN THE PIKE? SEERS aren’t caught up in a swirling inner world and are thus able to “see” what’s coming down the road right before their very eyes.

7. ISN’T THE SOLUTION AS OBVIOUS AS THE NOSE ON YOUR FACE? SEERS have very long noses and “get” that if your group won’t look into a factual mirror with the purpose of finding the truth, you won’t…even if it’s as plain as the nose on your face.

Instigator leaders have strong opinions and are able to make those opinions acceptable to others and then enacted upon to complete the task.

DOES THIS MAKE SENSE?

Here’s your test to tell if you’re a SEER. Analyze this message: “All dogs must be kept on a leash in the park.” SEER quip: “That’s going to be a pretty damned crowded park.” Get it? “All dogs in the world must report to the park.” Funny. SEERS would prefer: “To protect other people in the park, while dogs are in the park with their owners, they must be kept on a leash.” SEERS see what is not obvious to the rest of us.

Another SEER told his mom: “Mom, you are a crustacean.” “Son, why do you say that?” “Because you’re acting awfully crabby with me!” Makes you think….

OPINION OR OPINIONATED?

Who’s right and who’s wrong? The better debater can rule the roost. Yet, an opinion is “the view somebody takes about a certain issue, especially when it is based solely on personal judgment.” Plus, an “opinionated” person is always ready to express opinions and, tending to hold to them stubbornly, unreasonably dismisses other people’s views.” Opinions aren’t necessarily facts, even when spoken by an expert authority.

If something doesn’t make sense to you, seek the counsel of a SEER, who understands that common sense involving facts solves problems, but that process isn’t commonly exercised in the home space or workplace.

Clinical psychologist Dr. Dennis O’Grady provides corporate communication training and marriage counseling seminars. Call (937) 428-0724.