Posts in category: MANAGE MOOD

MOM’S and/or DAD’S SUNDAY MOODS

Do women have more bad moods than men do? Depends on who you talk to. In the TALK2ME© world of Empathizer vs. Instigator communicator planets, moods aren’t a female-male thing, or a dad-mom thing, or a parent-teen thing, or a doctor-nurse thing, but a human condition. A cosmic joke told by a higher power, perhaps?

What are mood indicators? Wouldn’t it be helpful if there were a color code bar on the shoulder – red for mad, blue for the blues, purple for peaceful – so you could read the mood of another without using words? That’s how the Talk2Me© system can help you serenely drive around congested traffic patterns on the communication highway.

GATHERING BAD MOODS AROUND YOU?

Well, here are real life clues from family members that your mood, whether you’re a dad or a mom, is being spread around like a poison infesting clear communication waters…

·            Not very communicative/talkative

·            Talk is more like a quiz than a conversation

·            Never sure what will set off anger

·            Inappropriate degree/amount of anger; i.e. furious over something minor

·            Misdirection of anger; i.e. handles major things, then blows up at little things

·            Saying something is never enough

·            Having mood meltdowns and making others take a guilt trip

·            Personally experience feelings, or feel “energy field vibrations,” that repel like an electric fence

Do you treat others at work to the best or worst of your mood? When you come home, do you drag a bad mood with you?

ONLY ONE RIGHT WAY — MY WAY

In my research, Empathizers were shown to more likely take on the bad moods of others, while Instigators are more likely to incite or spread a bad mood around to others. Either way, your mood is your business to profit by. Bad moods are spread due to close-minded mind trips such as “It’s my way or the highway” or “You must think, feel, do, and say as I do or there will be there will be way too much to pay….”

Dennis O’Grady is a Dayton psychologist, family therapist and couple counselor. New Insights Communication: (937) 428-0724.

MOOD AS AN ATTITUDE OF SUCCESS

Mood is a potent brew of immense emotions mixed with intense attitudes that help or hinder motivation. What mood as an attitude of success is at the core of your organizational mind, driving customer service in the heart of your people and team spirit?

MOOD MANAGEMENT

You weren’t born in a bad mood. You don’t have to stay in a bad mood. A health-focused “It’s not Me, It’s Them!” Mood Management class divined these ultimate “core values of success”…

• FLEXIBILITY
• ACTION
• OPTIMISM
• A SENSE OF INNER-CALM

You can set the “mood tone” and the “mood tempo” of your team at work. Believe it.

ATTITUDES OF A SUCCESSFUL MOOD

Here are positive attitudes the Mood Management class decided create a positive mood, which inspires positive results for everyone with whom you come into contact….

• Altruistic
• Dare to Care
• Doer
• Golden Rule Follower
• Change-Expert
• Get ‘Er Done
• Love People
• Take on Challenges
• Appreciate Variety
• Emotions Appropriately Expressed
• Passionate about Fixing Wounds
• Love Customers
• Pass on Empowerment Attitudes
• Be a Fast-Paced Junkie
• Increase Your Skills in Little Ways Every Day
• Excel: BE Excel(lent)
• Supportive
• Speak Language of Opposite Communicator Type
• Change-Minded
• Positivity
• Not Dwelling on What You Cannot Change
• Excel: BE Excel(lent)
• Hopeful

MOOD TOOLS2USE

Our leaders use Mood Tools throughout their day. Excelling Leaders who boost (not bust) moods at work – AND who pass along a positive attitude – describe the mood tools they display in the workplace….

• ASSUME RESPONSIBILITY
• BE PASSIONATE…ENTHUSIASTIC…EXPRESSIVE
• GO WITH THE FLOW
• CALMING…DON’T GET TOO WOUND UP
• PERSEVERING…FORGE THROUGH OBSTACLES
• HAPPY…ALWAYS LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE
• BE FLEXIBLE & ADAPTABLE
• SUNNY: UPBEAT & POSITIVE
• CALM…LAID BACK
• EVER-CHANGING EXPECTATIONS DON’T STRESS YOU OUT
• FLOWING: ROLL WITH IT
• FABULOUS:  But, YOU DON’T HAVE TO FEEL GOOD ALL THE TIME
• INTENSE: GET ‘ER DONE SPIRIT
• PROBLEM SOLVING EMOTIONS-MINDED
• DEPENDABLE IN SPEECH: WALK THE TALK

IT’S NOT ME, IT’S THEM vs. IT’S NOT THEM, IT’S ME

Personal growth comes from taking responsibility for your moods, attitudes, and actions. Managing your own life’s mood is the best use of your energy. For example, want a job with our health team? Then, as a new hire you need to exhibit a “good mood” of being flexible (not rigid), action focused (not passive), optimistic (not pessimistic), and have a sense of inner-calm (not a drama tornado). Can you keep your cool during raging mood storms? I know you can, through steady practice.

PUTTING YOURSELF IN A HOPEFUL MOOD

Can you choose your mood? (More than you think you can.) In what mood do you strive to put yourself to start your day? (You greet the day glad to have another chance to love and learn and excel.) Your mood infuses YOU and OTHERS with hopefulness or helplessness.

Dennis O’Grady is a Mood Coach and couple counseling psychologist who resides in Dayton, Ohio. New Insights Communication: (937) 428-0724.

Lord, Forgive Me When I Whine!

When you awake in the morning, does your mind travel down “I Don’t Have… Avenue” or “I Have Gratitude Road?” Focusing on what you don’t have depresses your mood and motivation. Focusing genuinely on what you do have ignites a positive mood, which inspires you to live your own life and calls forth opportunities.

CHOOSE YOUR MOOD?

Who’s in charge of your mood, them or you? Which way today will you choose to allow your Mood Winds to blow?

Here’s a mood-changing poem from A Better Way to Live, by Og Madino, which has the power to change your mood from misery and blame to happiness and acclaim.

Today, upon a bus, I saw a lovely girl with golden hair, I envied her…she seemed so gay…and wished I were as fair. When suddenly she rose to leave, I saw her hobble down the aisle; She had one leg and wore a crutch; But as she passed…a smile! Oh, God forgive me when I whine, I have two legs. The world is mine!

I stopped to buy some candy. The lad who sold it had such charm. I talked with him He seemed so glad. If I were late ‘twould do no harm. And as I left he said to me, “I thank you. You have been so kind. It’s nice to talk with folks like you. You see,” he said, “I’m blind.” Oh, God, forgive me when I whine, I have two eyes. The world is mine.

Later, while walking down the street, I saw a child with eyes of blue. He stood and watched the others play. He did not know what to do. I stopped a moment, then I said, “Why don’t you join the others, dear?” He looked ahead without a word, and then I knew he could not hear. Oh, God forgive me when I whine. I have two ears. The world is mine.

With feet to take me where I’d go, with eyes to see the sunset’s glow, With ears to hear what I would know…Oh, God forgive me when I whine. I’m blessed indeed. The world is mine.

Author Unknown

DRIVING DOWN GRATITUDE ROAD

Are you torturing or guilting yourself today because you’re not taking charge of changing your mood? Do you make your bad moods worse by driving your blue Empathizer car or burnt orange Instigator car down “I Don’t Have…Avenue?” thereby kicking yourself when you’re down?

ABOUT “IT’S NOT ME, IT’S THEM…” MOOD MANAGEMENT PROGRAM LEADER

As developer of the TALK2ME© Communication System, Dr. O’Grady has an in-depth understanding of the complexities of communication of mood and a proven system to unravel the mystery. He is Past President of the Dayton Psychological Association, and founder of New Insights Communication. You can reach Dr. Dennis O’Grady directly at (937) 428-0724.

BENEFITS OF A GOOD MOOD

Do you worry about everything? Is your inner talk negative? Do you get mad at those closest to you for seemingly no reason? Can’t communicate positively? Do you need tools to boost your mood?

What are the benefits of carrying a good mood to motivate and infuse yourself with the courage to change today?

HOW DOES A POSITIVE MOOD AFFECT YOUR LIFE?

Pleasures abound for you and the company you keep when you simultaneously work on a good mood and a good attitude…

•   Profits go up

•   Bridges of trust and respect are built and reinforced

•   Communication enables dreams to take flight

•   Morale takes a boost and teamwork soars

•   Your company winds up leading the pack

•   Attitudes create positive action in spite of fear of the unknown

•   Enthusiasm is found in common tasks

•   Professional image is polished with the gold of good deeds done

•   Others’ moods are lifted in optimistic confidence

•   Safety is secured

•   Productivity peaks

•   Customer satisfaction scores rate you as an “A” player

•   Reputation is appreciated

•   Personal values are solid and can’t be bought out for a quick fix

•   Decision-making is seamless

•   You are driving under the influence of a positive attitude

•   You are “On your toes,” and “Your game is right on”

•   Relationships deepen

•   All team members focus like a hawk on the target goal

•   Quality is priceless

•   Opportunity seeks you out

•   Others are connected heart-mind to your mission

GOT MOOD TALK TOOLS?

Too moody too much of the time? Can’t communicate the way you’d like? Then it’s time to drive down new mood avenues using the TALK2ME© system.

ABOUT TALK2ME

Another book on communication styles is “Talk to Me” by Dr. Dennis O’Grady, a communications psychologist in Dayton, Ohio. He takes the approach that communication styles basically fall into two camps:

1. Instigators (people who think communication is primarily about solving problems and making decisions, making your point of view clear, being decisive and not dwelling on anything…and then moving on), and

2. Empathizers (people who think communication is good for exploring and expressing feelings, understanding everyone’s point of view, connecting, clearing the air…and THEN deciding the best course).

Men and women fall equally into both groups. His theory is that the best communication — at work, at church, in communities, in relationships, with children – occurs when Empathizers understand how Instigators’ communication styles work/manifest themselves, and when Instigators understand how Empathizers’ communication styles play out and manifest themselves.

The book has self-tests and examples of how to learn both communicator styles….

Sue MacDonald
Zakta.com | http://www.zakta.com
The Personal/Social Search Engine
smacdonald@zaktallc.com
Cincinnati, OH 45224
+1-513-324-6277

MANAGING EMOTION

Why blow up and pile on when an action indicates loss of self-control? Do you fall into the equation of bad mood = bad actions = bad relationships? You bet. We all do. Spare the rod and spoil the child? No. Think about it – can you teach kids not to hit somebody by hitting them? Better alternative: It’s just a matter of managing emotions better, as this father did in the case example below.

WHAT TEES YOU OFF?

A 10-year-old Empathizer son asked to ride with his dad on the lawnmower. The Instigator dad who demands respect said, “No,” because there was homework to do. The son threw a fit and was put into his room for timeout by his mom. The son was so upset he twisted and broke his eyeglasses in half and threw them out of his room as he was spewing and crying.

How would you respond? Would you react and go off on a tirade? That depends, I suspect, on whether or not you are managing your emotions sensibly.

THE CALMING TECHNIQUE

What would an Instigator dad, consciously using Empathizer strengths, do? How do you avoid having an anger outburst that’s going to be perceived as bullying?

Use The Calming Technique. Say to yourself: “Listen. Just drop it. Drop that angry response that’s just dying to come spewing forth from my guts. How do I find the soft spot? I’m going to let this go internally. I’m going to let the anger go. I’m going to set aside my frustration, right here, right now. Getting mad and yelling won’t help anything. He has enough trouble as it is. He’s got to work through it. His mom is already talking with him. I need to let it be. She won’t appreciate my stepping into a discipline process that she has already initiated.

Focus On What Results You Will Get. Say to yourself: “What result can I expect? A calmer mind and a calmer outward appearance and demeanor would be most evident. A calmer presence will let those around you appreciate your attitude and self-control. Far less relationship escalation or drama will be appreciated by everyone involved. Mom said, “Thank you for letting me handle the situation and for backing me up. I’m glad you didn’t blow up and cause another problem.”

RECOGNIZE THE FEELING OF REJECTION

It’s personal when you feel slighted or disrespected by someone with whom you have a personal connection or tie. You feel similarly when someone you care about is slighted. How to slow down the steps in an anger outburst…

• Catch the feeling of rejection (inappropriate behavior that somebody’s done something wrong and needs to be punished) before it takes over
• Let go of, “How could you have done that or said that?” as resentments arise
• Catch the feeling of retribution or payback before it engulfs you
• Consciously set aside your rights to retribution
• Make the conscious choice to move into the Empathizer role
• Accept that there doesn’t need to be retribution or a lesson learned

After all, what lesson can be learned from paybacks and retribution? That adults can act crazy…or that adults can’t or won’t control their anger outbursts…and they blame others for their moods. What outcome do you desire? That together we find a way to get through tough situations and become stronger and more connected as a result of those tough situations?

MANAGE YOUR MOOD BETTER?

Dr. Dennis O’Grady, Dayton clinical psychologist,  shares how to improve your mood and relationships, using unbeatable TALK2ME tools.