Posts in category: NEGATALKERS

How do negative people drain the life energy right out of you while you watch stunned and dumb? Using our communicator car metaphor, how do these ME-first pessimists who are ME(an) “energy vampires” siphon the gasoline right out of your blue Empathizer or burnt orange Instigator car, and how do they do it right under your nose? And why do you let them put you so low on fuel that you lose enthusiasm for your life goals? It’s almost like highway robbery when the slippery talks and slick tricks of an “I feel so bad about it!” pessimistic negatalker keep you coming back for more.

THE PROBLEM WITH OPTIMISM

You can either choose to be an optimist, a pessimist or a realist. Val is a realist-optimist reader who posed this challenging question:

I agree wholeheartedly with your statements about negative people being control freaks, and effective communicators being peace freaks. One thing I wish you would touch on is how negative people are attracted to very optimistic, independent and positive people. They seem to be genuinely interested in your state of being, then they slowly drain the life out of you due to THEIR lack of ambition. Before you know it, you have allowed them to rob you of most of your life and livelihood. And you become like them, negative and cynical; they eventually make you feel like them! Yes, this is speaking from experience as an optimist who’s been robbed!

Pessimists are like blood suckers who connect to your tender psychic skin. “Opposites do seem to attract, although they don’t always last.” That’s why you’ll find the communication types of Empathizers and Instigators coupled up for better and worse.

EMPATHIZER LEADER COMMUNICATORS AND THE PSYCHOLOGICAL DYNAMICS OF DEADBEATS

I assume that Val, by the nature of her question, is an Empathizer (E-type) communicator who breathes life into the deadbeats of her life. Here’s why and how the bright light of E-types can be dimmed by pessimistically perverse negative people.

1. I don’t want to hurt you by what I say or feel. E-types keep many of their best opinions quiet, out of fear of hurting a negative person’s self-image, as if that’s even possible.

2. I can’t help but try to fix it. E-types who try to help others often won’t try to help themselves, feel drained and lame and at-fault vs. at-choice.

3. I feel obligated, like I owe them. E-types fail to see that negative people take pride in selling snow to an Eskimo, and use a “victim storyline” about being unfairly treated by life due to no fault of their own.

4. I always make it into my problem. E-types take on others’ problems, as they simultaneously strip off the right to have a happy life.

5. I wish I would have spoken up. E-types are famous for saying, “I play the garbage in my brain over and over again why I didn’t speak up and say my piece!”

6. I dislike unnecessary conflict and confrontation. E-types fear conflict and hate unfair fights so much they steer clear of speaking up when their “right” opinion might get some flak or be taken “wrong.”

7. I try to talk but it’s just no use. About horses and parades: You can only clean up one side of the communicator street, YOUR side. Your talk partner must independently clean up his or her side without your help after the parade passes by.

8. I do most of the giving. E-types do more than their 50% of giving, and because they aren’t scorekeepers by nature, they get taken advantage of by the takers who confuse taking with winning.

9. I don’t want to come across as mean or selfish. E-types carry the guilt luggage of others and fear this implied threat of relationship abandonment: “You’re not doing enough for me, or trying hard enough to get along, which is hurting me and making me unhappy. You’ve got to try harder at this or we can’t be together.”

10. I lost the enjoyment of being who I am. E-types are prone to having their psychic bodies snatched, and put extra energy into others’ enjoyment while slighting their own pleasures.

NEGATALKERS: WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO NEGATIVE?

E-types believe that the spoken word of man is gospel, and should be taken seriously, which is REALLY funny, honey. That’s how negative people can steal your energy, too, when the rubber of “negatalker” words doesn’t meet the road of positive actions.

WHO OWNS THE TITLE OF YOUR COMMUNICATOR CAR BABY?

Principally, negative people get you sensitive types to do more of the work for them than they are willing to do for themselves. It’s a simply devastating illusional fact of life. Eventually, the pattern comes to light that the negative person makes a big mess for all you SO-o nice people to clean up. If you keep cleaning up a mess that isn’t your responsibility, then the negative person messes things up to dictate that others clean up after them.

DO YOU FEEL TURNED AROUND OR TETHERED AND TIRED OR TRAPPED AND TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF?

You are not bound or tethered by a ball and chain. You do not permit an energy thief to stick a siphon in your communicator car or a straw in your skull. You are supposed to be liked and approved of…you shouldn’t have to work so hard at that. If you are working harder to make someone happy than they are trying to make you happy…close your gas cap and drive off down the road of positive and effective communication destinations.

ABOUT TOW TRUCK DRIVER AND LICENSED LEADERSHIP COMMUNICATION AND STRATEGIC DECISION-MAKING EXPERT AND CORPORATE TRAINER DR. DENNIS O’GRADY, PSY.D.

Dr. Dennis O’Grady provides management communication training to companies, and is a communications psychologist from Dayton, Ohio, USA. He knows that E-typers are too good for their own good, and don’t ever live up to their own expectations, always trying harder and harder to please until they bleed. Empathizers also lose their bearings when criticized by others, and can take turns on the two-way communicator highway they shouldn’t go on if they’re shouted down. For example, if an annoying negative person is in the passenger side of the seat, an E-typer runs out of gas and ends up needing to call for a tow truck. The “Talk to Me” communication system will HELP you to get you on the road again, and keep you on track to get your happy back. It also teaches you how to fill your gas tank before you feel like you’ve failed at everything except being a failure. Last but not least: E-types lose their sense of direction, or where they should be headed, when strong or loud criticisms are directed at them or guilt bombs dropped on them from on high.

ANNOYING PEOPLE

Recently, Good Housekeeping writer Denise Foley interviewed me about how to talk back to annoying people in assertive ways. The tricky part: Talking back to an annoying person can cause conflict and can engender hard, stuffed-in feelings that result in cutting off the relationship. “I don’t have to take it, I want to give it back!” as a way of venting doesn’t work either. Getting the last laugh isn’t very funny, although that’s what all hurting people would like to do.

I’D LIKE TO GIVE HIM OR HER A PIECE OF MY MIND

Ah, how we all fantasize aggressively about “If I could have just given them a good piece of my mind, why I’d…!” Well, when your mind is fixated on fixing an annoying person, you’re draining your OWN energy? Trying harder to change someone than he or she is willing to change him- or herself, is akin to running over a bed of nails in your communicator car. As you tire loses air, your life energy goes out of you and your mood and dreams for peace of mind flatten like, well, flat tires.

WOMEN ANNOYING WOMEN

These examples are experienced by women talking to other women in “I win when you lose!” competitive ways. The O’Grady Change Maxims which follow are what I use as a psychologist to kindly remind myself to be response-able instead of over-reactive.

1. THE ONE-UPPER. If you got a $5,000 raise, she got a $10,000 raise. Her theme song is “Everything you can do, I can do better.”

Go Talk To Yourself: Trying to get even or be one-up, puts you behind.

2. THE BUBBLE-BURSTER. She’s always pointing out problems with any plan: “Really, you want to visit Paris? Do you have enough vacation days? How are you going to afford that?”

Go Talk To Yourself: No one can drive you up a wall without your consent.

3. THE SHRINK. You’ve barely met the woman and she’s already giving you personal advice based on what she learned in Psych 101 ten years ago.

Go Talk To Yourself: Psychocritiquing is practicing psychology without a license.

4. THE KNOW-IT-ALL. Whatever you say, she’ll correct you six times before you’re through, even on topics you know about and she doesn’t.

Go Talk To Yourself: A know-it-all knows next to little or nothing. I’m a know-it-little to keep open the lines of communication.

5. THE SNOB. With her, it’s a tone thing. For example, your rich friend says, “How nice you got such a deal at Costco. Personally, I can’t take the crowds, but that’s just me.”

Go Talk To Yourself: Anyone who hands you a manure sandwich and tells you it’s bologna, that person is full of baloney.

6. THE EEYORE. She’s always under a dark cloud and unless you steer clear, her rain will soak you, too. Negative attention is what she lives for.

Go Talk To Yourself: I don’t have to dance to the tune of anyone’s victim fiddle.

TALK GAMES ARE ANNOYING AND MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE A GOAT ON A ROPE

You can keep your cool when the heat is on. Actually, what an annoying person thinks of you and your life choices are none of your business. A jerk just wants to jerk you around, sap your energy and make you frown. Basically, a jerk is into controlling your mind and emotions by handing you what they are too afraid to look at. My Change Maxims are pithy reminders that your energy is in your control, some of the time, like right now.

THE INNER JERK: KEEPING YOUR COOL WHEN THE HEAT IS ON

Who are you allowing to practice psychology on your mind without a license? Once I’m upset, I try to take a step back, and talk to myself in caring ways that give me some breathing room from my bad habit of “knee-jerk, me-jerk” reacting. Why feel furious and hurt over and over again? Why let yourself be led around like a goat on a rope by jerks? People talk like jerks. The “Inner Jerk” is a shame-and-blame twisted twit who breaks off good communication before it has a chance to get rolling. So get a good laugh or chuckle as you loosen the noose around your neck by poor communicators.

READ ALL ABOUT PROFESSIONAL KEYNOTE SPEAKER AND RELATIONSHIP COUNSELOR DR. DENNIS O’GRADY

Dr. Dennis O’Grady is the father of three daughters, husband and communications psychologist who is licensed to practice psychology AND licensed to drive on the two-way communicator highway. If you would like driving instructions on how to keep your mood up around annoying and difficult people who want to feed off your energy like a vampire bat…then read “Talk to Me: Communication Moves To Get Along With Anyone.” Who annoys Dr. O’Grady the most of all people alive on the planet? Why Dennis annoys himself most of all, of course, and sometimes allows you to.

A bad boss creates very negative outcomes in the world in which he or she lives and works. In my powerful new communication system, 75% of leaders are Instigator-type communicators, or I-types. A good leader is a good communicator who improves steadily and readily every day. Although only 16% of bosses are “bad drivers” on the “two-way communication highway”…a bad boss can wear you down and make you frown and sow dissension and fraction in the team car and drive away your best people.

BAD BOSS, BAD BOSS, WHAT YA’ GOIN’ TO DO?

How to know when a beast of a boss stresses you, besets your self-esteem and wears you down until the light of your soul is dimmed:

1. Boyish or girlish charm. The bad boss can grin from ear-to-ear, and appear sort of funny and non-threatening at first.

2. Speaks strongly. The bad boss sounds super-confident and all-knowing, including the bad things that will befall you if you don’t go along with the program and toe the party line.

3. Loved or hated. The bad boss causes frictions and fractions that divide fellow workers who either extremely love and worship…or hate and revile the bad boss.

4. Takes credit where credit isn’t due. The bad boss is the first to imply that it was something he or she did or said that brought about the positive outcome by working cooperatively with people from all walks of life.

5. Shifts blame. The bad boss will glibly say “I’m responsible for…” but will also imply in the same breath that “I couldn’t help it!”

6. Speaks in platitudes. The bad boss will have you salute what isn’t working by bringing up “what’s right and what’s wrong” and “what’s good for the company and what’s a threat to the company.” Platitudes don’t allow talk latitude.

7. Plays favorites. The bad boss dispenses rewards to those who salute the status quo, and permits blame to be shifted to others.

8. Messes up. The bad boss creates very extremely negative outcomes, such as bringing down the company, couple, family, business, church, organization or making them go ’round and ’round from one crisis to the next battle.

9. Doesn’t like change. The bad boss will change a little bit when the heat is on or feeling pressured, then change right back to the way things were.

10. A “do more!” of what isn’t working approach. The bad boss will do more (escalate) of what’s not working in the first place. If over-spending is the problem, he or she will spend more. If talking down to others is the problem, he or she will belittle and argue more when not spied upon.

TRAITS OF THE GOOD BOSS

I-type leaders often tell me: “I only wish I had known about this communication approach sooner to keep lines of communication open. I’ve used my powers to create situations without recognizing what was going on. Now, I’m mindful and aware that I will create results either negative or positive if I don’t stay aware of the talk lanes I’m driving in.”

A good boss is effective and ethical and doesn’t change the rules of the game as he or she goes along. A good boss is a good communicator of honesty, effective listening skills that show respect for all people and problem-solving skills that benefit everyone.

“IF I WERE YOU I’D….”

A bad boss is perfectly comfortable thinking that they know how to run your life. Who knows, perhaps they do. However, your frustration is caused by a bad boss who also likes to hear him- or herself talk, browbeats others, always thinks he or she is “right,” kisses up to superiors while talking down to subordinates. And you know you’re right, don’t you? Colleagues or kids will tell you a bad boss (mate, teacher, supervisor, etc.) has a “You’re bad and I’m better!” attitude, makes empty promises, makes you feel stupid, moves things forward into the next hole, are pot stirrers, negaholics, and debaters to a fault.

CORRALLING THE BAD BOSS

So what can you tell yourself or do when you’re energy is being drained by a bad boss with the help of a big straw stuck in your skull? Well, you can “talk back” in your head using the “Talk to Me” communication system by using these sort of punchy attitudes:

• “Good results are the all of everything!”
• “I dare to care but I won’t be taken advantage of!”
• “You can hang yourself, but I don’t have to hang with you!”
• “That’s a road I don’t want to go on with you!”
• “I don’t have to eat the manure sandwich you hand me!”
• “I’m not a control freak but a peace freak who contributes!”
• “Middle-of-the-road works better than going to extremes!”
• “I don’t suffer from my own knee jerk, me-jerk reactions!”
• “Perhaps the best decision for me is to stay away from you!”

YOU CAN HANG YOURSELF…BUT I DON’T HAVE TO HANG WITH YOU

You may have a “lemon” for a boss, and with any luck, you won’t have one for too long. In any case, most of us have “difficult people” in our life who are teaching us tough life choices and touchy life lessons. Bottom line: You get to choose the road you wish to drive your communicator car down. Choose your road carefully because some communication trips are more enjoyable than others. So make your life your full-time job, today!

ABOUT DAYTON, OHIO, COMMUNICATIONS PSYCHOLOGIST AND KEYNOTE SPEAKER DR. DENNIS O’GRADY

Dr. Dennis O’Grady recommends that you choose your road traveled carefully because some communication trips are more enjoyable to go on than others. O’Grady shows you how the two types of communicators, Empathizers and Instigators, have completely different views of what makes the world go ’round or stop spinning altogether. As a custom, Empathizers don’t take “the easy way” … because E-types are prone to making life too hard for themselves now and then. In contrast, the Instigators aren’t accustomed to taking “the hard way” because I-types are prone to making life too easy for themselves now and then. Either way, positive and effective communication supports you in making decisions that move you down the roads you will find most pleasing to you at any given time in your life. Dr. O’Grady is a professional keynote speaker and seminar leader, and author of “Talk to Me: Communication Moves To Get Along With Anyone” available at this site and Amazon now.

A number of recent news articles have zeroed in on insecurity among chief executive officers (CEOs), such as one titled, “Could insecurity be the secret to CEO’s success?” This USA Today Money section article by Del Jones ran with the subtitles: “Some execs say paranoia keeps them on their toes” and “Some CEOs say insecurity has made them work hard to prove themselves” (02/01/07 USA Today).

Excuse my cynicism. But does this help you feel better about CEOs who, on average, earn in one day what you earn in an entire year (or several)? Who ought to feel insecure here? Anyway, I think the article unintentionally missed the bus on several key points.

WHAT IS INSECURITY?

I know how insecurity works from the inside-out as a 30-year-plus communications psychologist and innovator of the “Talk to Me” strategic leadership communication and decision-making system. I’m also a CEO and family business coach. Ya’ wanna talk insecurity? Do take a minute with me to define first what insecurity is…a negative thought or feeling? Here you go, all of us who feel disturbed by insecurity.

1. The Werewolf Effect: The eerie feeling that you are being hunted down and chased by an out-of-your-control creature who is breathing down your neck.

2. Hyper-Dog: Always on the run with the big dogs, rushing and flitting from pillar to post to get things done perfectly but feeling like a Chihuahua.

3. Fear of Loss: “There’s never enough of (fill in the blank)” cooperation, time, money, talent, luck, understanding, common sense, good leaders, etc.

4. Shame-Faced: Just never feels comfortable in his or her own skin, or that all will be O.K. if he/she doesn’t huff and puff or blow down someone else’s house of self-esteem.

5. Always Nervous Inside: Smiling on the outside, while crying on the inside like a clown.

6. Only Half-Listens: Has trouble trusting, and listening to or benefiting from, negative feedback.

7. Good Soul: Although pained, perplexed and in agony like the rest of us mortals, is more like a childhood carcass whose guilt-laden past keeps the good soul inside from performing at peak levels.

8. Hoarding Mentality: Is likely to give more importance to things or tasks instead of people, and because of paranoia, will keep critical, problem-solving information to himself/herself.

DRIVING HARD TO ACHIEVE DRIVES US ALL WHERE?

Insecurity, in short, wreaks havoc in our relationships with others and our own relationships with the inner child. It’s characterized by this inside-the-skull self-talk: “I’m not going to survive if I don’t push really hard to prove that I can do it in spite of all obstascles and odds!” Psychologically, good luck to us all who seek to right the wrongs of our collective boyhood or girlhood pasts through driving hard to achieve.

WHO ARE THE INSTIGATOR COMMUNICATOR LEADERS OR I-TYPE TALKERS AMONG US?

For people who are Instigator Communicators, the typical Achilles heel is this personal trait: “Is disturbed by insecurity.” A snapshot of an Instigator Communicator, which according to my Dayton 2005 Leadership Study (p. 132) includes 75% of our leaders today, is as follows:

• Is disturbed by insecurity
• Takes pride in pushing hard for own personal needs to be met
• Has high self-esteem most times, but can feel unlovable
• Lacks confidence in dealing with emotions and emotional losses
• Keeps score and likes numbers: “I’m trying to make a point here!”
• Possesses this self-concept: “No one knows the real me or how I truly feel.”
• Accepts as truth this concept: “I’m not as good as I look like I am.”
• Remains calm in a crisis
• Works hard for company and global objectives
• Is a big believer in: “There’s a right way and a wrong way to do this!”

The accompanying snapshot of an Empathizer Communicator or E-type is on pages 95-99 of my communication theory book, “Talk to Me: Communication Moves To Get Along With Anyone” (available at www.drogrady.com or at Amazon).

LOOK WHO’S TALKING: SOMETHING NEEDS TO CHANGE

If you don’t know who you’re talking to by type, you are going to miss the boat and have missed and mixed communication, too. As a group, Instigator communicators feel deeply disturbed by emotions due to disturbing conditions in their childhoods. But let’s not romanticize the drive to succeed, first and foremost, the drive is to help heal a world stinging from the abuses of good leaders gone bad due to their intoxication from massive doses of insecurity.

ABOUT DR. DENNIS O’GRADY, PSY.D., LEADERSHIP COMMUNICATION TRAINER, RELATIONSHIP EXPERT AND STRATEGIC DECISION-MAKING CONSULTANT

Are CEOs afraid of their own shadow? Issues that cause worry for our leaders today according to Pricewaterhouse Coopers 10th Annual Global CEO Survey of 1,084 CEOs conducted in 50 countries from Sept. 14 to Dec. 12, 2006 by the PriceWaterhouseCoopers International Survey Unit are over-regulation (73%), availability of key skills (72%), low-cost competition (66%), energy prices (62%), commodity prices (58%), downturn in major economies (57%), energy security (54%), technological disruptions (53%), security of supply chain (52%) and intellectual property rights (49%). Of course, as a relationship enhancement psychologist, I know our I-typers (or Instigators) are worried too about their Empathizer communicator partners who can feel at a loss for words sometimes to quell rising tides of anxiety and deafening insecurity. This is why the wise CEO and company leader hires a personal communications coach to get “outside-of-the-boss-box” constructive feedback, both positive and negative and almost always useful, to quell the fears that make all of us feel as if a giant werewolf is chasing us down in a dark woods of the soul, where we feel defenseless, small and all alone. The solution to unmitigated fear? To turn around and face the childhood beast that is chasing us down, which will lead to even greater and more adept leadership skills when the sands of changing times are shifting underneath our feet in this ever-expanding heart-mind of a world. You can read the full text of Del Jones’ USA Today article at “Could insecurity be the secret to CEOs’ success?” here. In my opinion, I believe that “previously insecure Instigators or I-types who now feel secure in their own skins” not only don’t lose their edge; but make more effective and ethical leaders when the winds of change are strongly blowing. Dr. Dennis O’Grady is the author of “Talk To Me: Communication Moves To Get Along With Anyone” available at www.drogrady.com and at Amazon.

When you’re frustrated or irritated with someone you work with or love who’s let you down one more time, are you reading too much into it? Making talk copouts or “psychoexcuses” that turn you off from your fellow talk traveler is as commonplace as hungry mice in a house in wintertime. Fast talkers slip out of taking responsibility for their unhelpful actions or inactions by talking fast in slippery ways to slide right past you.

SLIPPERY SPEAK: “I DIDN’T GET AROUND TO IT!”

Examples of using slippery speak or “psychoexcuses” to cover up failures of performance: “I didn’t get around to it!” or “That may be what you heard, I can’t argue with that, but that’s not what I said!” “BUT I didn’t mean to…!” is another way to turn off a family or team member fast. And last but not least, what about, “I don’t do IT all the time!” Hey, maybe you aren’t reading too much into the under-performance and over-promising of a slippery speaker!

“ME”-TALK AND YOU LISTEN

Keeping one’s word is an important lesson for all honest and ethical communicators to learn. If you promise but don’t deliver anything but excuses–your word will be worth less than dull buttons on an old coat due to false advertising. Take a listen and you will hear more “ME”-TYPE TALK below that majors in crafty “psychoexcuses” to distract talks from focusing on the continuing failure to deliver the goods to you.

1. I didn’t get AROUND to it.
2. You can ONLY do so much.
3. I’m NOT a perfect person.
   
4. I gave it my BEST shot but things didn’t work out.
5. You act like I did it on PURPOSE just to spite you!
6. Why am I BLAMED for everything?
7. SO what was it that you heard me say I was going to do?
8. You’ve got to stop living in the PAST and get over it!
9. I just want to do the RIGHT thing by you NOW!
   
10. You’re being a CONTROL freak!
11. IT wasn’t a big deal…why do you make a mountain out of a mole hill?
    
12. There you go again WORRYING about everything!
13. I said I would take responsibility for fixing the PROBLEMS.
14. Who’s to say when somebody should CHANGE?
15. It’s the way it’s ALWAYS been…you can’t blame me.
16. I couldn’t help it BECAUSE I was exhausted and my nerves were shot.
17. Are you telling me you think it was ALL my fault?!
18. I know I seem HARD to reach or talk to lately but…
19. Think POSITIVE…things are going to be O.K.
20. Most of what you see as problems are in your own HEAD!
21. WHY can’t you let it go? We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it!
22. How can I talk WHEN you interrupt me?
23. How can I be honest with you if you ONLY criticize me?
24. Why can’t you STOP focusing on the negative…it makes bad stuff happen?
25. Why do you always have to be SO negative?
26. You can’t fault me for being late ALL the time.
27. You’re taking this way TOO personal!
28. YOU’RE twisting my words around.
29. Who could have seen IT coming?
30. Who could have guessed THAT would happen?
31. I didn’t EXACTLY promise that I would do it.
32. THINGS are pretty black-and-white here.
33. You’ve GOT TO be more reasonable and logical about this problem.

PLEASE DON’T TAKE THIS PERSONALLY, BUT…

I cringe as a psychologist, whenever I hear psychological excuses successfully used to evade being accountable and responsible to our relationships. Talk isn’t cheap, but priceless. In summary, “I meant to BUT I didn’t get around to it BECAUSE…” writes a long laundry list of why you and I didn’t do what was agreed to. Slippery speak excuses are personally prescribed failures that play the victim violin loud and long.

IT WAS THE RIGHT THING TO DO AT THE TIME

I have heard it all before…and so have you when it comes to convenient excuses and mind-spinning rationalizations: “I couldn’t find time to…Some things just don’t fall into place easily like you plan them to…You were in a really bad mood so I couldn’t talk to you…How many times do I have to tell you that I didn’t do it on purpose…Things are going to be O.K. from here on out…IF you would stop getting all bent out of shape things would work out…You’re being WAY too sensitive about this…Why can’t you believe me for a change…It’s ALL going to be just fine…It’ll get better…You’re not as bad as before…Give me a chance to make up for it…You’ve got MY word on it…I didn’t mean to hurt you on purpose or be mean!”

Here’s the point: The word of an excuse-maker is as good as fake gold.

TALK LIKE A PRO?

You’re not reading too much into it! There is trouble brewing and not much is going to change if you believe the pretty promises of a rationalizer. Are you being led around by the nose and your energy drained by a slippery talker? Time to change all that. Why allow an excuse-maker to back you into a talk corner and make you feel depressed about what they are unwilling to do.
You deserve to practice the power of positive communication and personal change to leave your woes, worries and discouragements behind in the rearview mirror of your life.

A LITTLE BIT ABOUT PROFESSIONAL KEYNOTE SPEAKER AND PSYCHOLOGIST DR. DENNIS O’GRADY

Dr. Dennis O’Grady provides executive coaching and professional training in Ohio and surrounding states. Dennis is the author of “Talk to Me: Communication Moves to Get Along with Anyone” which is available in the resource store at his Web site www.drogrady.com. Dr. O’Grady leads workshops, and provides business consulting, about two new communicator types called Empathizers and Instigators. Let’s take “playing by the rules” as a fun example. Empathizers or E-types expect others to make the rules, while Instigators or I-types expect others to play by the rules they make. Likewise, take “grudge matches or grudge keeping.” E-types daily wipe their slate clean which can create co-dependency, while I-types keep accounting records of rights vs. wrongs that can lead into a co-dependency. Knowing who you’re talking to in the workplace by communicator type and temperament, makes all the difference in the “mood” in your workplace and the “effectiveness” of your management team.