Posts in category: POSITIVE ATTITUDE

A mind is a precious thing to misplace in a vast past space that dwarfs your present potentials. This lesson came home forcefully to me recently. I was on my knees on a wooden platform 30 feet underwater in Star Quarry being tested for my open water scuba certification. How did I get myself into this watery mess of a worry mindgeist? Hey, you try kneeling down on a slippery wooden platform in full wet suit and scuba gear and get ready to tear off your mask meters under the water and just you see how you feel!

OH, THE PLACES YOU’LL GO WHEN YOU TALK TO YOUR KIDS AND PLAYERS ON YOUR WORK TEAM

As the air bubbles gurgled around my mask, I wondered: “Why am I here?” That was easy. My middle daughter Riley, who is all of almost 13 years old and a National Geographic certified scuba diver wanted a diving “buddy.” Enter yours truly…playing skills catch up to reach the level of my “water bug.” By the way, Riley wants Dayton to become an island so she can do more diving! Riley’s enthusiasm for diving is contagious…I got bit by my water bug.

I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER WHEN…

So Riley came with me for the two days of four dives to support me. She must have figured I was feeling kind of nervous. I appreciated her comforting wisdom and playful teasing. “You can do it Dad…I did it and it was no big deal!” I should have known better when her blue eyes blazed against the sun of her yellow hair.

I DO WORRY VERY WELL…THANKS…YOU CAN BET I’M AN EXPERT AT WORRYING

It’s easy to learn if you’re an undoubting child who simply follows directions without worry. My mind is a tad bit more “complicated.” Donning a wet suit, BCD, hoses going off from everywhere, masks and fins emphasized that we were entering a different world of experience. Why not worry? I do worry VERY well…I’m an expert at worrying…when I’m swimming in the unknown (or doing anything), I can count on worry to be my buddy. “Who me, worry?” You can bet your mask defogger on it.

LEARNING NEW SKILLS IS A SNAP?

Oh, snap! Being a novice at something when you’re a doctor of psychology is a huge lesson in humility and finding your courage when you have none. So here are some of the lessons of living life underwater and in the undertow of the worry habit.

1. BLOW BUBBLES. Worrying uses up your air supply very quickly. Plus, you’re supposed to breathe normally when you are afraid underwater, to calm yourself down. Advice for living your life today: BREATHE when you feel all chocked up on stress.

2. KEEP TRACK OF YOUR BUDDY. Worrying narrows your view when you’re surrounded by such weird sights as underwater trees, rocks and fish, and wooden platforms that appear out of the haze. I lost my buddy, Billy, once upon a time. I forgot the rule that after a minute you surface and look around for your supportive life line. Advice for living your life today: KEEP YOUR FRIENDS IN SIGHT and talk to them about what you aren’t doing right that you want to do better so you can both survive and thrive.

3. DON’T FLIP OUT TO WHAT-IFS-VILLE. O.K. this isn’t possible, but worth trying any-hoo.  As I was kneeling on a platform 30 feet below surface watching my air bubbles travel a very long distance to the surface…I thought about all kinds of dreadful WHAT IF outcomes.  What IF I failed at the new skills?  What IF I ran out of air?  What IF I looked the fool?  What IF I couldn’t think clearly under the pressured circumstances?  WHAT IF…drives me nuts in a flat second.  Advice for living your life today: EXPERTS ARE THERE TO HELP.  There were three expert diver instructors watching and helping with everything…SO I was not alone and they looked so calm and in control.  Guess they had done this hundreds of times before.

4. STUPID MISTAKES AREN’T THE END OF THE WORLD. Yeah, as I was trying to get my buoyancy just right, that capability to stay at one level and float in “outer space,” I lost my composure. I put too much air into my vest and whoosh up I rushed toward the surface! I bobbled and bumbled and bopped up trying to clear my ears the whole way and forgetting to kick down. I thought I saw a smile on my buddy’s face, as the expert instructors grabbed me and kindly pulled me back down under. Advice for living your life today: GET THE TIPS for correcting a mistake and use them the very next time you find yourself in the same stressful situation.

5. STAY FOCUSED ON THE MOST IMPORTANT TASK AT HAND. The practiced skills sequence seemed complicated to me but was “chunked down” into learnable steps to build confidence. So we filled our masks part-way and cleared it, then filled our masks completely and cleared it, then took our masks all the way off and put it back on and cleared it. When you can’t see the world as you know it to be keep your eyes open because something interesting is about to happen! Advice for living your life today: FOCUS ON THE FIRST STEP and the rest of the skills walk will take care of itself like a cake walk.

6. LISTEN ON LAND…LISTEN UNDERWATER. Communication is a mighty comfort. Underwater you must listen to hand signals to do what’s required, just like listening to the “non-verbal” or “implied” level of communication on dry land. Thirty feet underwater is not the place to start running on a one-way communication street that leads to disaster recovery. Advice for living your life today: IMPROVE YOUR TALK SKILLS every chance you get, everywhere you go.

7. RECORD YOUR PROGRESS. All dives involve a clear discussion of the dive on land before you get wet, a summary of what you’re going to do when you’re in shallow water, doing what was said would be done underwater, and reviewing what was done following the dive. Practice makes perfect…focus isn’t lost and attention doesn’t fly off into “zoner” land. Advice for living your life today: KEEP IT SIMPLE by writing down what the basic steps are to accomplishing your goals.

8. SHOW YOURSELF A LITTLE TENDERNESS. Alright, when was the last time you kneeled for 15 minutes on a wooden plank and considered that every thing you said or did was of weighty importance? When you feel out of your element…when you feel like a novice surrounded by experts…when your mind races away with you…when you are living in a fear-driven future unreality that is draining you—think again by showing yourself just a little tenderness. Advice for living your life today: LIVE YOUR LIFE today as the true person you truly are instead of some faker or “mind spinner.”

WHO ME, WORRY?

Perhaps the best part of new adventures is sharing them one-on-one with one of your kids or work partners. Sharing a couple of days together is “magic” for dads and daughters. Riley talked non-stop to me about all sorts of life events that were unfolding in her head. I learned that she really likes being part of our family. I discovered that worries worries about the upcoming school year were running around in her head like an open valve on a regulator draining the “energy” of her oxygen tank.

FACING OCEAN-DEEP EMOTIONS

I really love my three daughers. As an involved dad, I must face ocean-deep emotions about all sorts of topics the kids bring up. In fact, I saw a big billboard by the quarry that told me to have “the talk” with my kids. I hurrumped: It’s a little late to broach one BIG skill area in a huge way, like S-E-X, when you haven’t done all the “little steps” that prepare for the “big talk” first. It would be akin to taking your kid on a deep dive without having taught them to tread water or dog paddle first.

ON YOUR KNEES 30 FEET UNDERWATER TRYING TO REMAIN CALM IN AN UNKNOWN WORLD

I talk with my kids because I really enjoy talking and listening to my kids…even though I feel like I’m on my knees in scuba gear 30 feet underwater trying to remain calm in a world that isn’t known to me. Of course, most of us feel the same way during our work and/or parenting days and nights when all us “grown up” and mature folk are stretched at the seams ready to pop.

I noticed that the dive masters all truly accepted one another as they are. They joked and teased…but in a healthy way meant to demonstrate support. Each was unique, each had an important part to play, all were important to the team and skilled indviduals in their own merit. I felt safe, trusted and trusting. I knew my skill level was sufficient, and the instructors would make me “proficient” and praise progress instead of chastise my shortcomings.

THERE YOU GO AGAIN, WORRYING?

Yup, I became a “certified open water scuba diver” (better than being “certifiable”) this weekend in spite of my fears. I felt far less afraid due to the expert diving instruction of the dive staff Lynn and Cindy, Hasan, Rick, R.J., Randy “the turtler,” Matt and all the other passionate “let’s have some fun diving” people of Aquatic Realm Scuba Center, in Dayton, Ohio. What a TEAM…respectful of one another but still able to poke fun and tease to break the tension of keeping everyone safe. Diving at White Star Quarry, Bowling Green, Ohio taught me that ALL OF US WORRY SOME when we’re engaged in doing something worthwhile and new.

STILL WORRIED? JUST JUMP INTO THE POOL WITH YOUR BLUE JEANS ON

And Riley, I felt such delight watching you skip toward and then jump into the hotel swimming pool with your blue jeans on…your confidence gives me faith that good things really DO happen to good people like you and me in this world. Thanks for supporting me…ready to dive together?

Oh, and Riley, you know I love you so very much and surely hope that Dayton can become an island SOON and that the Grand Canyon would be more useful if it were filled in with salt water and ready for the next dive.

I am SO very proud of you…keep the spirit of hope, love and faith ALIVE! Live your life today and every day. Relieved, DAD.

Dr. Dennis O’Grady, who believes that everyone should get along in life just swimmingly, is author of the newly published book TALK TO ME: Communication Moves to Get Along with Anyone and founder of New Insights Communications in Dayton, Ohio. He likes to think of his book as a lifeline to anyone who’s drowning in a sea of poor communications. Dennis is also an executive coach, who runs leadership training skills development programs, and is a personal and family positive communications consultant.

Do you run around in your life with your hair on fire worrying? Do you think you think way too much, sometimes? Why worry? About 83% of your daily conversation is the good or bad talking you give yourself inside your own skull. When you talk negatively to yourself, by asking yourself impossible riddles that are worry-conducive, these unanswerable riddles will riddle your confidence and self-esteem. So the point of this article is to teach you how to disrupt negative thoughts on the fly that ground your attempts to soar as a positive person.

ARE YOU UNINTENTIONALLY LOWERING OR RAISING YOUR CONFIDENCE LEVEL?

Here are some examples of negative talking that chip away at your peace of mind and shatter your mind into pieces that start a worry avalanche.

I worry too much.

I must like driving myself nuts!

I re-hash my decisions…until I confuse myself.

I think too much.

I let people get away with murder. I’m too darn nice.

I question whether or not I did the right thing.

I’m probably being too cautious in the face of criticism.

I doubt myself and change horses in mid-stream.

I question if I’m destined to be a negative person.

I should be more disciplined and assertive.

I hate feeling sorry for myself but I feel at such a loss.

I wonder if I will make the same relationship mistakes again.

I ought to stop thinking about these things but I can’t seem to stop.

I dwell on the negative WAY TOO MUCH!

WHO ME, WORRY? NOTHING BAD’S GOING TO HAPPEN, ANYWAY

Well, you get the idea. You can worry about what you did, what you’re doing or how you’re going to manage an uncertain future. Your logical-emotional thinking than spins out of your control, as you worry…worry…and worry some more in ineffective ways that make you feel insecure and unsure of taking creative or novel positive actions that will net nifty results.

DISRUPTING NEGATIVE YOUR THINKING

Talking sense to yourself is pretty easy to do…just you try it and find out for yourself. Typically, negative thoughts escalate negative emotions which fuel increased negative thinking which de-rails your confidence and makes you rail against yourself for being so darn easy to manipulate! Here’s a quick course on interrupting repetitive negative thoughts that lead to nowhere:

1. Listen to the inner-personal chatter that chips away at your self-confidence.

2. Isolate one negative thought to disrupt. Example: “Why do I think too much?” or “Why do I always have to be SO negative?”

3. Disrupt the question-doubting question by decisively talking assertively to yourself.

4. Answer assertively: “This is a riddle that leads to nowhere. I’m not going to bug myself with questions that have no answer. I choose not to back myself into a corner of worrying! Let’s change this damn worry record!”

5. Pat yourself on the back, by saying: “I am in charge of my own mind. I’m not going to trash my self-confidence by talking nonsense to myself right now.”

IF AT FIRST YOU DON’T SUCCEED…TRY, TRY DOING SOMETHING DIFFERENT

Inner-personal talk tools really work well. Negative thoughts that riddle your self-esteem are simply bad habits that you can disrupt with a little practice and chutzpah. The results of negative inner chatter are the same for you and me: namely, worrying lowers your self-esteem…while the results of assertive self-talk protects your prized self-esteem and relationships…all the while still being genuine and responsive in the face of defeats.

Talk some sense to yourself today…you can do it! Just you try it and see.

Believe IT: Although your stress level may be very high, you will be able to cut that amount of personal strain in half, when you use the positive inner talk tools I feature in my book TALK TO ME. I’m not naïve. I realize many of you talk a good game of change, but when it comes right down to actually changing, you love to suffer and get yourself all riled up and running around like Chicken Little shrilling: “The sky is falling…my wave is crashing…I’m sunk and there’s nothing that I can do about it…I’m the victim here…Didn’t you hear me: I’m the victim here!”

10 POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY TIPS OF SELF-LEADERSHIP

In my executive coaching meetings and leadership training seminars, I’ve found the following “10 Positive Psychology Tips of Self-Leadership” to be a really huge help IF you use them four minutes a day to remain calm when everyone around you is losing their heads or stressing out.

1. RISE TO THE PLAN. When you rise in the morning, calmly review in your mind what might be the top 3 “simple tasks” to get done today that might make a huge difference in feeling good about “getting the right things done in the right time frame.”

2. KEEP IT SIMPLE. Right when you get to work, be kid-like and scribble or jot the top tasks down in good old black-and-white ink on a Plan-It Note, so you can physically experience the thrill of crossing off the “DO(NE)” item in glee as you step through your day.

3. BE THE LEADER OF YOUR LIFE. You don’t really do this enough…take hold of your mind and set boundaries with your time and energy. You (and I) can get swept up in the “drama” of it all and fail to follow your own leadership directives. You’ll wear out before your time if you allow psychodramas that permit others to take you “off-course” with their “breathless urgencies and emergencies.”

4. ENCOURAGE YOURSELF DURING DISCOURAGING MOMENTS. How you respond to your “frantic self” is extremely important, and you can do so in a calm, compassionate, nurturing, “care-frontational” soothing tone of voice with practice. Example: “Hey, let’s go easy here, partner.” Or, “Things are bad enough, my friend …what good will be done by working yourself up into a frenzy…easy!?”

5. ACT GOOD WHEN YOU FEEL BAD. Tough to do, I know. But your emotions are not the master or leader of your actions, are they? YOU are the leader of your life and I’m dead serious about that fact, my fellow surfer! If calming self-talk doesn’t seem to calm the troubled waters…keep speaking reassuringly to yourself…because it sure can’t hurt and it sure beats the alternative!

6. RIDE OUT THE STRESS WAVE. Intense, stress-filled feelings rise and then crash on your self-esteem during your work day when you least expect them to; often, you feel as if you have no control over these wave-like feelings. But you do! Ride the stress wave on the sturdy surfboard of your daily goals and yearly passionate mission to stay sane.

7. RE-FOCUS ON THE FLY. The mind easily diverts itself from the directions you’ve given it. No one’s to blame. By being 1 degree off-course, though, you will eventually crash-land in a no-accomplishment zone of thorny aggravation.

8. TAKE A FOUR-MINUTE MENTAL VACATION. To refresh your energy, take an inspiring book, or bookmark a motivating Web page, and then slowly absorb a positive message of the day and use it or lose it!

9. USE INNER-PERSONAL TALK TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. Using positive self-talk REALLY works if you DO IT. Treat yourself as you expect others to treat you. Example: “I will do for myself what others don’t or won’t do for me to be stress-free.” Chapter 5 in my book “Talk to Me” focuses exclusively on the art and science of positive self-talk.

10. JOKE WITH PEOPLE ON THE PHONE/NET. When I’m asked “So, how’s it goin’, Dennis?” I sometimes teasingly reply, “I’m awful.” Usually I receive a sympathetic response: “I’m sorry to hear that…sorry about your luck!” Then I add with a wry smile: “I’m AWE-FULLY good!” Since Empathizer communicators (E-types) are naturally simpatico, it’s also a fun way to find out the communicator type of whom I’m talking to…and make everyone laugh.

GO WITH THE FLOW… STRESS LEVELS ARE FLUID NOT SET IN CONCRETE

By using my powerful new inner-personal communication tools, you can ride the wave of stress instead of being whacked down by IT, even when you exist in the madcap world of work, the pressure cooker called home and the squeezing vice called raising O.K. kids. The psychological secret or key to de-stressing? RIDE the stress wave…be responsive instead of reacting blindly and anxiously to stress…and always, ALL-WAYS remember that you alone are the leader of your life. Or, you can have it your way and keep getting part-drowned and come up sputtering in the frothing whirlpools of stress at work.

TAKE AWAY HALF OF YOUR STRESS TODAY—BE THE LEADER OF YOUR LIFE

So, let’s not run around like chickens with our heads cut off screaming bloody murder. Or if you do…have some fun, because I’m not buying that you’re the victim here– ‘cause “I’m the victim here!” SO to be (or not to be) the psychological leader of your life, you need to experience being fearless during fearful times, many of which are self-created.

Dr. Dennis O’Grady provides executive coaching and professional development training in Ohio and surrounding states. Dennis is the author of “Talk to Me: Communication Moves to Get Along with Anyone” which is a leadership training workbook and is available in the resource store at his Web site www.drogrady.com. Dr. O’Grady leads workshops, and provides leadership executive coaching and business consulting, about two new communicator types called Empathizers and Instigators. One example of a talk difference between the two is that an Empathizer-type communicator is at his or her best when relationship waters are calm, while an Instigator-type communicator is at her or his best when a crisis is burning or brewing. Knowing who you’re talking to in the workplace by communicator type and temperament, makes all the difference in the “mood” in your workplace and the “effectiveness” of your management team.

In popular psychology, high confidence levels or high self-esteem are linked to all sorts of desirable outcomes, such as: Ability to shrug off stress, willingness to take healthy risks in business, positive personal habits such as time management, an easy comfort in new social situations and the ability to be outgoing, good family communication, an optimistic vs. pessimistic mental attitude, great leadership communication, openness to change, student ability to learn tough new material, maturity to handle helpful negative feedback, sports performance when the squeeze is on, ability to close sales or make “cold calls” easily, effective parenting and problem-solving, relationship satisfaction, a habit of worshiping at the church of your choice, etc. Even the very pick of your romantic partner is determined in large part by your confidence level.

Zounds. Seems almost like everything you and I do is somehow linked to our levels of inner confidence. Confidence is one priceless feeling that you can’t buy, the pillar or foundation necessary for taking many new positive actions in spite of fear, isn’t it?

DO YOU FEEL CONFIDENT OR SIMPLY LOOK CONFIDENT…OR DO YOU HAVE EXCESSIVE SELF-ESTEEM?

But how many among us are truly feeling confident…versus putting on a confident face and looking, acting and sounding confident, when in our inner private reality we may be feeling quite down and low or low in self-esteem and shying off from acting proactively on the stage of life? I thought to ask my readers at www.drogrady.com just that question in a weekly poll. Check out the results for yourself:

WHEN IT COMES TO FEELING CONFIDENT…I WOULD DESCRIBE MYSELF AS HAVING:

1. LOW SELF-ESTEEM (LSE): 53.85%

2. HIGH SELF-ESTEEM (HSE): 46.15%

3. EXCESSIVE SELF-ESTEEM (ESE): Zero…O%

COMMUNICATION PSYCHOLOGY DISCUSSION:

Well, if we have a pretty normal group of folks answering the poll (which I think we do)…then about every other person you come across isn’t feeling too terrible confident today, either. Your friend or colleague may look, sound and act confident, but inside in the private interior of everyone’s emotional worlds…would be feeling “less than” or “not good enough”…talking a little bit down on the self, doubtful, pessimistic, less than confident. Wonder what would happen if we all had to wear a badge that announced how we were feeling: Low, high or super-high in self-esteem? Would we act and talk differently toward that person and feel that communication or miscommunication was due to the confidence level instead of the business or personal matters at hand?

WHAT ARE SOME TIPS TO BOOST YOUR SELF-ESTEEM WHEN YOU FEEL BUSTED?

Your self-esteem can be massaged and managed and raised when it’s too low. Here are some mental factors to help you feel up when you feel down from “Managing High Self-Esteem” in my classic book “Taking the Fear out of Changing”:

1. DON’T WAIT UNTIL YOU LOSE OUT BIG TO CHANGE.
2. MAKE SURE YOU LISTEN TO AND USE NEGATIVE FEEDBACK TO GROW AND CHANGE.
3. LEARN TO FACE AND EMBRACE YOUR OWN WEAKNESSES.
4. STOP LIVING IN A BUBBLE.
5. DON’T PUSH AWAY PEOPLE TO PROVE A POINT.
6. FACE YOUR FEARS OF DISCONNECTING YOUR INTIMACY AND SUCCESS DRIVES.
7. LET YOUR SENSITIVITY AND CARING SHOW THROUGH AND DON’T BE A SAP.
8. FANTASIZE ABOUT WHAT YOU ‘WILL DO’ AND DO IT.
9. JOIN A DISCUSSION GROUP OR GET A PERSONAL GROWTH COACH.
10. ENJOY AN OPTIMISTIC MENTAL ATTITUDE.

DEAL WITH NEGATIVISM…PUT OFF PESSIMISM

You CAN alter negative beliefs that reinforce low self-esteem and keep you from taking healthy risks to improve your mood and willingness to take healthy risks.

EXCESSIVE SELF-ESTEEM IS TOO-HIGH SELF-ESTEEM (ESE)?

“The Never Wrong Personality”…is that high-flying person who is VERY certain he/she is right and you and all “lesser” people ought to do exactly as “they say,” and when they say you should do it. I’ll not soon forget one ESE communications client who said: “I feel like an eagle in a world of sparrows…I don’t suffer the stupidity of common people lightly.” Needless to say, he was having tremendous difficulties in his personal relationships, and as a business entrepreneur was only tolerated because he had some money to toss around.

On the good news front, almost half of the people you come across today are feeling pretty good about themselves…which will be linked to positive parenting, positive marital communications, and positive business habits that give a helping hand to making projects go forward instead of stall out.

A CLOSELY HELD SECRET ABOUT SELF-ESTEEM

Dr. Nathaniel Branden, a Los Angeles psychotherapist, is one of my all-time favorite popular psychology authors in the arena of self-esteem…how your levels of confidence can work for or against you…and what you can do to improve your confidence to achieve far better relationship and communication results. There are many others, and all you have to do, is bathe your brain in effective ways to talk some sense to yourself and approve of who you are and what you need to do to feel O.K.

A final secret of high (average) self-esteem is this one: Confidence is a key factor that keeps you moving ahead on a positive path when others around you are being discouraging or distracting you from the taking the “higher road” or “road less traveled” that you need to travel on today to make change happen fast and last.

True confidence is walking softly in this world but carrying a big stick of successful outcomes that are good for everyone.

Dr. Dennis O’Grady is the author of “Talk to Me: Communication Moves to Get Along with Anyone” which is available in the resource store at his Web site www.drogrady.com. Dr. O’Grady discovered two new communicator types called Empathizers and Instigators. One example of a talk difference between the two is that Empathizer-type communicators have a high need for interpersonal emotional contact, while Instigator-type communicators have a high need for interpersonal intellectual respect.

Previous New Insights Communication Polls have included “When You Argue, Are You Always Right?” … “Are You Shy or Stuck Up?”… “How Do You Handle Anger?”…“Are Men or Women Better Communicators?” “How Easily Are You Frustrated?” Read more about these challenging, growth producing topics, and other topics of personal and relationship interest here four minutes every day of the week to make change happen fast and last.

Would you describe yourself as developing or having a positive attitude…a negative attitude…or a neutral attitude? You and I can’t afford the high cost of negative thinking or negative talking, the kind of negativity that taxes and zaps your energy, focus and achievement drive. “Contrarians” listen to negative-news talk stations…”merryians” tune in the positive-attitude talk stations even though doing so takes more work. Are you a negative talker or person who says “no” to life? A positive gal or guy who just says “yes” to life?

PASS UP THE EXPENSIVE LUXURY OF A NEGATIVE THOUGHT

In life you get to choose: “Do I prefer to take the easy road of a negative attitude or the high road of a positive one?” One is not better than the other; just different with different results. Typically, a person using positive psychology principles feels both more happy and sad, more optimistic and pessimistic, more hopeful and hopeless, more depressed and upbeat. In fact, with a positive attitude, more of EVERYTHING is felt and experienced afresh in life.

WHEN LIFE HANDS YOU LEMONADES–BE GLAD YOU DON’T SUCK

Quite literally, a positive person sees everything more vividly and in bright colors instead of in grays or stark black-and-white hues.

Why not dare to care? These are Dr. Dennis O’Grady’s “10 Ways to Walk the Talk of a Positive Person:”

1. Dare to care
2. Refuse to swim in a pool of pity
3. Sing positive songs in your mind
4. Walk away from gossipers
5. Play “the angel’s advocate”
6. Look through the fog of mistakes to the miracles
7. Talk positively about personal travails
8. Pass up the expensive luxury of a negative thought
9. When life hands you lemonades–be glad you don’t suck
10. Don’t hide under the couch when fear comes knockin’

PLAY THE ANGEL’S ADVOCATE

Well, I wrote in a previous article that singer-songwriter Willie Nelson is “a merryian or merry man”…“an optimist”…“a positive person”…”a cowboy with a positive attitude.” Although I may not personally know you, I suspect you’re not always a cheery camper, either. In fact, you may feel frustrated that you can “see the solutions to problems a mile off” but not be able to make them stick. Now, you don’t have to do something 100% perfect to do something well, do you?

LOOK THROUGH THE FOG OF MISTAKES TO THE MIRACLES

Optimist groups meet around the country to try and instill positive attitudes in people who can’t afford the expense of a negative thought. According to The Optimists Creed, that means you and I would try positively:

“To be so strong nothing can disturb your peace of mind.”

“To make all your friends feel that there is something in them.”

“To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.”

“To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.”

“To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.”

“To think only of the best, to work only for the best and to expect only the best.”

REFUSE TO SWIM IN A POOL OF PITY

Are you an optimist or a pessimist? Do you work to have a positive attitude or a negative attitude? Are you a merryian or a contrarian? Do you “dare to care” or are you too scared to “dare to care?!” You get to choose what to do at this change crossroads: Do you prefer to take the easy road of a negative attitude or the high road of a positive one?

Dr. Dennis O’Grady is the founder of New Insights Communication, an executive coaching and “Leadership Talks” communications firm in Dayton, Ohio. He holds a B.A. degree from Michigan State University, an M.A. degree in Behavioral Counseling from Michigan State University, and the Doctorate of Psychology degree from Wright State University. His communication handbook, TALK TO ME, answers the question “Why can’t we all just get along?” Dennis believes that four minutes a day is all that’s required to keep your attitude positive even when life sucks pears. Can you spare the time, brother? You can NOT afford the expensive luxury of negative thinking that drains your life energy.