Posts in category: POSITIVE ATTITUDE

In his golden years, Dr. Seuss wrote a tribute to life’s passages of change titled, “Oh, The Places You’ll Go!” It’s a wonder-filled story of life wisdom. High school and college graduates alike use it to flip off fear and toss guilt grenades to a place that’s safe. In any relationship, loads of fear and guilt, particularly, can fog in the ship of your dreams and make you feel lost and sunk.

When I was working on the “Guilt Bombs” article for my Web page, I was forcefully reminded just how prevalent interpersonal guilt is—and how guilt is used as a power play to force another against his/her will to do what others want them to. I also thought about how often, as a communications psychologist, I’ve heard a plethora of metaphors to describe how difficult IT can sometimes be to STOP being manipulated by guilt trippers who try to get our goat. Letting go of unearned and misplaced guilt and shame is a courageous challenge for us all.

I’m not trying to kiss up, sell you something, blow smoke up your butt, bend your mind or make you do something against your will. But I do want you to DO something right now. And here’s what I want you to do: “Make my and your day by writing down — on paper, in a Word document, in an e-mail to yourself, whatever — exactly why you’re SO awesome!”

This exercise is intended especially for all of you sensitive gals and guys who are prone to being a little bit shy about how great thou art! Y’all “sensitive types” gotta get over being so sweet and inward-gazing! And I can help you with my new communication system called TALK TO ME.

Do you sell yourself short with the excuse that you don’t want to become “stuck up?” Why do you sell yourself short? It’s time to sell yourself on yourself!

Are you a positive thinker, a positive talker and a positive doer? Does your personal credo make you a living legend, of sorts, because you choose to deploy an optimistic mental attitude and make a constructive impact in life?

Or do you prefer to be a “contrarian,” a negative talker who is a negative thinker and a negative doer? In my book TALK TO ME, I cover what effective communication is all about for all of us.

Healthy self-esteem lets us accept our selves and enjoy life. Although we all strive for healthy self-esteem, many people don’t realize its complexity. Biggest myths:

Myth: People with healthy self-esteem have no faults….or at least don’t recognize them.

Truth: They are acutely aware of their weaknesses or Achilles Heel. Their edge: They have a plan… they are constantly working to overcome their weaknesses…they correct the problem instead of blame the person.

Myth: People with healthy self-esteem never feel down.

Truth: They can be very insecure – they just use positive communication tools to cope better. When they run into trouble they work to resolve it now not later. Instead of only making a “to do” list…they commit to a “DO(NE)” one.

Are you a hard self-talker, as in, “It’s depressing to get up in the morning!” You can make happen what you say will be so…by telling yourself IT will BE SO. Ironically, since time is on your side…NOT getting up on time can be a contributing cause of depression. And if you’re late to work or school that can add even more weight to your dourly depressive thinking.

The Hurry-Up Cycle That Causes Lateness and “The Blues”
A vicious “hurry up” cycle of getting up late…feeling rushed…feeling depressed…getting up late…feeling rushed…losing energy…staying in bed longer and longer…can ensure you will drive yourself batty. In my opinion, it’s not so much about getting up ON TIME. It’s about respecting your needs to get up ON YOUR TIME.

Are You Starting Your Day Your Way…Why or Why Not?

Here’s how one client described “the torture” that begins when the alarm clock rings:

“That (getting out of bed) depresses me!” Why get out of bed to start the torture of the day? Sleeping works for me as an escape BUT I want to get up on time all the time. I can’t seem to do it, no matter how hard I try. I love my bed and sleeping because there are no battles to fight…no one is complaining…there are no failures to face…no bad moods to overcome…no pressures to be perfect…no worries about the future. On the other hand, I don’t want to become a lazy vegetable. Shouldn’t I be more disciplined like people I know who get up to get going in the morning?”

Respect your needs to GET UP ON YOUR TIME! Why let “bed” or “sleep” be the great escape for living a wide-awake life?

What To Do To Slide Into a Positive Day

How can you show respect for yourself–and for your need to GET UP ON YOUR TIME?! Here are eight, easy-to-follow, steps:

1. Decide on YOUR TIME to rise in the morning
2. Set your alarm clock, and test the sound, to YOUR TIME
3. When your alarm goes off…put both feet on the floor on YOUR TIME
   
4. Only punch off the alarm clock when YOU are out of bed
5. Do not return to bed for any reason whatsoever
6. Sleepily go about your routine until you wake up
7. Don’t go back to bed even for a second…STAY ON YOUR TIME
   
8. Enjoy feeling more relaxed in the morning

Mood Managing: It won’t take 30 days to learn this new habit. About four days is all it takes. The crucial feature of this approach is to respect yourself…by getting up on YOUR TIME for a change.

Why suffer at your own hands any longer? The best parts of you are awake and raring to go. Why sleep through life when you have so much to offer to life…and life has so much to give back to you in exchange?

Start your day your way. Get up AT YOUR TIME…and let go of pressuring yourself to get up ON TIME. Your mood and energy will appreciate your caring concern.

When you GET UP ON YOUR TIME…you will feel less depressed. Start your day by managing your mood your way to kick the day off to a positive start.

Dr. Dennis O’Grady who is a Dayton, Ohio, psychologist teaches communication tools to overcome dysphoria, anxiety and obsessive thinking in his books and workshops on change and communication management