Posts in category: TYPE TALK

Let’s be thoughtful of the feelings of others and think through relationship impacts before uttering a sharp word that cuts deep into psychic skin. While Empathizer communicators won’t steam roll over another, E-types do put the “roll” in “rock and roll” while driving serenely down the two-way communicator highway.

WHAT DO YOU ADMIRE ABOUT YOUR EMPATHIZER PALS, PARTNERS, AND CO-WORKERS?

Here’s what “let’s get busy making good communication come alive” leaders admire about Empathizer leaders who put the “roll” in “rock and roll”…

1. Empathizers set a positive tone of acceptance and nurturing. They make good mothers, fathers, coaches, and life mentors.

2. Empathizers are very thoughtful, going out of their way to send a positive e-mail message or pick out a special greeting card.

3. Empathizers are more open-minded. They see more sides to an issue without defensively taking sides.

4. Empathizers make good sounding boards.

5. Empathizers remember stuff better, especially those emotionally meaningful events.

6. Empathizers don’t hurry to produce results, thereby avoiding making costly mistakes.

7. Empathizers skillfully diffuse hostile situations, mindful of the importance of relationships.

8. Empathizers coach Instigators on when and how to show emotions.

9.  Empathizers are compassionate. They care more for others’ feelings.

10. Empathizers are great leaders. They have a high Emotional I.Q.

11. Empathizers provide the balance of acknowledging others while accomplishing tasks.

12. Empathizers help you cope when you’re down by having a good sense of humor. They paint a picture of a hopeful future.

INSTIGATORS ROCK…EMPATHIZERS ROLL

You can’t rock-and-roll if you’re minus one communicator type, any more than you can clap hands using only one hand. Empathizers are the left hand, while Instigators are the right hand. Together they rock and roll by solving problems together. Without fail, I’ve seen it happen hundreds of times in my workshops and relationship coaching.

THERE ARE PROBLEMS…AND THERE IS PROBLEM-SOLVING COMMUNICATION

CARS serve as the metaphor in the TALKME© system. Ignoring Empathizer strengths is similar to going without heating and air conditioning in your automobile. E-types are your emotional temperature gauges. Can you get through a winter without their strengths?

Discounting Instigator strengths is similar to traveling without a map or GPS device. I-types are our expert map readers, who will get you there on time. Can you get through a summer vacation without using their strengths?

Move through the seasons skillfully by adopting the opposite strengths of both Empathizer and Instigator communicators. That way, you will have two hands on the steering wheel and applaud your new results while traveling down Success Avenue.

Dr. Dennis O’Grady is a family business psychologist, corporate trainer and marriage counselor. (937) 428-0724.

Let’s get right to the point. Instigator communicators pull the trigger and don’t worry about hurting the feelings of others. Isn’t that so useful to the progress of us all sometimes? Here’s what a “let’s get busy communicating teaming and living” leaders admired about Instigators…

1. Instigators get to the point.

2. Instigators balance logic with sensitivity.

3. Instigators can remove themselves from a tough issue.

4. Instigators lead with reason more than with emotion.

5. Instigators keep on track and don’t land in a ditch.

6. Instigators get fast results.

7. Instigators don’t shy away from conflict.

8. Instigators take charge.

9. Instigators don’t worry as much and move through changes quickly.

10. Instigators are great, natural born leaders.

11. Instigators are taskmasters.

12. Instigators don’t dwell on the past. They move on using short-term memory that benefits us all over the long haul.

USING THE TALK2ME© SYSTEM

Empathizer communicators make decisions more slowly and cautiously than their Instigator pals. Nonetheless, you, too, can adopt the balanced strengths of Instigator-type communicators who look after the team, even when it might take hurting an individual’s feelings.

Clinical psychologist Dr. Dennis O’Grady is a corporate trainer and couples counselor. (937) 428-0724

Do you remove emotions from equations? If you do, you were born to win as an Instigator-type communicator. If you don’t, you were born to win as an Empathizer-type communicator. I-Win…You Win…We Win…is the best approach to solving vexing problems with TALK2ME© technology.

TALK TOO MUCH WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING?

What are common stereotype talk barriers that can be removed from the communication equation?

Here are the limiting beliefs that Instigator-type (I-type) communicators live out in ignorance about their Empathizer pals….

1. Empathizers think with hearts, not heads.

2. Empathizers’ feelings are hurt too easily.

3.  Empathizers stall out instead of making decisions all on their own.

4. Empathizers don’t multi-task. They slow things down when urgency calls.

5. Empathizers keep bringing up the past. This limits present problems being solved.

6. Empathizers are so afraid of making mistakes that they fail to take action when action is needed.

7.  Empathizers worry too much. They worry about being blamed for making tough decisions.

8. Empathizers don’t let logic rule. They’re not rational when emotions run hot.

9. Empathizers are too dramatic. They predict doom and gloom when fear is on the offensive.

10. Empathizers erroneously base decisions on how relationships are impacted.

11. Empathizers are too interested in petty things, such as personal relationships.

12. Empathizers talk too much without saying anything.

13. Empathizers use body language expressively to communicate mood, instead of using words.

14. Empathizers are never wrong when it comes to solutions to fix problems.

15. Empathizers are not business oriented.

16. Empathizers are afraid of what others think, and they doggedly seek approval.

17. Empathizers’ feelings are hurt too easily

18. Empathizers blame others who don’t have a high Emotional I.Q.

19. Empathizers do not take responsibility for fictions of imagined reality.

20. Empathizers are flustered too easily; can’t handle pressure.

In short, Instigator communicator, wisely advise all Empathizer communicators to remove unnecessary emotions from the Relationship Life and Work Life Equation.

Enough said, already?

GOT A CHANGE ATTITUDE?

TALK2ME© is an enlightening communication system that begs to be used, because it works! Experience the ‘light bulb comes on’ results for yourself. Dr. Dennis O’Grady is a corporate trainer who also provides marriage counseling and relationship communication training.  Call (937) 428-0724.

DON’T BEAT AROUND THE BUSH…

A major criticism that Empathizer-type communicators have of Instigators is that I-types don’t beat around the bush long enough, but instead, come straight to the point. E-types like to groom the bush, hug it and trim it, provide nourishing water and fertilizer, and generally hang around to see if all the nurturing makes a difference. Different strokes for different folks, y’all.

Knowing that E-types feel miffed when they are stiffed of relationship regard, it would follow that, when miffed and stiffed, E-types will erect a resentment wall. If you’ve ever tried scaling a resentment wall, you know how difficult it is, whether you intend to accomplish a task just beyond the wall right now or whether you want to know how to make it successfully past the wall, just in case you need this information in the future.

Now, once you have mastered the technique of identifying the talk type of yourself and that of your talk partner, you’ll be able to put the strengths of both types into play. The traits and habits of either type are easily applied to most any situation, depending on what you are trying to accomplish. When you use the Million Dollar Talk Tools from your Communicator Toolbox, you’ll find that the efforts net good results for all.

The Rule of Personal Mood Motivation: When you step on the toes of your fellow talk dancer, a significant reduction of work activity or output will predictably result. That’s why it’s so important to learn the talk dance steps of TALK2ME.

Dr. Dennis O’Grady is a family business communication consultant from Dayton, Ohio. He is a marriage counselor and effective communications coach. Contact Dennis at (937) 428-0724 to select modules from the library of positive and effective communication to achieve your desired results.

Are you improving your communication skills a little each day? Only if you know your communicator type. Read down the list below to find out which type of communicator you are! For example, Empathizer communicators agree to pick up negative feelings too easily, and Instigator communicators agree to pass along negative feelings too easily, both without realizing it:

An Empathizer is naturally more sensitive and tuned in to the feelings of others.
Listening with three ears is typical of Empathizer behavior.

An Instigator is naturally less sensitive and tuned in to the thoughts of others.
Listening with half an ear, or maybe half an ear on each side of the head, is common among Instigators.

An Empathizer is at his or her best when relationship waters are calm.
Stroking loving bonds and feeling loving and valuing, are feelings with which Empathizers feel comfortable.

An Instigator is at her or his best when a crisis is burning or brewing.
Keeping a calm head during a blazing crisis is what Instigators do best.

An Empathizer feels sad because he/she fears Instigator anger.
Feeling lonely brings down the mood of an E-type.

An Instigator feels mad because he/she fears Empathizer sadness.
Feeling bored brings down the mood of an I-type.

An Empathizer deals with anxiety by talking about negative issues with a friend.
An Empathizer follows gut feelings and leads with emotions.

An Instigator deals with anxiety by doing something positive with a friend.
An Instigator follows logic and takes the lead away from emotions.

An Empathizer may stuff hurt feelings inside when he/she doesn’t get what he/she wants.
An Empathizer, when hurt, can avoid or pull back from relationships.

An Instigator pushes without guilt to get what he/she wants.
An Instigator, when smarting, can be too aggressive about relationships.

An Empathizer prefers to speak by using emotions
An Empathizer changes more when using the language of beliefs.

An Instigator prefers to speak by using beliefs.
An Instigator changes more when using the language of emotions.

An Empathizer correctly believes the world is one in which humans help each other.
An Empathizer works hard to reduce losses.

An Instigator correctly believes the world is a dog-eat-dog kind of place.
An Instigator works hard at winning.

An Empathizer wants to resolve past issues now, in the present moment.
They prefer relationship problem-solving to improve togetherness.

An Instigator wants to move beyond what’s happened in the past.
Fixing things and making strategic future change – plans are what Instigators prefer.

An Empathizer forgets to put on his/her stage makeup.
Sincerity, being loyal, and real confidence are everything to an Empathizer.

An Instigator puts on a positive face.
Genuineness, being powerful, and projecting confidence are everything to an Instigator.

As Empathizer and Instigator communicators learn to better understand their weaknesses and proactively utilize their respective strengths, then every communicator, couple, and family will feel more at ease.

Dennis O’Grady, PsyD provides effective communication workshops, couple communication training and family business communication seminars using his innovative and effective TALK2ME system.. Dennis can be reached at 937-428-0724.