Posts in category: TYPE TALK

In the communication well, how do you drill down to the depths of good communication? TALK2ME Class 16 committed to acquiring the strengths of their opposite communicator types. Empathizer leaders decided to become assertively fearless, while the Instigator leaders decided to become fearless listeners. What strength will complement your communication toolbox?

THE EMPATHIZER SIDE OF TALK STREET

•    Use compassion and be sensitive.
•    Be more direct.
•    Lack of fear.  I don’t want to be afraid of failure. I want to be successful.
•    Be a little more assertive. Be a little more driven.
•    Commitment. Make a commitment.
•    Be more empowering to my guys instead of being on the same friend level.
•    Go-to guy. Be the person to rely on to promote quality and     success in the work environment.
•    Empowering. Be a charismatic leader and a clutch performer. Be a manager who delivers under pressure, time, and need.

THE INSTIGATOR SIDE OF TALK STREET

•    Be a listener. When you listen you earn. Be less competitive. Less is more sometimes.
•    Be able to step outside the situation and walk in the other person’s shoes. Have more consideration and compassion about what’s going on with him.
•    I would have to say more approachable. Be able to get the employees to understand that if they have problems and gripes, they can come and talk to me. Not be afraid to talk to me.
•    Be a better listener.
•    I would have to say be a better listener.

COMMUNICATOR MOTIVATOR

What is your motivation and communication purpose? Is the intent of your straight talk to help, to heal, or to harm? You are a communicator motivator! Communication matters all the way out and all the way back. Who’s in the driver’s seat of your life?

ONE TEAM

Are you one team? Do you apply customer-centered communication tools? Dennis O’Grady is a Communication Expert and the Developer of The TALK2ME Communication System. Dennis is a professional speaker and communication educator, who can be reached at (937) 428-0724.

CAN’T TEACH OLD DOGS NEW TRICKS?

It’s all about communication. Are you able to link the benefits of your effective communications training back to your real life circumstances to navigate the future? I sincerely hope so. People schooled in the Talk2Me© system often utilize their newfound abilities to accomplish great tasks, surprisingly easily. Can’t teach old dogs new tricks? Oh, yes we can! Here’s what one Empathizer-type (E-type) communicator realized through discovering and using his hidden talents….

EXPRESS YOURSELF

Hello, Dennis:

I’ll do my best to describe the “tie back to real life” benefits of the Talk2Me© work we do in class. I suppose that “counting the benefits of on-the-fly talk practices netting great rewards” is a no-brainer. Silence is a killer in my family life, while conflict isn’t a thriller in my work life. Here’s a brief list of what I experienced when “the light bulb came on….”

I am…

•    able to stay centered rather than get embroiled in a non-productive argument
•    better able to listen to what I don’t want to hear
•    able to work at higher energy levels
•    able to achieve more effective results in my scientific endeavors
•    able to lead professional groups and encourage them to operate with more positive energy and esprit de corps
•    able to more clearly write responses to blogs at drogrady.com
•    able to apply tools and strategies, learned in communication training, to business and home settings
•    able to get out of “thinking ruts” more quickly
•    able to feel more compassion for everyone I encounter
•    able to talk about my emotions without causing additional problems
•    able to relate to my children better and enjoy them more
•    able to openly discuss personal situations with my wife
•    able to let go of negative “sticky or tarry” feelings more efficiently
•    able to love more deeply
•    able to cry more completely
•    able to be curious and open minded
•    better able to handle unexpected changes
•    able to feel unconditional confidence
•    able to walk in the shoes of others in authentic ways
•    more able to explore the wonders of life
•    better able to understand complex concepts such as religion, politics, sex
•    able to team up with other scientists and professionals to make needed changes that benefit everyone
•    able to feel like running away but instead stand strong like an oak tree
•    able to “not know” without panic or fright
•    able to feel guilty without gutting myself
•    able to encounter others rather than critique others
•    better able to live in my head, body, emotions, relationships, etc., in ways that break free of childhood patterns
•    more able to embrace hope
•    able to live my life free of outside beliefs that used to be security blankets
•    able to leave the coffin called the “comfort zone”
•    able to express myself without apologizing

In short, knowledge is not the same as experiencing life.

WHO IS “TALK DOC” DENNIS O’GRADY?

As a communication expert, Dayton-based Dennis E. O’Grady, Psy.D., wears two hats: one of corporate trainer in leadership communication skills and the other as a couple communications expert. The Talk2Me© system provides tools and strategies to bridge communication gaps and to help resolve both family and workplace difficulties. Dr. O’Grady’s mission is to give you communication tools to use to improve the quality of your life. Dennis is the author of Talk to Me: Communication Moves To Get Along With Anyone. www.drogrady.com.

Have you ever wondered how not to give feedback to an Instigator communicator. I have, since feedback is the standard way we drive out of our ruts or comfort zones, which are often our coffins. So, how is it that you shut down your fellow communicator without knowing why or how? Instigator communicators, or I-types, love reason and hate emotions. So, long story short, get all upset and go over the top emotionally, which includes being too sweet and sugary. As thick-skinned as they are, I-types simply don’t trust rampant or extreme emotions.

SHUT DOWN FEEDBACK: GIVE INSTIGATORS NO REASON TO SPARK BACK AT YOU

When dealing with instigators? When you’re feeling too sensitive? What are fast ways to turn off an Instigator or I-type talker – like shutting off a faucet? Don’t push back, but simply withdraw, giving I-types no reason to spark – or bark – back at you. End of discussion!

According to one of my Talk2Me© training groups, here’s how to shut off I-types in short order:

• Ignore them: “Hang on; I’ll let you know.”
• Look at someone who is yelling at you, and walk away.
• Do not give attention to them – don’t listen or be preoccupied.
• Be overly nice. You’re not giving them a reason to spark back at you.
• Being nice is a form of sarcasm and pisses the I-type off even more.
• Attack their procedures. Question their ways of doing things; be able to do things better than they can.
• Show them they’re wrong. OUCH!
• Find fault and inconsistencies, compared to the norm.
• Because they’re not used to being wrong, they shut down.
• Don’t allow them to take the reins and run.
• Make them into followers instead of leaders.
• Linebacker: “You can’t shut us down; you can only hope to contain us!”
• Question their resiliency or the ability to bounce back.
• Criticize their performance as quantity, but not quality. Double OUCH!
• “Cause it wasn’t my idea” makes me feel insecure and inferior.
• Don’t offer any rational explanations: “Do it because I said so!”

I-TYPE TENACITY: YOU CAN’T SHUT US DOWN; YOU CAN ONLY HOPE TO CONTAIN US

Even “insensitive and logical problem solving people (men and women) who take charge and ride the bull through the china shop”…or everyday I-type leaders…have their breaking point. As one I-type trainee put it directly and pointedly: “Reason will prevail on my watch. You can’t shut us down; you can only hope to contain us!”

ABOUT “TALK DOC” DENNIS O’GRADY, Psy.D.

Dennis delivers Talk2Me© Leadership Communication workshops which provide a Communication Toolbox full of positive communication tools to set people up for success. Dr. O’Grady can be reached at (937) 428-0724 or at www.drogrady.com.

Imagine putting an industrial strength zipper over the mouth of the “takes things too personally” Empathizer-type (E-type) communicator. Oh, what the heck! Put two industrial strength zippers over that E-type’s mouth, and then wonder why he doesn’t ever tell you what you don’t want to hear. You know the drill: “If I want to know what you think…I’ll tell you!”

TO TURN OFF BRIGHT IDEAS, INTERRUPT EMPATHIZERS WHILE THEY’RE TALKING

How do you turn off and shut up an E-type, or ice them instead of being (n)ice? How to tightly zip the lips of an E-type communicator, according to a training group of “precision Instigator communicators” who were learning to use the Talk2Me© Toolbox:

• “Get your head out of your arse.”
• Be very demanding: This is how I want things done.
• Set unobtainable goals.
• Do not cooperate.
• Interrupt them when they’re speaking.
• Disrupt their train of thought.
• Cut them off in mid-thought to hurt their feelings.
• “You’re idea is really stupid!” (Use prescriptive pejoratives.)
• BECAUSE I’M THE BOSS (Hurts most.)
• Formal power: “Because I said so.”
• Often pull rank: “Because I’m responsible to see that this gets done!”
• Do not listen at all, but instead multi-task when they’re trying to talk to you.
• “Shut up – this is not a social hour.”
• “We don’t have time to socialize. We’ve got to get back to work.”

Make a commitment to the on-going change in your comfort zone of miscommunication.

HOW TO OPEN UP LINES OF COMMUNICATION SO THAT EMPATHIZERS WILL TALK MORE

People who are E-types are starved for personal communication, but they will move sideways or back away and withdraw into a shell when dinged.

How to open up lines of communication with Empathizers:

• Give credit where credit is due
• Use the “compliment sandwich” approach
• Disallow team or family members a personal platform for complaining
• Step out of your daily grind and take a minute to talk
• Don’t knock on people
• Give-and-take positives
• Make sure your E-type feels appreciated
• Open and regular communication is key
• Secrets are deadly, so share information regularly
• Give others a boost
• When you talk, ask more questions
• Listen without a preconceived agenda
• Fill up their energy tanks
• Make weekly deposits in their Relationship Savings Account
• Make yourself somebody important to talk to

“SHUT UP AND GET GOING!”

Empathizers can be starved for acceptance, recognition, and energy validation. Thus, E-types need lots of love! You must overcome the hurdle of disbelief that sends the message: “You’ve got to shut up and get going and put the past behind you!” So you really DO want to be a better leader at home, work, school or church? Open and regular communication is the key!

ABOUT “TALK DOC” DENNIS O’GRADY, Psy.D.

Dennis delivers Talk2Me© Leadership Communication workshops which provide a Communication Toolbox full of positive communication tools to set people up for success. Dr. O’Grady can be reached at (937) 428-0724 or at www.drogrady.com.

Are you able to link the benefits of your effective communications training back to your real life circumstances? I sincerely hope so. People schooled in the Talk2Me© system often utilize their newfound abilities to accomplish great tasks, surprisingly easily. Can’t teach old dogs new tricks? Oh, yes we can! Here’s what one Empathizer-type (E-type) communicator realized through discovering and using his hidden talents….

EXPRESS YOURSELF

Hello, Dennis:

I’ll do my best to describe the “tie back to real life” benefits of the Talk2Me© work we do in class. I suppose that “counting the benefits of on-the-fly talk practices netting great rewards” is a no-brainer. Silence is a killer in my family life, while conflict isn’t a thriller in my work life. Here’s a brief list of what I experienced when “the light bulb came on….”

I am…

• able to stay centered rather than get embroiled in a non-productive argument
• better able to listen to what I don’t want to hear
• able to work at higher energy levels
• able to achieve more effective results in my scientific endeavors
• able to lead professional groups and encourage them to operate with more positive energy and esprit de corps
• able to more clearly write responses to blogs at drogrady.com
• able to apply tools and strategies, learned in communication training, to business and home settings
• able to get out of “thinking ruts” more quickly
• able to feel more compassion for everyone I encounter
• able to talk about my emotions without causing additional problems
• able to relate to my children better and enjoy them more
• able to openly discuss personal situations with my wife
• able to let go of negative “sticky or tarry” feelings more efficiently
• able to love more deeply
• able to cry more completely
• able to be curious and open minded
• better able to handle unexpected changes
• able to feel unconditional confidence
• able to walk in the shoes of others in authentic ways
• more able to explore the wonders of life
• better able to understand complex concepts such as religion, politics, sex
• able to team up with other scientists and professionals to make needed changes that benefit everyone
• able to feel like running away but instead stand strong like an oak tree
• able to “not know” without panic or fright
• able to feel guilty without gutting myself
• able to encounter others rather than critique others
• better able to live in my head, body, emotions, relationships, etc., in ways that break free of childhood patterns
• more able to embrace hope
• able to live my life free of outside beliefs that used to be security blankets
• able to leave the coffin called the “comfort zone”
• able to express myself without apologizing

In short, knowledge is not the same as experiencing life.

WHO IS “TALK DOC” DENNIS O’GRADY?

As a communication expert, Dayton-based Dennis E. O’Grady, Psy.D., wears two hats: one of corporate trainer in leadership communication skills and the other as a couple communications expert. The Talk2Me© system provides tools and strategies to bridge communication gaps and to help resolve both family and workplace difficulties. Dr. O’Grady’s mission is to give you communication tools to use to improve the quality of your life. Dennis is the author of Talk to Me: Communication Moves To Get Along With Anyone. www.drogrady.com.