At The Hub Of The Communication Wheel

You are at the center of the world when it comes to being a competent communicator. In fact, I use a wagon wheel as a metaphor in my intensive Talk2Me© communication skills training. Imagine this: You are at the hub of the communication wheel, and out from you extend many spokes connecting you with those you work with and love. As the hub, when you speak accurately and precisely, your good vibes spin down the spokes to positively impact everyone you know. When you overreact negatively, well, the opposite happens, and good talks get stuck in a rut. Isn’t it a great response-ability to be at the center of the Talk Universe? You bet it is, so let’s hop on board the wagon train that’s headed out West!

WHAT SHOULD BE AT THE HUB OF GOOD COMMUNICATION?

What should be at the hub of good communication? According to ten professional men and women – five Empathizer-type (E-type) and five Instigator-type (I-type) communicators – who were participants in a three-day, intensive Talk2Me training program…

1. Respect is spelled LISTEN.

2. A little effort is often all it takes for good relationship communication at home and at work.

3. Even though someone doesn’t respond to your idea, it doesn’t mean it’s a bad idea. Don’t take the non-response to your idea personally.

4. Listen…Listen…Listen. Don’t make a snap judgment or premature decision before you hear the entire thought.

5. R-E-S-P-E-C-T = LISTEN.

6. Confidence and competence matter equally in trusting communication.

7. Don’t let perceptions get in the way of getting things done!

8. Trust and respect flow from the hub of internal communication…down the spokes to others in the company…and out to your external customers.

9. Go to meetings with an open mind and give each person around the Communicator Table time to ask questions or to respond to the new idea. And if someone doesn’t respond, don’t let it hurt your feelings or inhibit future presentations of your ideas. Don’t take it all to heart.

10. Be more understanding of both sides – Empathizer and Instigator – in order to forge an alliance and accommodate needs. Meet in the middle of the Communicator Table to collaboratively develop strategies which will result in improved results that astonish everyone.

11. Treat everybody the way you would like to be treated!

The two teams – E-type and I-type – included both men and women. Did you notice that some items were listed more than once, indicating that both communicator types agreed on those particular elements?

THE OPPORTUNITY WHEEL

Call it the Opportunity Wheel…the Communication Wheel…the Communicator Table. You’ve got to keep rolling along or your wheel will get stuck in a rut and remain there for a very long time! Then you can call it the “Good Grief!” Wheel, and it will keep rolling over you to flatten your hopes, dreams, or aspirations.

WHAT CAN I DO?

Help is now here with the Talk2Me© talk technology. Studying the T2M system just 4 minutes a day is all it takes. Example: When you know your talk type and how you’ve inappropriately labeled your opposite talk type, change happens fast and lasts in all of your Wild West communication adventures.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T EQUALS LISTEN…PULL THE WAGON IN THE SAME DIRECTION

On behalf of all of us, thank you, Aretha Franklin, for expressing that RESPECT is crucial to centering communication instead of deflecting it into a ditch. Why ditch good communication via distracting arguments or by giving the silent treatment? Be wary and aware: you generate your own stunning insights about how to fix a broken wagon wheel, so you can pull your wagon through difficult mountain passes…and with the help of your friends and team, you’ll be on your way to California for the 1800’s gold rush, without getting scalped or frozen in the winter of zero-degree communication.

WHO IS “TALK DOC” DENNIS O’GRADY?

Dennis E. O’Grady, Psy.D., is a Dayton communications psychologist and relationship communications coach. Dennis wears two hats, one of corporate trainer in leadership communication skills and the other as a couple communications expert. The Talk2Me system bridges communications gaps and helps resolve family conflicts. Dr. O’Grady’s mission is to give you tools to use to improve the quality of your life. He is the author of Talk to Me: Communication Moves To Get Along With Anyone. www.drogrady.com.

The Miracle of Good Communication

What makes for good communication? It’s easy to make communication mistakes, and that’s why I sometimes tease that good communication is a miracle. Yet, the truth is, good (or bad) communication starts at the top, powerfully rippling down to people throughout families and organizations, like a snowball rolling down a hill. But you already knew the power of your words or lack of them. What talk must we walk together to qualify as good communication in your real life?

WHAT MAKES FOR GOOD COMMUNICATION?

In a recent opening Talk To Me© positive and effective communication class exercise, tuned-in students came up with this list of essentials for good communication:

  • Keep it upbeat and positive
  • Be clear
  • Don’t leave until both parties understand
  • Be sure to look at the big picture
  • Make time for short meetings
  • Be direct
  • Stay focused
  • Be sincere and honest
  • Be on equal ground feeling at ease
  • Confidence: Believe in yourself and in your talk partner
  • Use self-control

THE MOOD FLAGS ON THE RACE TRACK?

Everyone is zooming around the track at work. Do you account for the mood of the person you are talking to? Do you manage your own mood well? Are you able to be a positive communicator when your mood is frustrated (yellow flag of caution), angry (red flag to get off the talk track pronto), or confident (green flag that signals all is well)? You can learn to be a PosiTalker, whatever your mood happens to be, when you drive using the T2M Driver’s Manual and system four minutes a day.

THE MIRACLE OF COMMUNICATION

Think of good communication as the hub of a wagon wheel. Benefits flow down each spoke of the wheel…benefits such as improved morale, higher productivity, fewer problems, extra effort, attracting A players, tossing out bad apples from the orchard, feeling focused and energized, sharing recognition respectfully. Pretty nifty results when the rubber gets rollin’ down the road of good talk at work or home.

ABOUT TALK DOC, DENNIS E. O’GRADY

Dennis O’Grady, Psy.D., is known as the Talk Doc since the advent of his positive and effective communication system, Talk to Me©. Dennis is president of the Dayton Psychological Association and is a clinical professor at the Wright State University School of Professional Psychology. His talk textbook, Talk to Me: Communication Moves to Get Along With Anyone, received the 2008 Axiom Business Book Award Silver Medal. Dennis is currently (and through the end of the year) training 2000 corporate executive management/supervisory employees for a very successful regional trucking company. The results are so outstanding that the company has expanded the original contract to include all managers and supervisors, instead of just the executive management team. He has also trained smaller groups for an internationally known designer and manufacturer of robotics, as well as training all employees of a small, local electronics distributorship. He also uses the T2M system with his private, relationship communications training clients. Please feel free to contact the office to set up a time to speak with Dr. O’Grady. You won’t regret that you made the call — no one ever does!

Top Picks For Sales People

A MULTIDIMENSIONAL WARRIOR

What are top picks for a positive attitude set for top sales people? In the Talk2Me© positive and effective communication system, top sales people continually venture outside of their comfort zones. They don’t criticize what everyone else is doing, or failing to do, instead getting on down the road of two-way communication that consistently yields results and boosts energy especially when you hit roadblocks or have setbacks. Picking top sales people is an intuitive art and logical science.

TOP LEADERSHIP COMMUNICATION SKILLS FOR SALES PEOPLE

Top sales people are in the driver’s seat of their own professional and personal life by using these 6 strengths of a realistically positive attitude:

ATTITUDE #1: A SELF-STARTER
Top sales people are self-starters who are alert and organized, confidently going into the unknown, to pick the new fruit of old opportunities. They don’t get to the end of their driveway in the morning feeling indecisive about whether to turn left of right.

ATTITUDE #2: A QUIET AGGRESSIVENESS
Top sales people have a lean competitive streak in them. They are willing to work hard to accomplish results by using their multidimensional talents. They don’t suck up to the manager, which is a low trust indicator.

ATTITUDE #3: A STRAIGHT SHOOTER
Top sales people don’t exaggerate and tell you straight about suggestions to do things differently and better. They don’t manipulate others by keeping them close to avoid hearing needed negative feedback.

ATTITUDE #4: OFFERS IDEAS AND FIXES
Top sales people are new idea generators and can take criticism all day long, but don’t become chronic complainers. They don’t quit and are passionate about finding answers to your business problems.

ATTITUDE #5: GO WHERE FEW DARE TO GO
Top sales people harvest the entire field knowing that differences enrich us all. They don’t avoid half of the field that includes potential customers of an opposite communicator type who are difficult to build rapport with.

ATTITUDE #6: A COMPLEX COMMUNICATOR WITHOUT A COMPLEX
Top sales people know that communication is everything, and that many personalities and influences flow together or impede the sales process. They don’t shirk from living on the edge of stress every day … the edge of fatigue … the edge of changing trends and peoplescapes.

Top sales people are “multidimensional communication warriors.” They’re using the strengths equally of sensitive Empathizer-type and insensitive Instigator-type communicators. Thus, E-types become more ME-types and I-types become more WE-types.

SOMEWHERE ALONG THE WAY SOMETHING CLICKED INSIDE OF ME AND I FEEL LIKE A TOTALLY NEW PERSON

This 39-year-old Empathizer male communications client had this to say after 5 sales leadership training sessions in the Talk2Me© system:

I really need to thank you. Somewhere along the way something clicked inside of me and I feel like a totally new person. I could go on and on. My joy is back and happiness follows and my negative thinking has almost totally disappeared. If something comes after me negative, I’ve figured out how to turn it positive. My emotions are powerful and I’m getting compliments at work to “keep doing what you’re doing because it’s working.” The issues that brought me here are no longer an issue. I’ve totally released and let go of what I can’t control. I just really want to thank you for doing what I came here to accomplish. You’ve given me great tools. I’m responsible to use them and it’s up to me to use tools that work. This is stuff I always knew within me but the fear of changing kept me from doing. I’ve applied the T2M tools in a frame of mind of wanting to move along instead of feeling tired or defeated.

STOP PUSHING AGAINST THE RIVER

So stop pushing hard against the river of opportunity … quit paddling backwards against the flow of communication … flow with the force of the river to go downriver and net results as big as your biggest dreams. Your life starts today! After all, you are a multidimensional communication warrior!

A MULTIDIMENSIONAL WARRIOR

You are a warrior when you come home through the door exhausted. What’s needed in the top sales professional? A good personality … highly motivated … positive energy … ability to juggle 100 plates on long sticks … shrugging off rejection like water off a duck’s back … and still smile. It’s multidimensional selling at its best.

WHO IS “TALK DOC” DENNIS O’GRADY?

Dennis E. O’Grady, Psy.D., is a Dayton communications psychologist and relationship communications coach. Dennis wears two hats, one of corporate trainer in leadership communication skills, and the other as a couple communications expert. The Talk2Me system bridges communications gaps and helps resolve family conflicts. Dr. O’Grady’s mission is to give you tools to use to improve the quality of your life. Dennis is the author of Talk to Me: Communication Moves To Get Along With Anyone. www.drogrady.com.

Tactical Communication

IT ALL BOILS DOWN TO GOOD COMMUNICATION

It all boils down to communication…how you feel about talking and how you avoid a communication meltdown. Do you feel like a goof ball when it comes to good communication? People often have two different sets of expectations, and if you don’t discuss things, there’s bound to be upset. Those who frequently communicate often find that they don’t hate exchanging information. In fact, they find that even when expectations collide, communication crashes do not necessarily result.

EXPECTATIONS CRASHES CRUSH RELATIONSHIPS

Expectation collisions crush relationships. But it’s not that big of a deal if you’re tactical in your communication. What is tactical communication? Tactical communication is intentionally initiating a discussion, taking a little extra time to build trust, when you don’t have to. A good time for this is when the pressure isn’t on you and your talk partner to achieve anything monumental. So, by putting a little energy in on the front end, you protect your prized relationships when stress and strain set in.

So, what are three shortcuts to give good talk a chance in your life?

GIVE TALK A CHANCE

The three C’s of good tactical communication, or two-way talks, are: Connect, Clarify, Confirm. Here’s how to make these three-Cs of two-way talk tactics work for you today:

C1. CONNECTING. “I’m just calling to find out what, if anything, is up regarding….” or “I wasn’t sure if you had heard this, so I wanted to fill you in.”

Tactical Talk: In short, you reach out to stay in close touch, especially when you don’t have to.

C2. CLARIFYING. “I’d like to clarify something with you if you have a second….” or “What do you expect to happen next?” and “What is your take on all of this?”

Tactical Talk: In short, to quell anxieties, you’re clarifying expectations and emerging realities by openly comparing notes and perceptions.

C3. CONFIRMING. “Let me see if I’ve heard you correctly….” and “Are you saying that the next steps are…?” or “So what you and I are agreeing to do by the end of the week is….”

Tactical Talk: In short, you confirm that what you think is true, is actually going to happen.

GIVE GOOD TALK A CHANCE IN YOUR LIFE TODAY

Tactical communication is predictable and preengineered to avoid many unnecessary misunderstandings. As one client said, “I’ve learned from your T2M system that it’s not that big of a deal when you’re tactical in your communication!” Give good talk a chance in your life today.

ABOUT “TALK DOC” DENNIS O’GRADY

Dennis E. O’Grady, Psy.D. is a Dayton region relationship communications psychologist and corporate trainer. Dennis is the developer of the innovative and results-driven communication system, Talk To Me: Communication Moves to Get Along With Anyone, available at drogrady.com.

What I Gain When I Lose Weight

BE AWARE OF WHAT YOU EAT

What do you gain when you lose weight? By using the Talk to Me© positive and effective communication system, Empathizer-type communicators, who often struggle with weight issues, can stop eating compulsively. How? By focusing their thoughts on what will be gained by eating sensibly. You’re eating life is going to get a whole lot healthier…if you want it to.

WHAT DO YOU GAIN WHEN YOU LOSE WEIGHT?

It’s not about looks. It’s not about the weight you are. Losing weight is not the goal. Breaking the thought pattern is the plan. E-types are able to change long-standing habit patterns of eating by focusing on positive thoughts and results. You can change the spots on a leopard. How? By changing the thought processes, healthy eating habits will emerge, resulting in feeling healthier almost immediately.

FOCUS YOUR AWARENESS ON GOOD THINGS YOU GAIN BY EATING SENSIBLY

Write down a list in black-and-white about what you will gain when you lose weight. Make sure to list at least 15 good outcomes. Preferably, send this list to yourself in an e-mail and flag it as important. Print out the list, or put the list on a card to carry with you and pull out whenever you eat. Don’t try to change what you eat but how you think about the outcomes of your eating. One client’s list is used as illustration below.

Whenever I eat, I will now think about these things which I will gain when my weight decreases:

  • I can hold my grandbaby
  • I can get up from a chair easily
  • I won’t get winded when I walk
  • I can buy clothes in more stores
  • I can fit into booths when I play darts
  • I can put lotion on my feet
  • I will be able to tie my shoes without straining
  • I will feel healthy
  • I will feel better about myself
  • I will have a healthy relationship with a mature guy
  • I will put positive people and things into my life
  • I can do more things I enjoy
  • I will love and approve of myself
  • I will encourage good things to happen
  • I will be independent
  • I will do what I want to do
  • I will figure out what I like
  • I will do what I’ve never done before
  • I will be in charge of my life

HOW TO BE AWARE OF THE AMOUNT YOU EAT…

Eat in awareness! It’s all about you! When eating compulsively, or when you’re compulsively thinking about eating, you aren’t aware of what or how much you eat, nor do you remember what you ate. The Million Dollar Talk Tool creates awareness of eating while you’re eating, which creates permanent change! It’s all about how you feel and think about the freedom to love your life and those in it.

MILLION DOLLAR TALK TOOL…WHILE EATING I THINK ABOUT WHAT I WILL GAIN BY NOT EATING COMPULSIVELY

In my experience, Empathizers have more struggles with weight issues than do Instigators. Each talk type preference produces desired changes quite differently. OK, Hear Ye All Empathizers: Whenever you eat (or think of eating), try to think of how you will profit by letting go of unnecessary eating. You’ll be glad you’re regaining your independence by caring for yourself.

ABOUT COMMUNICATIONS PSYCHOLOGIST, DENNIS E. O’GRADY

Dennis O’Grady, Psy.D., is known as the Talk Doc since the advent of his positive and effective communication system, Talk2Me©. Dennis is a corporate consultant and team trainer, while maintaining a private practice which focuses on improving communication. His Talk2Me© training programs for Dayton Freight Lines (Regional LTL Transportation Services); Morris South (CNC Machine Tool Distribution); Parts Express (Electronics E-Retailer); and Motoman (World Leader in Robotic Solutions). Dennis is president of the Dayton Psychological Association and is a clinical professor at the Wright State University School of Professional Psychology. His talk textbook, Talk to Me: Communication Moves to Get Along With Anyone, received the 2008 Axiom Business Book Award Silver Medal. Not much time to read? Check out www.drogrady.com for hundreds of blogs dedicated to Dennis’s communication approach. You can contact the Talk Doc at 937.428.0724, or email him from the website.